Email: rachelkramerbussel at gmail.com



 

Lusty Lady

BLOG OF RACHEL KRAMER BUSSEL
Watch my first and favorite book trailer for Spanked: Red-Cheeked Erotica. Get Spanked in print and ebook

Sunday, January 31, 2016

All my January 2016 essays and articles

One of the things I started doing this month/year is keeping track of my income and expenses, and along with that, what I published and wrote each month. I know; why wasn't I doing this sooner? Well, I've always been among the last to do the things I "should," but I'm 40, and I'm slowly figuring out that it's better late than never.

So I decided on the last day of the month, I'll share links to all my paid writing that was published that month (I also blog once a month unpaid for Lady Smut, a site devoted to romance and sexy stories that I highly recommend if you're interested in the topic). When I had a full-time job, I also freelanced, but I always dreamed about working for myself. In my head, it was all about writing for many, many hours a day. The reality is a lot harder, and requires constant juggling. One day might be devoted to research and pitching; another transcribing; another writing and another editing or teaching and most likely, all of the above in some form. While I love what I do, I also appreciate in retrospect what I had at my previous jobs: things like paid holidays and days off. Now, if I don't write, I don't get paid, and that makes the stakes a lot higher.

I've gotten more and more used to the sometimes frenetic pace, but it also means there's less time to pause and reflect because once I file one story, I'm on to the next one, or at least, planning and plotting and pitching the next one. I do want to be able to count how many articles I wrote this year, but the reality is, some take under two hours to complete, and some, such as my profile of host of the podcast Reckonings, take many hours, between podcast listening, interviewing, transcribing and writing. Ideally, the hours balance each other out, and the more I work, the better I get at juggling the shorter and longer assignments.

Each day can get so busy and I usually end my workday planning for the next day, which makes it easy to forget what I did the day before, let alone the week or several weeks before. I've been a fan of Nicole Dieker's freelance earnings income reports (I also recommend her blog) and while I won't be doing that, I will be sharing what I've published.

This month also involved packing to move, moving, unpacking, some major book promotion for my latest anthology and traveling to Los Angeles and San Francisco for work, but if I've learned anything since become a full-time freelancer a little over four years ago, it's that no month is "typical." In February, I will also have some travel and will be cutting back a little on my freelancing to best focus on my LitReactor erotica writing students, but as I said, freelancing is unpredictable and while I have a few pieces I wrote in January that should run in February, beyond that, I have no idea what my output will be. Beyond setting a specific financial goal for each month, I aim to publish work in one publication I've never written for each month. So far, I've fallen short on my financial goal, but did write for two new publications, Broadly and Ravishly.

If you are interested in writing personal essays about sex or doing sex journalism, my next Sex Writing 101 class on that will be in Chicago on April 1 from 1:30-4:30 p.m. (details at the CatalystCon, although you don't have to attend CatalystCon to attend my workshop), and I also offer private consulting if you have an essay or piece of writing you're looking to polish and submit. Rates are at rachelkramerbussel.com (scroll down); I'll be launching a site focused on my sex writing consulting and classes in February with more information.

I'll probably hold off on blogging about my articles unless it's something particularly noteworthy until the end of February, but I do share most of my writing on Twitter and Facebook. Also, in case you didn't know, I sometimes offer suggestions for article titles, but those are chosen by the publications.

Broadly
"What Happens When a BDSM Author Converts to Christianity"

The Daily Dot
"Kink.com updates model rights following James Deen allegations"
"'Reckonings' is a podcast for guilty consciences"
"Kanye West and Amber Rose's Twitter fight inspires Etsy Valentine’s Day cards"

Mic
"These Dads Giving Honest Sex Advice to Their Kids Are Changing the Sex-Ed Game"

Ravishly
"Trying to Get Pregnant at 40 Is the Hardest Thing I've Ever Done" (at the moment the site is down, but you can also read it at Scary Mommy)

Salon
"How these 5 little words can jump-start an illicit sexual affair"
"Gay sex and gun love: Oregon militia-inspired erotica reimagines grim standoff as fun-filled orgy"
"Don’t feel guilty about buying used books: Writers won’t see a dime of that sale, but it’s the long game that counts"
"“Nudity will never be passé”: Penthouse, counter to reports, has no plans to stop publishing in print"
"Stop watching “Hoarders”: Our lurid reality TV obsession with mental illness has crossed a line"
"It’s “Dear Fat People” for TV: New “Fit to Fat to Fit” show oozes contempt, disguised as empathy"
"Memo to Kanye and Amber Rose: Straight guys can like “fingers in the booty,” too"

The Washington Post (Solo-ish)
"It might take you 121 first dates to find the love of your life"

Labels: , , , , , , , , ,

Want a free book from me? Just snap a photo of Best Women's Erotica of the Year, Volume 1 being sold by a bookstore!

Since I love books and bookstores, and just unpacked all my books and have a lot of extras (see the photo below), I'm offering you the chance to get a free book from me just for snapping a photo and letting me post it on my Best Women's Erotica of the Year Instagram account. Easy peasy, right? If you see my new book (and my favorite, because yes, I play favorites and am not ashamed to say I'm super proud of it and of my authors), Best Women's Erotica of the Year, Volume 1, at any bookstore anywhere in the world, just snap a photo (like I did at Good Vibrations), send it to me at bweoftheyear at gmail.com along with the bookstore name and city and your name and mailing address, and I'll send you a book I've edited. If you have your heart set on a particular title, let me know and I'll do my best to make sure you get it. That's it; everyone who sends me a photo by February 29th will get a free book and my thanks!

I wish I could personally visit every bookstore stocking the book, but I can't unless I win the next Powerball. I made a list of 10 independent bookstores thanks to some IndieBound sleuthing (that's where you can go to find out what independent bookstores are in your neighborhood) which currently have the book in stock, and I'm sure there are others I don't yet know about so I'm looking forward to find out who's selling it and giving them some social media love, because I want to support the bookstores taking a chance on my book in any way I can.

I still get a rush of excitement when I see "on our shelves now," because I picture someone pausing and pulling my book from the shelf. Maybe they've read Fifty Shades of Grey; maybe they've read Anaïs Nin, maybe they've never read erotica before. Maybe they're a woman; maybe they're not. Maybe they've been wanting to write erotica of their own and read all the bios at the back and think, I'm going to try my hand at writing a sexy story. Whoever they are, that these bookstores are putting my title, one of probably tens of thousands, they could choose from, on their shelves, means the world to me. Not just to my career, but to me as a book buyer and reader who often browses in the hopes of coming across a book I've never heard of before that sweeps me away. Whether or not people buy Best Women's Erotica of the Year, Volume 1, which I certainly hope they do, it's a huge symbol for it to be stocked at these wonderful stores, and I want to pay tribute to that in my own little way, and I greatly appreciate your help in doing so.

Thanks for your help and I hope to send out lots of free books! As I said, I'll be sending the book of my choice, but I do take requests, and these are most of the available books (there's an almost complete list on my website):

mybookshelf

Labels: , , , , , , , ,

Friday, January 29, 2016

7 spots left in my LitReactor erotica writing class starting February 11th

I wanted to let you know there are 7 spots (of 16) left in my next LitReactor online erotica writing class, which runs February 11-March 10. Registration closes either February 10 or when it sells out, whichever happens soonest.

litreactorfeb11

You can read about the weekly lectures and assignments at LitReactor, but I wanted to share some details that aren't on there (though I really should add them).

In addition to the weekly lectures and writing assignments, which you can read more about at LitReactor, I also offer daily posts about relevant topics, such as social media presence, choosing a pseudonym and exclusive to the class interviews with publishers, editors, literary agents and authors. This will be my sixth time teaching Between the Sheets, and each time I strive to improve it and make it as up to date as possible. For this class, I've been researching the market and interviewing new agents and publishers and reading extensively in the genre to bring you the most up to date information possible.

You can also ask me and the class anything on LitReactor's message boards and if I don't know the answer, I will research it for you and find out. I definitely encourage students to bring questions and ask as much as you want during the class. You'll also be able to access the materials indefinitely once the class ends, but you'll get the most out of it if you participate as it's happening. You'll be invited to join my private online group for alumni of my online and offline classes to continue the conversations from class and ask further questions, and that's where I share calls for submissions and news related to erotica.

