I'm not the girl with two laptops, except when I am

It's been a whirlwind of a trip, in almost every way. Yesterday I walked briefly on Sproul Plaza, remembering what it was like when I visited the campus, when I was sure that's where I had to get an education, wondering if, with my giant bag and dress and fishnets and sneakers, I looked like a college student. I went to Walnut Creek and Emeryville.



I bought a MacBook Pro (13-inch) and learned how to Skype. I found out I'm going to be on The Gayle King Show today, calling in at 10 am EST via Skype to talk about sex and social media. I also met with the folks at Cleis Press, had a fabulous reading at Good Vibrations in Berkeley, sampled mini cupcakes in sea salt caramel, peppermint patty and French toast/maple bacon,and ate dinner at T-Rex, which I highly recommend if you're in Berkeley. This time I didn't want to throw up on BART, though my stomach was a bit off yesterday as well. I blame the travel and stress. I learned how to use Skype and had a lovely time luring someone else into downloading Skype. I luxuriated in my hotel room at Hotel Durant (thanks Quikbook, who I know it must seem like I'm being sponsored by, but no, I'm really just a giant fan of the site, and that's how I am when I'm a fan).



So now I have two laptops. I got the new one because I've been wanting/needing to, but it was a rush because of Skype. I got it right after seeing The Agony and the Ecstasy of Steve Jobs, a show about the use of underage labor and horrific working conditions at Foxconn, a factory with 430,000 workers in Shenzen, China. I'm not going to summarize that show here, but you should see it. It's funny (the monologue as a whole, not the reality of workers leaping to their deaths from atop a factory) and brutal and the dichotomy between the almost movie set-esque quantness of Emeryville and the sleekness of the Apple Store, and my new computer, crossed with the conditions I heard about was discomforting. Of course it was. I had read a lot about the topic beforehand, but hearing about it firsthand, and hearing what we didn't hear (there was a line that chilled me, perhaps the most out of all of it, about if he told us the worst of the stories, "you'd close your fucking ears" - I put that in quotes even though it may not be exactly what was said, but I think it was). Coming on the heels of a story about a worker whose hand was fused together building an iPad, yeah, that's pretty chilling. It made me want to know and, I will fully admit, not want to know. I'm still pretty awed by the fact that there were no photos shown, nothing but words, but the images I was left with were frightening and sad and again, that dichotomy, that reality that even the LED screens lighting up the stage were likely made in the places being talked about. Yes, that stayed with me, and will stay with me, even as I try to make sure I can justify this laptop's purchase for something more vain than a TV appearance, for the kind of writing I want to get back to.



I felt spoiled walking into that store after hearing those stories, spoiled handing over my credit card and walking out with this sleek new box, and now I'm a girl with two laptops, except, trust me, I'm not that girl. I've never in my life had two computers open next to me at the same time.Still trying to figure out what to say when I call Apple.

This trip feels surreal in more ways than I can say, and the fact that my body hasn't been so cooperative, that I'm a little groggy even when I'm wide awake, even when I'm basking in the sun while noticing my friends checking in to Snowpocalypse, maybe softens some of the surreality, some of the sense of what have I done with myself since I left this town in 1996. I know I've done a lot, I know I'm almost completely unrecognizable to the girl I was then, but still, it's a strange feeling, and yet I love the community of friends who came out to the reading, that one of my readers drove in from Davis, that I can afford the luxury of my hotel, that I'm going to meet with my virtual assistant today for breakfast. I'm grateful, I guess, humbled, learning. Sometimes I need to be forced to take a step back and appreciate what I have, what my life is, and also, perhaps, what it isn't. I get so used to seeing the glass half full, but I'm starting to reevaluate that.


With Gotta Have It contributors Donna George Storey (left, "Anal-yzed) and Denise Hoffner (right, "Concensus") at Good Vibrations, Berkeley


peppermint patty cupcake


deviled eggs at T-Rex Barbecue


Brussels sprouts (with squash and bacon bits) at T-Rex Barbecue

Apple store erotica at Nerd Sex Night, 4/15, In The Flesh Reading Series

Emerald's story "Shift Change" is from Best Women's Erotica 2010 edited by Violet Blue. She'll be reading a juicy expert of this tale of a customer and some very special Apple Store employees tomorrow night at In The Flesh Reading Series. Don't miss it! All free, plus free cupcakes and candy! I recommend arriving by 7:15/7:30 to get a seat, and you can also sit downstairs and listen, drink and chat. Please spread the word to your favorite nerd(s), sex or otherwise.

Here's the beginning of the story:

There were no other customers at the Genius Bar, and as the “Genius” behind it, his denotation as such announced by his shirt, plugged in and switched on my laptop, I took a closer look at him. Upon first glance I hadn't found him particularly attractive, but as I watched him he began to seem right on the line between classic tech geek and an understated sexiness. His expression was serious as he watched the screen, its bright light reflected in the lenses of his glasses as he typed and clicked and probed and whatever else the Apple Geniuses do when someone brings in a problematic computer.