I put a heavy emphasis in the class on preparing your writing to submit to publishers, in part because I think it's a good lesson in going from start to finish and crafting your words to meet a given call for submission, and because I believe it's a wonderful learning process. I've had numerous students report back on their progress and will also share their perspective on what the submission and publication process is like. I aim for this class to be a place where students from around the world (we tend to have a mix of students from various countries) can learn from me and from each other, delve into what they want to write about and craft completed stories that they can either submit as is or continue expanding upon.

Questions about the class? Email me at rachelkb at gmail dot com with "LitReactor" in the subject line. I'm also hoping to host a webinar next week for those with questions and am just sorting out the technical details and should have that information soon.

More information:

Interview with me at LitReactor

What my most recent LitReactor students have said

What previous LitReactor students have said

Labels: , , , , ,

Thursday, January 28, 2016

Best Bondage Erotica 2015 is only $1.99 right now on

Sale alert: I know it's 2016, but Best Bondage Erotica 2015, the last of the series I edited for five years (I've now moved on to editing the Best Women's Erotica of the Year series), is only $1.99 now through February 1 (it may run another day or two, but if you want the sale price, I'd buy it by then to be sure). If you are interested in kinky, creative erotica, such as yoga erotica, home repair erotica, knitting erotica and much more, I would definitely check this out at the low price. Fun fact: part of why, to my understanding, the annual series' from Cleis have been rebranded is so nobody thinks a book of bondage fiction like Best Bondage Erotica 2015 is outdated just because the calendar has rolled around to 2016. It's not, I promise! If you would have liked it last year, it's still plenty sexy this year.

Here are the buying links:

Amazon

Nook

Google Play

iBooks (ignore the incorrect cover; I know, and have put in a request to have it changed to the correct cover, but the inside has all the sexy stories below, which I know because I bought it)

Kobo

BBE2015 on sale

You may be thinking, Hmmm...that sounds interesting, but I'm just not sure I want to buy the book. Good news: You can read excerpts from each and every one of the 21 bondage stories! I love giving readers a free sample of what's in my books, because I want people to know what they're getting, and to showcase my amazing authors. So without further ado, click on any story title below for bondage sexiness and get the ebook this week for only $1.99.

Foreword: The Moment by Annabel Joseph

Introduction: Bondage at Home and Away by Rachel Kramer Bussel

The Centerpiece Erin Spillane

An Unforgettable Ride Elise Hepner

What Happens in Vegas… Tim Rudolph

The Thug Sommer Marsden

Housewarming the Craftsman Daddy X

Multiple Choice Emily Bingham

Tying the Knot Rob Rosen

Baddha Konasana Corvidae

Queen for a Night Robert Black

Bound to Lie Nichelle Gregory

Tied and Twisted Jodie Griffin

Cocoon Annabeth Leong

Auction, in Quotation Marks LN Bey

Melt Elizabeth Coldwell

You Shall Not Come D.L. King

Point and Click L.C. Spoering

Stuck on You Jenne Davis

In Suspense Shenoa Carroll-Bradd  

Trinity’s New Hobby Lucy Felthouse

Plastered Anna Watson

Of Human Bondage Rachel Kramer Bussel

Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

The one thing I would have done differently for my standing room only Best Women's Erotica of the Year reading in San Francisco

For the most part, I've retired from organizing readings, because if you didn't already know, they are a lot of work and while there are rewards, they aren't usually in a direct financial form. Yet they are still an important part of what I see as my involvement in the erotica community and, I believe, a valuable way to connect with an audience live. For me it's a way to meet my authors in person, when I've only ever interacted with them via email. Yes, I may get to know them by doing interviews with them and following them on Twitter but that's not that same, and as much as I'm a loner, I'm also a very social creature.

So when I commit to it, which means taking time away from income-generating tasks like writing, I commit to it. I've been organizing readings since my first anthology publication in Best Lesbian Erotica 2001, when I was able to get readers from around the United States to come to Bluestockings in New York City for what was a wonderful evening.

I wanted to share a little of what I've learned from 15 years of organizing readings. Now, in some cases, your publisher may organize ever aspect of it for you, and this will be irrelevant. For me, I'm as hands-on and involved as possible because that way I know exactly what's happening and can ask whoever's booked the reading any questions I may have in advance. As you'll read below, I didn't ask a key question and that wound up costing me book sales. But aside from the rookie mistake made with last week's reading, it was still far more crowded than I was expecting, so much so that we were standing room only for the first book reading from Best Women's Erotica of the Year, Volume 1 at Good Vibrations. One of the first things I do is try to organize a reading as early as possible to give people time to mark their calendars and give myself time to promote it in local media and readers time to share the news with their networks.

Telling people about readings is a tricky endeavor; you want to tell them early enough that they can save the date, but don't want them to forget about it by the time the reading happens. You also have to stagger your media outreach so that the places that need the most advance notice get it, but the daily publications or blogs also get notified at the appropriate time. One thing I failed to do with this one, because I was packing to move and busy with other work, is have my publisher send a hard copy of the book along with the reading listings to local press. I had meant to send that list but got distracted, although I did submit the listing to several local newspapers and sites.

Other places I like to list events, if applicable: Galleycat on Facebook, She Writes, Poets & Writers, Eventful, Yelp (under the venue's page and then "events"), Craigslist (whatever the local site is for your event). Anywhere that hosts event listings that are relevant to your topic, go for it. You may not have time to list it everywhere, but if you have an assistant or someone who can help you, the more places you can list your event, the broader the audience you'll reach. You can also survey people at the event with a show of hands or just asking people about how they heard about it to get a sense of which places yield the best results, although I've found that varies with every event, which is why I try to list as widely as possible. When I do readings, there's always aspects that I don't get to, but I try to cover as much ground ahead of time as I can, including reaching out to local friends and asking readers to spread the word as far and wide as they can. You never know who will show up.

The things I did right, though? Getting the event posted on Facebook and Fetlife. I also actively used the Facebook listing to share links to the Q&As I did with the authors to generate ongoing interest and provide free samples of what they'd be reading so people could get excited ahead of time. Those also came with photos of the readers to make the connection more personal. Facebook turned out to be a major source of interaction about the reading, both before and after.

A little over a week before, I sent the listing to SFist, and they published it on a list of "12 Cool Things to Check Out This Week" and even gave it a little plug, so people who may have been hearing about the book for the first time, whether or not they could attend, might be inclined to further check it out. Here's what they said:
San Francisco is a literate town (think Litquake), and tonight's reading of Best Women's Erotica of the Year, Volume 1 puts a very SF twist on our love of all things literature. Featured readers include editor Rachel Kramer Bussel, and well as various contributors. Not for the heteronormative, the "hot, varied pansexual stories" should make for a fun evening.
I arrived in San Francisco that morning by what felt like the skin of my teeth; my Virgin America flight from Los Angeles kept getting delayed due to weather but finally made it. Then I had a rush assignment so I spent a few hours at the airport, then headed over to Good Vibrations, arriving around 5:15 for the 6:30 reading to check in. I asked to put out the postcards I'd brought and asked about copies of the book.

Here is where I'm majorly kicking myself, because as it turns out, the store didn't have that many copies of the book (I don't know exactly how many but they weren't prepared for the demand, which I take responsibility for since I booked the reading and didn't even ask about this beforehand). Later on, they sold out quickly and there weren't any more, which was a lost revenue opportunity for everyone: me, my publisher, and the store. Now, I probably don't need to tell you that every book sale counts, especially when you factor in the cost of my flight from Los Angeles to San Francisco and my time, but just in case, I will. I make about one dollar for every book purchased, so I knew going in I'd be losing money on this event. Still, those book sales are important, beyond the specific dollar amount, especially in the first few weeks a book is out. Early sales help set the stage for how a book will do going forward, and strong early sales can give stores a hint of whether they should stock more copies or wait and see if anyone will purchase it. That's why I pushed hard to have this reading held the same month as the book's release; the book is still new and there's excitement about it, but soon other new titles will be competing for readers' attention.

I'm not involved in the regular purchasing process, but I would imagine that if a book sells a lot during a reading that would prompt the store to order more because it's been proven that their customers want to buy it. Good Vibrations is an exception because they had a few copies on their shelves (see my Instagram snapshot below) and are officially carrying it, but most small independent bookstores that purchase my books take 1 or 2 copies of it, since shelf space is limited, so that means that buying a copy at one of those stores has a great impact, because it shows that there's an audience for the book. (Here's a sobering post about what we really mean when we talk about book sales for many independent authors.) So my goal for the reading wasn't to make back my costs, because I consider those business expenses and part of what I'm willing to invest of my own money to promote my book, but I want to use this mistake to make sure I don't do it again. While I can't control how many copies of a book a store takes, I can give them a heads up about how many people I expect to attend and purchase, and now I have this successful reading as an example to refer to (I am hoping to do a reading in the summer or fall at the Good Vibrations store in Brookline, Massachusetts).

If I knew I wouldn't make a profit, why did I decide to do this reading? There's several reasons, beyond my desire to leave my house and interact with live people rather than purely electronic communication. One is that I think there are few venues where you can hear erotica read out loud, and that means people will remember and appreciate those who can offer that. You can simply hear different aspects of a story when the author reads it, whether that's little asides or jokes or backstory or simply the inflection and emphasis they put on certain words. Secondly, my book just came out and it's my first time editing the Best Women's Erotica series, and I wanted to come out swinging. I wanted the book to be buzzed about, to have people remembering the stories vividly in a different way than they'd get just reading them off the page. I chose San Francisco because that's one of only a few cities where my far-flung authors, who are located in six countries, could attend. If I ever win the lottery, my dream would be to do a reading with all the authors in one of my anthologies who were interested, but until that day, I have to rely on local authors or those willing to generously donate their time to travel to readings.

bweoninstagram

I also wanted to have photos and video of readings to share on my social media channels. For this book, because I believe in its potential so strongly, I've branched out and tried something new: a dedicated Best Women's Erotica of the Year Instagram account, one I plan to use for Volume 2 and any others I edit in the series. I love that because it means that when I saw the book on the Good Vibrations shelves, I could tag them and have the focus be on my book. I will be doing that for any stores stocking Best Women's Erotica of the Year, so if you see it anywhere, pretty please snap a photo and send it to me at bweoftheyear at gmail.com and I'd be more than happy to credit you.

Posing for the cameras
We were awash in cameras wanting our attention! Back row: Amy Butcher and Rose Caraway. Front row: Jade A. Waters, Dorothy Freed, me

I don't have the resources to pull off a book trailer, but I did invest in hiring someone to record the readings so that those who couldn't attend could also hear the authors read (these will be up in about a month). To me, this is invaluable because as an editor, I can read the words on the page over and over and believe in their power, but hearing them read aloud, in every single case, put a new spin on them. I got to hear what the audience's reactions were to the funny and the sexy parts and everything in between. I got to find out what questions people had about the stories and my Volume 2 call for submissions during our Q&A. That is invaluable market research and that is another reason I wanted to do this reading; people may not know they have questions until they hear the work read aloud.

So the one thing I didn't do was make sure with my publisher that there would be a large supply of books at the store the night of the reading. I didn't even ask, because I was so focused on doing everything in my power to make sure there was an audience there to hear us. Clearly more could have sold, which made me feel heavily disappointed in myself for not taking book sales more seriously, because what better souvenir of a reading is there than an autographed copy? I know every time I move, I save my autographed books because they capture a specific moment in time that I want to treasure. Ultimately, I'm still thrilled with how the reading went. This was a best case scenario: a room full of people eager to meet the authors, get their books signed (someone who reads almost exclusively ebooks even bought a print copy so they could get it signed) and go home and read the stories they'd just heard snippets of. I'm hoping those who didn't pick up a copy that night either go back to Good Vibrations and buy one or purchase one elsewhere.

As it turned out, it was a perfect learning opportunity, because the next Best Women's Erotica of the Year, Volume 1 reading is coming up March 31st at The Pleasure Chest in Chicago, and you can be damn sure I am starting early on promoting it and spreading the word and will be actively engaged in finding out how many books the store has on hand. I booked the reading then because I will be in town for CatalystCon and can't wait to meet Tara Betts and Rose P. Lethe and read with them. Hope you can make it, and if you can spread the word about the Chicago reading to anyone who might be interested, I'd be very appreciative!

A final note: these are just my experiences with booking readings. Your mileage may vary, but I think for any genre, the wider a net you cast, the wider a potential audience you'll draw. You're still competing with weather, other events in your town, and the rest of people's lives. There will always be people who want to attend but can't, but that's a better scenario than someone who might have been interested but never even knew your reading was happening.

Labels: , , , , , ,

Wednesday, January 27, 2016

How I handle a bad writing day

I almost titled this post, "How to handle a bad writing day," but as with many things, I can't tell you how to do anything, I can only offer my experience and perhaps suggest ways you can handle a similar one. Yesterday started off well; I transcribed several interviews in order to file a piece. Then I sent some emails about an article I'm working on and did other tasks, but around three o'clock, I hit a wall. I felt frustrated, mostly with myself, like there was no way anything I wrote or any idea I had would be worth pursuing.

If it were nicer out, maybe I would have taken a walk, and perhaps I should have; I plan to today because I have the "excuse" of going to the post office. I did some administrative tasks while watching Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, but found I couldn't even get into the pole-dancing scenes. I just felt like my mind was a waste of space, and anything I started I abruptly stopped.

messydesk

Now, seeing the above photo, some people might say: it's your desk. It's the clutter. But not me. I'm a firm believer in the messy desk = more productivity theory.

So instead of trying to pound out words that were only going in circles, I pretty much gave up for the day. I decided to forget about the fact that my inquiries for that article turned up several people declining to be interviewed, to forget that I had still more transcription awaiting me, to try to put aside all the frustration I felt with my day. I admit I was a bit grouchy when my boyfriend got home, which he didn't deserve at all. We ate separate dinners, which we rarely do (mine was a bagel and hummus) and watched Jeopardy! and cuddled a bit. I took a bath and read a library book (the young adult novel Wonder, which I learned from Natalie Merchant's documentary Paradise is There is based on her song of the same name).

Setting your work aside is not a strategy that's always available. Often the work needs to be done and you have to find a way to plow through. My work tends to be less urgent most of the time, which is a blessing and a curse. When I need to, I can report and file a story from the airport (especially when it's one with free wifi like SFO), as I did last Tuesday. Sometimes I wish all my writing were like that because I would have to finish no matter what, but the reality is, usually I have a week or a few weeks for an article, a few months to turn in an anthology, a few days to edit a student's story, so a few hours here or there are not going to make or break a project. But sometimes, for me, I need to step away in order for my brain to recalibrate, for me to remember that all is not lost and that even though I may not be able to write through my own seething anger at myself, that will pass.

This morning I woke up and firstly, had gotten a full night's sleep, rather than waking up at four and thinking that was prime reading time, thus throwing off my day. I'd let myself sleep even though I had that same to do list haunting and taunting me and making me feel guilty for not working every second of the day. Then when I checked my email, I found that rather than the daunting declines I'd gotten the day before, I had messages from people eager to discuss my article topic. I made oatmeal and brainstormed new ideas. I made a relatively reasonable to do list. I noticed that the Amazon price keeps dropping on my new book and an older one is on sale, neither of which directly relate to my writing but are still pleasant things that will hopefully earn me a little extra money down the road.

Will today be a perfect writing day? Who knows? But I can say that I already feel more motivated than I did at the end of yesterday. Given that I'm going to be launching two websites soon to promote my work teaching both erotica and nonfiction sex writing, it feels a little dangerous and perhaps self-defeating to admit that I have bad writing days, to share that I get so stymied by my own demons I let them get in the way of my work. I am aiming to file roughly one article a day in order to meet my 2016 income goal, and I wish I could share a glowing report about how that's going. I will be posting some of the details of how I'm keeping track of my income and expenses this year, but probably after a few months, once I've fully sorted all the data. But the thing about emotions is that they don't track so well on spreadsheets. They sneak up on you and can derail you from a perfectly logical, straightforward path. Maybe it was hormones, maybe it was frustration, maybe I just needed a break yesterday for some unknown reason.