The more I watched him, the more mesmerizing he became. He wasn't the kind of guy I usually found myself attracted to, the kind that turned my head on the street and brought an unsolicited “fuck me please” forward in my brain. He was the kind that was necessary to watch like this, instigator of a quieter kind of attraction that came out only when all the characteristics that showcased his sexiness--focus, intensity, knowledge--came together for display. Even when he spoke, he did so with concise, no-nonsense syllables in a tone neither dull nor distant. Everything about his professional focus and action seemed to flow, but in a very structured manner. Like liquid through a straw.

And suddenly I wanted him to direct that attention at me.

And here's another excerpt from "Shift Change" from Emerald's blog:

“I walked up to him, and he turned to me, never breaking eye contact as he dropped his cigarette and crushed it out with his boot. I didn’t break stride until I was touching him, my lips devouring his, the smell of cigarette smoke fresh in the cold fall air. His response held no hesitation, and his arms wrapped around me, his hands roaming from my ass up to my neck through my hair. I normally hated cigarette smoke, but I loved the way he was touching me so much that at that moment it barely fazed me.”

Here's what Violet Blue says in the introduction to Best Women's Erotica 2010:

Finally, bringing the fantasies nearer to reality is the book’s closer and showstopper, “Shift Change” by Emerald, which makes sure that for us, a trip to Apple’s Genius Bar will never, ever be the same. And the wait will seem just a little more endurable with the fragments of Emerald’s multipartner story floating wishfully—and giddily—through our heads the next time we have to “take a number” to get a minute with a Genius.

Click here to listen to "Shift Change" read by Best Women's Erotica 2010 editor Violet Blue on her podcast Open Source Sex.





In The Flesh logo by Molly Crabapple

There's no need to RSVP, but for those who'd like this information in another format or to spread the word, Nerd Sex Night is also on Facebook. See also the In The Flesh Reading Series fan page on Facebook. Free candy includes mini Kit Kats, mini Peppermint Patties, mini Hershey's candy and Reese's Peanut Butter cups, along with 200 free Baked by Melissa cupcakes and chips, cookies and more! We're opening up the downstairs for those who want to drink and mingle while you listen. It's a not-to-be-missed evening.

IN THE FLESH EROTIC READING SERIES
NERD SEX NIGHT
April 15, 2010, 8 pm - 10 pm
AT HAPPY ENDING LOUNGE, 302 BROOME STREET, NYC
(B/D to Grand, J/M/Z to Bowery, F to Delancey or F/V to 2nd Avenue, http://www.happyendinglounge.com)
Between Forsyth & Eldridge. Look for the hot pink awning that says "XIE HE Health Club."
Admission: Free
Happy Ending Lounge: 212-334-9676
http://www.inthefleshreadingseries.com

Get geeky at Nerd Sex Night! Featuring Mike Albo (The Underminer), memoirist Elizabeth Bard (Lunch in Paris), Emily Cavalier (food writer, Mouth of the Border), sexual health researcher Laura G. Duncan, erotica writer Emerald (reading her Apple store erotica "Shift Change" from Best Women's Erotica 2010), chef and food stylist Akiko Moorman, author Stephen Elliott (The Adderall Diaries). Hosted and curated by Rachel Kramer Bussel (Peep Show, Bottoms Up, The Mile High Club). Free samples of Astroglide lube will be given out. 100 free copies of Sexis Magazine will be given out. Free cupcakes by Baked by Melissa along with chips, candy and other snacks will be served.

In the Flesh is a monthly reading series hosted at the appropriately named Happy Ending Lounge, and features the country's best erotic writers sharing stories to get you hot and bothered, hosted and curated by acclaimed erotic writer and editor Rachel Kramer Bussel. The series was named Best Reading Series by New York Press in 2009. From erotic poetry to down and dirty smut, these authors get naked on the page and will make you lust after them and their words. Since its debut in October 2005, In the Flesh has featured such authors as Laura Antoniou, Mo Beasley, Susie Bright, Lily Burana, Jessica Cutler, Mike Daisey, Stephen Elliott, Valerie Frankel, Polly Frost, Gael Greene, Andy Horwitz, Debra Hyde, Maxim Jakubowski, Emily Scarlet Kramer of CAKE, Josh Kilmer-Purcell, Edith Layton, Logan Levkoff, Suzanne Portnoy, Sofia Quintero, M.J. Rose, Lauren Sanders, Danyel Smith, Grant Stoddard, Cecilia Tan, Carol Taylor, Dana Vachon, Veronica Vera, Susan Wright, Zane and many others. The series has gotten press attention from the New York Times’s UrbanEye, Escape (Hong Kong), Flavorpill, The L Magazine, New York Magazine, NBC New York, New York Post, New York Observer, Philadelphia City Paper, Time Out New York, Flavorwire, Fork in the Road, Gawker, Gothamist, Jezebel.com, Nerve.com, Serious Eats, Tasting Table and Wonkette, and has been praised by Dr. Ruth.