I'm posting this not because I think it makes me look together or professional, but precisely because it doesn't. I believe that baring my flaws is just as important as announcing my successes, because both are complementary parts of me. Sometimes I err on only focusing on one side (usually it's the flaws), and that's as imbalanced a portrait as only celebrating the successes.
br> Yes, I make a living through a mix of writing, editing and teaching, but I'm not perfect. I falter, sometimes more often, sometimes less. What I'm aiming to do this year is not so much falter less, as pick myself back up more quickly. The positive side of having various sources of income is that I actually welcome the work I do that isn't about my writing. Like many people, I can often be a better critic and editor of other people's work than my own, which is why I'm excited that I have a LitReactor class starting two weeks from tomorrow, and am open to new consulting clients. Helping other people polish and publish their work fuels me in different ways than spewing out my own words. It makes me feel helpful, useful, like I'm putting the things I've learned via trial and error over the last 16 or so years to good use. Not that I don't believe in my own writing, which I do (when I'm not having a day like yesterday), but the various tasks balance each other out. I don't think I could embrace being a full-time freelance writer if I didn't also have editing and teaching work.

At other times, some of the ways I've handled a bad writing day are: pick an article I read online and respond to it, write a listicle (they are harder than they look!), write a review of someone else's book, praise or repost someone's work I admire, clean my room (a never-ending task in my case). The best thing I can say about bad writing days is that for me, they make me all the more grateful for the good ones. And by "good," I don't necessarily mean that I filed a story or wrote something I was thrilled with, but where I was engaged by the work, where I approached it with my whole self, rather than doing so halfheartedly while secretly cheating on whatever I'm ostensibly writing by planning out the next thing I want to write in my head even as I type.

That is the state I strive for: to be fully in the moment, whether that's listening to an interviewee's words again as I type them up, digging deep into my emotional well for a personal essay, or penning a fictional sex scene. So while I'm usually not one for advice, the best thing I can say about a bad writing day is that at some point it will be over. A bad writing day is no big deal as long as you find a way to bounce back. That may not happen immediately, but I try not to let myself linger in that "nothing I write is worth it" mental state for too long, because the longer I do, the harder it is to shake that conviction. So if you too struggle with writing, I hope it's a short struggle, and that maybe through that struggle, you find something new to write about once you're on the other side of it.

Labels: , ,

Tuesday, January 26, 2016

The only reason I left my house during the Jonas blizzard

I actually wrote this yesterday, Monday, and thought I'd posted it but apparently had not. Now the sun is shining even brighter and I may even attempt a walk on what I think will be mostly cleared streets today. Onto the post..

While people around me were freaking out about the snowstorm this weekend, I was excited. I'd just spent several days flying across the country, taking Ubers around Los Angeles, reporting and writing an article from SFO, and I was happy to be back home. My boyfriend was over his cold and I am still getting used to our new place, with its weirdly placed light switches and everything still a little haphazard from our move less than two weeks ago.

So Saturday my boyfriend and I simply watched the snow fall from indoors, admiring it dancing in the light, speculating how many inches we'd get. We did one of the many jigsaw puzzles I got as gifts over the holidays. He lovingly chastised me for not having read many of the classic book covers we were putting together, and we said things to each other like, "Where's George Orwell?" and "This is chainmail; it must be Beowulf!" Often our jigsaw puzzles stretch on for weeks, but this one we blazed through in a matter of hours. It was hard to get a closeup shot because the puzzle was so wide, but here's the final result:

jigsawbooks

He baked bread and we put away the rest of my books, the ones that bear my name on the spine, the ones that remind me on my worst days, You made this, so you can do whatever tough task you're facing.

We watched our streets get plowed, and I was grateful that unlike last year, when we were renting a house in Red Bank and had to shovel ourselves out, sometimes multiple times in one day, this time we didn't. The owners of our place do it for us. They didn't do a perfect job of digging us out, but they did well enough. On Saturday, we stayed inside, and the only reason I opened my door was to take this photo of my new book, because I'm that dedicated to it and really do believe it'll warm you up (please don't burn it though!)

bweinsnow

Sunday, after the snow had stopped falling, we finally ventured outdoors, walking on the pristine light flakes while trying to clear out our driveway enough to get the car out. I was hesitant to be on the road, but we did get groceries, our original weekend plan, and the ride was surprisingly smooth. But I keep going back to Saturday and how magical it was. There was nowhere we had to be and nothing pressing we had to do. The snowstorm, even though it was right outside our door, felt pretty extraneous to our lives. I let myself let go a little bit of the constantly consuming to do lists and tasks that permeate my days, when I easily could have treated it as just another work from home weekend.

I discovered a newfound appreciation for living in a home that I truly enjoy. For so many years in Brooklyn, my home wasn't joyful. I was grateful for it, but it was such a disaster in every sense of the word that being snowed in would have meant feeling stir crazy.

Now I've come to embrace the concept of home in a way I couldn't have done in that Brooklyn apartment, at least, not the way I'd kept it. I couldn't even conceptualize a home with wide open swaths of floor, enough that I could plop down on and bask in the sunlight hitting me in just the right spot. I would have assumed that was how other people live, but not me, so to have the quiet and space I do now feels like a gift. Instead of just throwing random "important papers" into my filing cabinet, I use actual files that I access when I need them. For the most part, I know where my books and clothes live enough to be able to find what I want to read or wear in minutes, rather than hours. There's plenty more I need to organize, but it's a sea change from my old m.o.

I like my new home office even better than the last one because the sun shines in through my curtains onto my desk. Right now I have a view of the mostly cleared driveways of my neighbors, the snow slowly melting. Working from home and running my own business often feels like a mixed blessing; I miss some of the camaraderie I see between coworkers, the basic human contact during the workday. But I also appreciate the solitude, the noises and rhythms of a home running smoothly that allow me to tackle what I need to without the constant distraction that all my old clutter provided.

Would I say I want more snow or want to spend every weekend indoors? No. I'd be more than happy to do without another blizzard. But I liked that feeling of bunkering down, liked our first full weekend in what I hope is one of many years of weekends in this place.

Labels: , , , ,

Monday, January 25, 2016

When a Jewish erotic romance author becomes a Christian inspirational romance author - my Broadly Q&A

Speaking of breaking into new markets, I've been reading Broadly since it debuted last year, and have found it fascinating, especially its coverage of sex. So I'm thrilled that today my first piece for Broadly is up; it's a Q&A entitled "What Happens When a BDSM Author Converts to Christianity". Some of you may be familiar with the work of Shoshanna Evers; I published several of her short stories and she wrote many BDSM erotic romance novels. Now that she's converted to Christianity, she's using the name Shoshanna Gabriel and you can read all about it in our interview, including the line, "I literally had an erotic story published that had no consummating sex scene. By accident."

inspirational romance

ShoshannaGabriel

Labels: , , , , , , , ,

Sunday, January 24, 2016

Baring my soul about trying to get pregnant at 40 (plus advice for those like me whose writing gets rejected)

Last year was a wonderful one for me in terms of writing for new markets; I broke into a lot of publications I'd wanted to write for, ranging from print ones like The New York Times and O, The Oprah Magazine to online publications such as DailyWorth and The Kernel. I believe the total was between 12-15, but life got busy and I never wound up doing a post rounding those up, so I can't say precisely. I can tell you that every time, it felt like a giant victory, like I'd cracked a code I'd been trying to analyze and solve. Each of those victories in turn spurred me on to keep pitching, keep brainstorming and keep writing.

I've decided to continue my goal of writing for 12 new publications a year in 2016. So far, I'm on track, aided by a very personal essay up now at Ravishly, a site I encourage you to bookmark, entitled "Trying to Get Pregnant at 40 Is The Hardest Thing I've Ever Done."

ravishlyessay

I wanted to share a little backstory and encouragement: I originally wrote this for a prompt (though I don't remember the exact wording) for The Mix, Hearst's series of daily prompts for their assorted sites, and it was rejected. I submitted it to a dream publication, one I've wanted to write for for years. The day I met with my publisher and heard that Best Women's Erotica of the Year, Volume 2 would be happening, I got an email saying this dream publication wanted to publish the piece, with some edits. I was over the moon!

Long story short, that publication wound up not wanting the essay. Was I upset? Of course. Who wouldn't be? But I decided that the topic is too important to me to simply shove the essay aside and move on to the next one. Ravishly was another dream publication, so I sent it to them, and they said yes. They've even sponsored the post on Facebook, which makes me happy not because I get paid more, but because it shows they believe in my essay and believe that it will resonate with their readers, which I certainly hope it does.

Especially when you're writing about your most intimate thoughts, it can be daunting to keep submitting, to not give up even when you have no guarantee you'll be successful. Part of why I pushed myself is that I'll be launching a blog dedicated to this topic soon, because having a baby is uppermost on my mind these days and what I'm devoting myself to in 2016, so it seemed natural to write about it on a regular basis. That it's also something on the minds of other people I know, largely but not exclusively women, has been borne out by the feedback I've received, which has been encouraging and thoughtful and full of resources I hadn't come across before. I'm thrilled that I stuck with this essay, because as it turns out, the reactions on Facebook have been priceless.

For some reason, I actually held off on posting it there for a few days because this is a topic that makes me nervous. I worry about being judged or scolded or railroaded into trying every old wives tale remedy or potion. I worry about judging myself for having waited so long, for procrastinating on charting, for not having unlimited financial resources to try any medical means necessary of getting pregnant...really, there's no shortage of reasons I judge myself for not being a mom yet. But I've come to realize that it's okay to have those worries and fears, and that releasing them into the world simply makes me feel better. It doesn't erase them, but it eases them, and also gives me new insights and information I didn't have before. I now have a research list of methods and supplements and reading about fertility that I only got from friends because they'd read my piece.

It's perhaps a circuitous way of sharing, in some ways; I do talk to my friends who are moms about fertility but often I can be my most raw and real on the page. Yes, writing is my job, but it's also my calling. It's how I figure out what I'm doing and feeling and where I want to go next.

I share all that by way of encouragement for any writers who are reading this and feeling stuck or frustrated or unsure. If you're struggling with rejection, no that nobody likes rejection, but it's an inevitable fact of writing, and sometimes a given piece just hasn't found the right home yet, and sometimes, it takes time to match a piece of writing with its intended audience. There's nothing wrong with using trial and error, and taking those rejections as learning opportunities and chances to spread your wings, and your words.

Labels: , , , , , , , ,

Thursday, January 21, 2016

How The Art of Asking led to me talking about Tampa by Alissa Nutting, Morrissey's novel and the Bad Sex in Fiction Awards on LitReactor's Unprintable podcast

I'm back home from California, enjoying being back in my own bed, in my chilly in certain spots but lovely new home, and catching up on blog posts and writing. I had meant to share a fun interview I did recently, and a little backstory on how it happened, and now I am.

This podcast interview was a huge honor, because it's with a podcast and company I greatly admire, and a lesson in Amanda Palmer's book title The Art of Asking, one I've previously put into action as well. It's probably the #1 business/creativity book in my life in terms of the profound effect it's had (close second, or in the running for #1, is Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear by Elizabeth Gilbert). I'm not saying I'm in any other way like Amanda Palmer, who I don't even know that much about beyond reading the book, but I am saying the principles of her approach to asking have stayed with me ever since I read it and I try to remember them when I'm going after something I want, or I'm nervous about making a request, even though it feels utterly right in my heart.

I will save my "why I believe in DIY author self-promotion" rant for another day, but suffice it to say, while I used to wait for opportunities to magically appear in front of me, now I go after opportunities. I feel I owe it to myself and my business, and I believe in my message enough, and my offerings (like my upcoming LitReactor online erotica class, hint hint!) to want to share them with the world, and by "the world," I mean the world beyond people who might already know who I am (like you, my wonderful, patient with my meanderings blog readers). Especially when I become a fan of a podcast, which often feels more intimate to me than reading, because I'm hearing someone's voice, I'm hearing how they ask questions, how they pause and phrase things, how they laugh, I tend to think about what it would be like to be a guest. In many cases, that wouldn't make sense, because it's not about what I do, but when it is, I let that image linger a little longer and if that image like it would make sense, I let myself envision it happening, which makes the ask a lot easier.

Gaining that perspective, that I'm coming from a place of passion about my work and belief in its power and importance and in the case of my teaching, effectiveness, changed my sense of asking for things from being rude and pushy to simply being one creative businesswoman asking someone else to share in a mutually beneficial arrangement, while knowing full well they may say no. I don't invest my ego or my sense of self-worth in the answer; I simply see it as one small step toward following my dreams.

Plus, in 2015 podcasts sort of took over my life. I devoured so many new ones and woke up eager to listen to whatever was on tap that day. I haven't been listening as much in 2016 mainly because I was busy moving and have had lots of deadlines and I can't seem to both write and listen to podcasts. I can listen to music, but podcasts require another level of concentration. So when it came to thinking about promoting my new book and my upcoming class, being interviewed on podcasts seems like a fitting next step. Oh, and I got on Girl Boner podcast by asking too. I'm proof that it works.

TL:DR I got over my qualms about sounding pompous or overly entitled and asked politely if I could be interviewed on LitReactor's Unprintable podcast, which I only recently found out existed but quickly became fascinated by (as a book lover, how could I not enjoy hearing what the hosts are reading each episode, told in a manner that conveys of course we're reading, we're always reading).

unprintable-podcast-25

They said yes and here's our episode (yes, that's me and Morrissey pictured above, and we talk about and laugh at a snippet from his novel Bad Sex in Fiction award winning List of the Lost, definitely not something teen me would have thought I'd ever do when I saw him in concert).

Not only did they say yes, they put me on with co-hosts Cath Murphy, who also is one half of the must-listen Domestic Hell podcast (their current episode is on "Granny Vajazzling," which should really tell you whether you're immediately intrigued or not), and whose accent I adore, and LitReactor class facilitator and writer Renee Asher Pickup, for the first all-female Unprintable show. It was so much fun, and while at the top it was suggested we go for 30 minutes, we babbled on for an hour and 15 minutes, and I know I could have kept on talking with these wonderful women for way longer.

It was a sprawling, sometimes hilarious, thoughtful discussion, about sexism in book criticism and mansplaining, Morrissey's purple prose, how Tampa by Alissa Nutting was treated by the media, whether the Bad Sex in Fiction Awards are good for writing, the use of pseudonyms, tattoos, and more. For me, it felt like talking to two old friends, even though I'd never spoken to them before save for a very quick Skype call to go over things a few weeks prior.

Again, in case you missed it the first time: It would never have happened if I hadn't asked. Am I saying you'll get everything you ask for just by asking? No, but I am saying that asking is the first step. Being prepared for rejection is part and parcel of asking, and I'll revisit that topic, but for now, I definitely recommend tuning in and you can subscribe to the Unprintable podcast in iTunes. If you like books and reading, I'm pretty sure you'll like it.

So now I will apply the magic of asking again: if you know anyone who might be interested in my upcoming LitReactor 4-week online Between the Sheets erotica writing class, please pass on the info! This will be my sixth time teaching it, and right now I'm preparing for it by researching and interviewing new literary agents, publishers, editors and authors because I aim to make each class even more informative than the next. In addition to all the stated weekly lectures and assignments, I bring students over a dozen exclusive interviews with erotica publishing insiders designed to help you get published and get your publishing questions answered. Plus I've learned so much about what's happening in my industry that I wouldn't have known otherwise, and found great books to read, like Everything I Left Unsaid by M. O'Keefe, which I'm reading now on the recommendation of the agent who sold it, who I interview for the class.

Speaking of which: I love when students come in with questions! But I also appreciate that four weeks is a good amount of time to develop even more, and that's part of the joy of this class: you can figure out what you want to know as you go along. Plus after it's over, you'll get an invitation to my private online group for erotica writing student alumni where I share writing news and resources, and students ask questions and continue the community that's often formed in the classes. The class is limited to 16 people so everyone can receive as much attention and feedback as they deserve. Questions about the class? Email rachelkb at gmail.com with "LitReactor" in the subject line.

litreactorfeb11

Labels: , , , , , , , , , ,

Tuesday, January 19, 2016

See you tonight at 6:30 at 1620 Polk Street, San Francisco for our Good Vibrations reading from Best Women's Erotica of the Year, Volume 1!

Tonight is my big night, and my new book's debut! Hope to see you there and if you can't make it, tell your Bay Area friends to come warm up with us!

Tuesday, January 19, 6:30-8:30 pm
Free Best Women's Erotica of the Year, Volume 1 reading


Celebrate one of the hottest books of 2016, Best Women's Erotica of the Year, Volume 1! Join editor Rachel Kramer Bussel and contributors Amy Butcher, Rose Caraway, Dorothy Freed, and Jade A. Waters for a sexy reading from these hot, varied pansexual stories by and about a range of daring, feisty, take-charge women, followed by a book signing. Free. Oh, and the store has an Antique Vibrator Museum!
Good Vibrations, 1620 Polk Street (at Sacramento), San Francisco, 415-345-0400

bweJanuary19reading

Labels: , , , , , , , , , ,

Sunday, January 17, 2016

I want to help you get published with my 2 writing workshops today in Los Angeles: Sex Writing 101 and my free Erotica Writing 101 class

Today is the big day, LA! I'm heading off to SHE (Sexual Health Expo) for my noon class teaching you how to make money writing about your sex life, followed by a book signing at the Pleasure Chest booth. Then tonight is my free erotica writing workshop at The Pleasure Chest in West Hollywood. I hope you can make one or both of these and if you can't, I hope you'll let any friends in the Los Angeles area looking to break into these genres and get published know. I really appreciate any way you can spread the word!

Sunday, January 17, noon to 12:50 pm
Nonfiction Sex Writing 101 workshop (aka, make money writing about your sex life)


I'm teaching this workshop as part of the wonderful SHE (Sexual Health Expo), which runs the weekend of January 16-17 and features workshops by Tristan Taormino, Dirty Lola, Mollena Williams and many others on everything from online dating to anal sex, role-playing and much more. See the full schedule here. Your admission gets you in to the whole weekend; get 2-for-1 admission using code RACHBR at Eventbrite.

Longtime freelance writer Rachel Kramer Bussel will cover all you need to know about writing about sex, including blogging, first-person essays and journalism. You’ll learn how to ethically write about your love life, what editors are looking for, where to find experts on sexuality topics, and how to stay abreast of current sex news. Whether you’re looking to write a sex blog, column, articles or books, you’ll find out what makes an intriguing essay or article, how to pitch, how much money you can expect to make, and how to maximize your editorial opportunities. The class will also cover branding yourself as a writer, using and selecting a good pseudonym, using social media to promote your work and do outreach, and how to pitch stories. Please bring paper and writing implements or a laptop to use for in class writing exercises. Rachel is a sex columnist for DAME and a former sex columnist for The Village Voice, Penthouse, Philadelphia City Paper and The Frisky, and has written about dating and sexuality for Buzzfeed, Cosmopolitan, The Daily Beast, Glamour, Inked, Marie Claire, O, The Oprah Magazine, Refinery29, Salon, Slate, Time.com, xoJane, The Washington Post and many other publications. A resource list covering markets for sex-related pieces will be provided.

shelalogo

Sunday, January 17, 7 - 9 pm
Free Erotica Writing 101 workshop



Yes, free! This is a wonderful opportunity for anyone of any level to spend two hours writing and learning. My class is always welcoming and judgment-free, and everyone will get a handout at the end listing publishers and resources.

Professional erotica author and editor Rachel Kramer Bussel, editor of over 60 anthologies such as Best Women's Erotica of the Year, Volume 1, Come Again: Sex Toy Erotica, and The Big Book of Orgasms, will take you through the ins and outs of modern erotic writing, from getting started, finding your voice, and incorporating your surroundings, pop culture, and personal experiences into your stories to crafting a range of characters and settings and submitting your work. In this supportive, welcoming workshop environment, you’ll learn how to write vividly about everyday scenarios as well as outlandish fantasies, and make them fit for particular publications in the thriving erotica market. This workshop will address the recent boom in erotica inspired by Fifty Shades of Grey, provide examples of well written erotica, and will include multiple writing exercises. You’ll be given a handout listing major markets and further reading suggestions. No previous writing experience required. Please bring laptop or pen and paper.

Pleasure Chest, 7733 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, CA 90046, 323-650-1022

Here's a free visual prompt to get you started: use this photo I snapped yesterday in New York to start a story:

pillows

Can't make these but want to know more? Subscribe to my newsletter, sign up for one-on-one consulting (see below) or take my in-depth 4-week online LitReactor erotica writing class.

Erotic fiction and nonfiction sex writing critique service

As an editor of over 60 anthologies, I have read thousands of erotica stories and can help you hone your story or sex scene into one that will dazzle on the page and impress editors. As a former sex columnist for The Frisky, Penthouse, The Village Voice and Philadelphia City Paper and current sex columnist for DAME, as well as contributor about sexuality to publications such as Cosmopolitan, The Daily Beast, Glamour, Harper's BAZAAR, Marie Claire, O, The Oprah Magazine, Salon, Slate, Time.com and others, I can help shape your first-person sexuality essay or sex journalism and offer feedback to help expand your reach in the marketplace. For erotic fiction or nonfiction sex writing, you will provide a story, essay or article (or draft) for me to critique and offer feedback and discussion.

Rates are as follows (pay via PayPal button below):

Written critique of up to 5,000 words $100

Written critique of up to 10,000 words $150

Written critique of up to 20,000 words $225

Written critique of up to 5,000 words plus 1 hour phone call $175

Written critique of up to 10,000 words plus 1 hour phone call $225

Written critique of up to 20,000 words plus 1 hour phone call $300

Written critique


Written critique plus 1 hour phone call

Once payment is received, I will contact you within 48 hours and have you submit your written work for critique and schedule the phone consultation ASAP.

Hourly pricing for longer projects available upon request.

Questions? Email rachelkramerbussel@gmail.com with "Consulting" in subject line.

Labels: , , , , , ,

Why I love publishing spanking erotica stories like "Restitution" by Ria Restrepo

I'm planning to detail on this blog why I picked each and every one of the 22 stories in Best Women's Erotica of the Year, Volume 1, for the benefit of those who've read them and want to know my reasoning, for the intrigue of those who are considering reading it, and for intel for those considering submitting to Volume 2 (the deadline is April 1st!).

BWEOfThe Year_approved

Over at Lady Smut, I wrote "How to have an orgasm from being spanked", which is about what happens in Ria Restrepo's story "Restitution," in which pop star Ella Lopez is spanked by a police offer while being watched through a two-way mirror after she's caught shoplifting. It's a very sexy story on several levels, and I interviewed Ria about the psychology of spanking, her thoughts on her tagline "strong women who desire stronger men," BDSM and submission and more. I hope you'll check it out! You can also get more insight into her writing process in our Tumblr Q&A about "Restitution."

And of course, you can read "Restitution" in full in Best Women's Erotica of the Year, Volume 1. I don't only want to publish spanking stories (unless I'm editing an entire book of them), but I do want stories that push buttons—characters’ and readers’. I want stories that surprise me, that take a topic that may have been done thousands of times in different ways, like spanking, and still manage to say something new and unique and hot.

Get the book now at:

Amazon (print)

Kindle

Barnes & Noble (print)

Nook

Powells

Books-a-Million

IndieBound (find your nearest local bookstore)

Cleis Press

Amazon UK (print)

Amazon UK Kindle

Amazon Canada (print)

Amazon Canada Kindle

Labels: , , , , , , , , ,

Saturday, January 16, 2016

Why used bookstores aren't killing authors' careers

For the new year, I've wanted to try all sorts of new things: routines, behaviors, ways of thinking. The latter seems like it will be the most challenging to crack. I can't really blame myself for not sticking to routines when I spent the first week of the year packing to move and the second week moving and unpacking. But I'm trying. I now devote Fridays to bookkeeping, inputting everything I spent on my business the week prior. I've done my best to get out and jog/walk a few times a week (now to figure out the key card to my gym!).

One of the ways I want to change my bad thinking habits is to expect more good things, of the world and myself, and part of that means rather than lamenting and berating and obsessing over what I haven't done (but meant to), I celebrate the things I have, while also, of course, keeping myself accountable and on track to catch up with what needs to be done.

I'm on a plane right now to L.A., for my two writing workshops tomorrow. During my bus ride into New York, and again when I got on the plane, I made copious to do lists, basically rehashes of all the other to do lists I made earlier this week of articles I need to write, emails I need to send, various tasks I need to accomplish. I write them down to remind myself, but what often winds up happening is that I look at them and cringe and start to hate myself. So I'm working on better systems; I don't have the answer yet, though if I come up with anything useful, I'll share it.

Which brings me to this week's writing. I have a new piece hopefully going up next week for a site I haven't written for before, but one that did go up today that I was happy I got to write is about why used bookstores aren't taking money away from writers or at all akin to piracy, as was suggested by writer Kristen Lamb. I offered up my thoughts on used bookstores and quoted various writers I know, none of whom was dead set against used bookstores, and some were even very pro-used bookstores. Tiffany Reisz told me, "I’d no more apologize for buying a used book than I would for buying a used car."

salonwriters

Are my trying to form better thought patterns and my new article connected? Yes. My work world moves so fast that sometimes, even though I share most of my pieces on my various social media channels, I forget to take even a few seconds and savor the feeling of a new byline, a new piece that I worked hard on, whether it took an hour or twenty hours. I want to try to take that time more often, as a way of stepping back and also pushing myself forward. My old way clearly wasn't/isn't working, because all it does is leave me feeling overwhelmed and, often, hopeless, thinking my glass isn't just half empty, but dry as a well and never to be watered again, when the rational side of me knows that's not true.

So here's to spending a few days in the state where I used to live, writing new words, and savoring the ones that are harder to come by, but just as, if not more, meaningful than the ones that roll easily off my fingers.

Labels: , , , , , , , ,

Tuesday, January 12, 2016

22 sexy stories are out today in my new book Best Women's Erotica of the Year, Volume 1

The good news: Best Women's Erotica of the Year, Volume 1, my best book but also the one with the least catchy title, is out today in print and ebook!

BWEOfThe Year_approved

I could give you the marketing blurb or back cover copy or any of those official type promotions, but here's what I will tell you: this book made me think about sex in entirely new ways (especially "Waiting to Pee"). It surprised me and awed me and impressed me and turned on both my body and my mind. I've been rereading stories to prepare for the big day and each time, I see turns of phrase and sexy nuances I hadn't noticed before. These are erotic stories, but they are very much stories with fully fleshed out, fleshy, hungry, eager, daring characters. They aren't all perfect, but they all are true to themselves and their desires, no matter how messy or complex or not socially acceptable. And for that, I applaud them and am thrilled to have them nestled between my book's pages.

Here's all the stores I know of where you can buy it (see also links below), from online retailers to awesome sex toy stores (hey bookstores! I want to add you to that list and I'm pretty sure your customers will love all the hotness and creativity! write me at bweoftheyear at gmail.com if you see the book anywhere else and I will add it ASAP - my dream is for that list to be looooong). The bad news is I'll be offline most of the day moving, but back to good news, I have plans to blog about each and every story and why I picked it and it's awesome and you should read it.

In the meantime, I've got excerpts to share with you from two of the stories:
"The Assistant" by Tiffany Reisz and "Scents & Sexuality" by Doriana Chase

You can follow @BWEoftheYear on Twitter and the book's Facebook page and Tumblr and Instagram for the latest news.

And pretty pretty please: if you're in San Francisco, come to our reading one week from tonight, on Tuesday, January 19th, from 6:30-8:30 at Good Vibrations, 1620 Polk Street, San Francisco, with me, Amy Butcher, Rose Caraway, Dorothy Freed and Jade A. Waters. If you can't make it, let your Bay Area friends know! I booked this entire California trip so that I could launch the book with a splash, live and in person (with snippets coming to social media for those who can't be there), and would love to have a packed house. I didn't get to do as much non-social media outreach as I usually would so any word spreading would be wonderful. The reading is on Facebook and Fetlife if that's easier.

bweJanuary19reading

Table of contents (click on highlighted titles below to read interviews with those authors):

Introduction (read it on Tumblr)
A New Canvas Tara Betts
Demimonde Valerie Alexander
Ophelia the Second Jade A. Waters
Revisiting Youth J. Crichton and H. Keyes
Date Night D.R. Slaten
Flying Solo Rachel Kramer Bussel
Drawn by Nic Heidi Champa
The Ropes Elise King
Starstruck Lazuli Jones
The Altar of Lamented Toys Jessica Taylor
Matilda’s Secret L. Marie Adeline
Scents & Sexuality Doriana Chase
Alvin’s Night Elizabeth Coldwell
Enter Me Tabitha Rayne
The Wolf at His Door Deborah Castellano
Out of the Ordinary Rose P. Lethe
Lighting the Pyre Theda Hudson
Restitution Ria Restrepo
The Carnalarium Rose Caraway
Waiting to Pee Amy Butcher
Two Doms for Dinner Dorothy Freed
The Assistant Tiffany Reisz

Read them all by buying Best Women's Erotica of the Year from:

Amazon (print)

Kindle

Barnes & Noble (print)

Nook

Powells

Books-a-Million

IndieBound (find your nearest local bookstore)

Cleis Press

Amazon UK (print)

Amazon UK Kindle

Amazon Canada (print)

Amazon Canada Kindle

Labels: , , , , ,

Monday, January 11, 2016

It's the night before I move and I want to smash everything

Snapshot from the last hour: I try to scan a contract, and my scanner fails, twice. I try to watch a TV show I plan to write about, and even though the TV worked for me earlier in the day, the remote control that I always say hates me, decides it doesn't want to use the volume. For the life of me, kind of like I am clueless about Photoshop, I don't know how to get the remote to do what I want.

Tonight, though, I wanted to toss it across our living room full of boxes. Instead, in the still eerie quiet, while my boyfriend and his parents are at our new place and I'm supposed to be working, I'm typing this instead, in front of a giant empty black screen.

There are a lot of good things happening in my life; I'm writing for new publications, and had my first few bylines of 2016. I've started a very slow combination of walking/jogging, which I'm hesitant to even type out, lest I jinx myself from the minimal progress I've made so far. I'm tackling some long-standing problems in a way that I hope gets them resolved by the end of the year, or at least, the end of next year. I'm flying to California on Saturday, where I'll be meeting a friend's two-year-old who loves princesses and Superman and Wonder Woman and also teaching two writing workshops and getting to do a reading with my authors from my brand new book. It will be a whirlwind few days in hopefully warmer weather than New Jersey is having right now.

But this is where I pretty much feel my all-or-nothing tendencies, my hair trigger ability to cry, my addict genes kicking in. When all the mini frustrations start to build up, coupled with an already toppling to do list, a move, so many things to juggle at once, I start to completely lose it. I'm sure if I had a bigger vice than biting my nails, now would be the moment I activate it.

I always think that a new year, and now, perhaps, a new home, will not just mean a "clean slate," but somehow, a literal new me. I think I'll enter the newness without dragging along any baggage, of any kind. I also apparently think that I gain some special powers and can write faster and multitask and do far more than I'm actually capable of in a single day, and then berate myself at night when I fall short.

I'm looking forward to next week when I'm home and settled in, but I know that before that time, there are going to be big and small things that go awry. Things feel unbalanced and that makes it hard for me to stay balanced, or even counteract that topsy-turviness. I don't want to be too much of a Debby Downer with this post, so I will say, as it almost always does: writing helps. It lets me momentarily step back from my frustrations and aggravations, especially those against myself, and realize that life goes on, despite various setbacks. I have a lot to be thankful for and a lot to look forward to; at the very least, I can be glad I haven't thrown anything across a room or out a window, binge eaten or done anything else more destructive than gnashing my teeth. Tomorrow is a big day, and maybe the new perspective of a new home will help me see my week a little differently.

Saturday, January 09, 2016

See you soon for erotica and sex writing workshops in LA and a free Best Women's Erotica of the Year reading in San Francisco

I'm excited that I've got three live events this month; two on January 17th in Los Angeles and one January 19th in San Francisco. Details below. I know many of you don't live in those areas, so if that's the case, I'd love it if you'd pass on this post or the event info to a friend who is. I don't know how much traveling I'll be doing the rest of the year as I intend to focus on teaching online erotica writing classes (like my next LitReactor one). I'm especially thrilled that one week after the book's official publication date, I get to read with four of my contributors to Best Women's Erotica of the Year, Volume 1. I love getting to read authors' work, but love even more getting to hear them do justice to their words out loud.

Thank you very much to SHE, Pleasure Chest and Good Vibrations for hosting me! These are all excellent events/stores I'm proud to work with.

Sunday, January 17, noon to 12:50 pm
Nonfiction Sex Writing 101 workshop (aka, make money writing about your sex life)


I'm teaching this workshop as part of the wonderful SHE (Sexual Health Expo), which runs the weekend of January 16-17 and features workshops by Tristan Taormino, Dirty Lola, Mollena Williams and many others on everything from online dating to anal sex, role-playing and much more. See the full schedule here. Your admission gets you in to the whole weekend; get 2-for-1 admission using code RACHBR at Eventbrite.

Longtime freelance writer Rachel Kramer Bussel will cover all you need to know about writing about sex, including blogging, first-person essays and journalism. You’ll learn how to ethically write about your love life, what editors are looking for, where to find experts on sexuality topics, and how to stay abreast of current sex news. Whether you’re looking to write a sex blog, column, articles or books, you’ll find out what makes an intriguing essay or article, how to pitch, how much money you can expect to make, and how to maximize your editorial opportunities. The class will also cover branding yourself as a writer, using and selecting a good pseudonym, using social media to promote your work and do outreach, and how to pitch stories. Please bring paper and writing implements or a laptop to use for in class writing exercises. Rachel is a sex columnist for DAME and a former sex columnist for The Village Voice, Penthouse, Philadelphia City Paper and The Frisky, and has written about dating and sexuality for Buzzfeed, Cosmopolitan, The Daily Beast, Glamour, Inked, Marie Claire, O, The Oprah Magazine, Refinery29, Salon, Slate, Time.com, xoJane, The Washington Post and many other publications. A resource list covering markets for sex-related pieces will be provided.

shelalogo

Sunday, January 17, 7 - 9 pm
Free Erotica Writing 101 workshop



Yes, free! This is a wonderful opportunity for anyone of any level to spend two hours writing and learning. My class is always welcoming and judgment-free, and everyone will get a handout at the end listing publishers and resources.

Professional erotica author and editor Rachel Kramer Bussel, editor of over 60 anthologies such as Best Women's Erotica of the Year, Volume 1, Come Again: Sex Toy Erotica, and The Big Book of Orgasms, will take you through the ins and outs of modern erotic writing, from getting started, finding your voice, and incorporating your surroundings, pop culture, and personal experiences into your stories to crafting a range of characters and settings and submitting your work. In this supportive, welcoming workshop environment, you’ll learn how to write vividly about everyday scenarios as well as outlandish fantasies, and make them fit for particular publications in the thriving erotica market. This workshop will address the recent boom in erotica inspired by Fifty Shades of Grey, provide examples of well written erotica, and will include multiple writing exercises. You’ll be given a handout listing major markets and further reading suggestions. No previous writing experience required. Please bring laptop or pen and paper.

Pleasure Chest, 7733 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, CA 90046, 323-650-1022

pleasurechestLA

Tuesday, January 19, 6:30-8:30 pm
Free Best Women's Erotica of the Year, Volume 1 reading


Celebrate one of the hottest books of 2016, Best Women's Erotica of the Year, Volume 1! Join editor Rachel Kramer Bussel and contributors Amy Butcher, Rose Caraway, Dorothy Freed, and Jade A. Waters for a sexy reading from these hot, varied pansexual stories by and about a range of daring, feisty, take-charge women, followed by a book signing. Free. Oh, and the store has an Antique Vibrator Museum!
Good Vibrations, 1620 Polk Street (at Sacramento), San Francisco, 415-345-0400

bweJanuary19reading

Labels: , , , , , , , , , ,

Thursday, January 07, 2016

On overcoming writer's block, one word at a time

True confession time: sometimes I get stuck with my writing. Most commonly, I get overwhelmed. I do not have a grand solution to writer's block; if I did, I would have posted on this blog every day this year, as I had intended to before January 1st, but clearly didn't happen. I did have two articles come out this week (although the first was finalized last week): one on dads and sex ed at Mic and one on new Kink.com model rules for The Daily Dot.

But the list of what else I wanted to write, meant to write, could have written, started to write, thought about writing, etc., is far longer. Now, I'm not saying everyone should write a certain amount per day or week; that's not how I measure my writing. But I would guess that I'm not the only one whose output falls short of my goals not because of emergencies or actually "not having time," but because of something psychological. This is in no way a new issue for me; writer's block and I go so far back it almost feels "wrong" when words are bouncing off my fingers, whipping through my mind whether I'm walking or watching TV or peeing.

For me, it's usually about one of two things (or both of them, cause I'm an overachiever like that): fear and getting ahead of myself. My fear runs deep. This week, I have a few emails I need to send for work; some are asking people to check out my new book, some are requesting interviews for upcoming articles, some are pitching new pieces. Almost all of them, even the easiest of the easy ones, the ones to people I know and like, the ones where there's little risk of a bad outcome, have made me paralyzed with inaction this week. I've drafted those emails several times; I've written them on to do lists that literally litter my desk, but only sent one or two of them.

I've faced a great amount of impostor syndrome and fear of being thought of as a fraud, because while I've faced this writer's block, I've also been promoting my next LitReactor writing class, which in itself took me a having a leap of faith that I could do it the first time. Those voices that tell me you can't are loud, sometimes so much so that I have trouble hearing anything else.

writingteets

As I'm writing this right now, Thursday morning at 8:34 a.m., what I can tell you is that there is a sense of calm running through my veins, an antidote to all the fear I've clung to this week, all the reasons why I needed to do any other thing than write the next essay/article/email/word. Clearly, the rush I'm getting from working out my thoughts by writing them down is like oxygen for me, the equivalent of a deep breath of fresh air after being cooped up in a stuffy, uncomfortable room. It feels like getting myself back.

There will always be other things to occupy my time than writing, but I don't think there will ever be anything else that feeds me in the way writing does, that soothes me, that, as maddening as the process may be, gives me the thrill that writing does. Yet it's more than a "thrill," it's not just a rush or a high; it's more fundamental. Writing is an extension of me, so when I don't do it, when I willfully ignore it, or let the fear win, I feel lesser. When I lie in bed at night, as I did last night, aimlessly reading part of an article, random social media, a few pages of a book I had pre-ordered and was very eager to read but at midnight couldn't concentrate on, I felt hollow, sad, frustrated with myself because I hadn't written what I wanted to. I hadn't even let myself try to write.

In other words, the honest truth is that the only way to get over writer's block of any kind is to write something. Literally, anything. One word, one sentence, one step in the right direction that will help you out of the quicksand of inertia. If even that one word feels impossible, you could start typing up a beloved passage or page from a book, which I've used to get my fingers moving in familiar rhythms, but what I would recommend instead is to type a single sentence or paragraph by someone else, then use that to riff off of. I'll even give you a prompt: the epigraph to one of my favorite novels, A Concise Chinese-English Dictionary for Lovers.

concise

Anything can be a prompt: a word, an image, a song, a quote, a show, a sport, an object, a person, anything, really. Even if it has nothing to do with the thing you "must" write today. What I've found with my work is that the more pressure I put on myself to write, the more deeply afraid I become. I sometimes have to completely let any expectations go and simply write, which, for a control freak, is not easy. I like to know in advance which word should go where, leading me from one to the next to The End, but that is just not always possible. Sometimes the big picture gets so big it obscures everything in its path. No matter how good of a writer I become, I will never be able to write five essays or ten emails or three articles at once. I will only ever be able to write one word at a time. When I try to do more than that by, say, writing one thing but having my mind leapfrogging ahead to the next thing (and usually, it's many next things), I always come up with something subpar.

Here's the thing: anything we want to say requires a little bit of narcissism, and by "narcissism," I mean a belief in the value of what you're saying. My fear ultimately boils down to the notion that someone will reject my words, whether by clicking away, unsubscribing, ignoring my email, writing hate mail, officially rejecting a pitch or simply writing me off in their mind. When I let that fear rule me, I can't get past it; it's too loud, too strong, too compelling. I have to fight it off with every fiber of my being.

When I told my boyfriend how stuck I've been this week, he gave me all kinds of accolades, citing my accomplishments and bylines. I heard him, but in a faraway part of my mind, like we were playing telephone rather than standing next to each other in our kitchen. The thing is, when I'm in the depths of my blocks, my fear, none of my other writing matters. It's almost as if it doesn't exist, or rather, it exists, but seems like a relic from past me. Present me? She convinces herself she has no idea what she's doing.

Speaking of narcissism (which I have to keep spell checking!), here's the kind of healthy narcissism I'm talking about, from an artist you may have heard of:

dali

That Dalí quote/image is from the book The Crossroads of Should and Must: Find and Follow Your Passion by Elle Luna (you can read the basics of her perspective at Medium but I also recommend the book). In it, she writes:
Must is not a faraway land that you hope to arrive at sometime in the future, it's not for tomorrow or another day. Must is for today, now. And as you take daily action, the cliff will cease to be a cliff. It will simply become an obvious next step along your path to Must.
Now, writing is not a "Must" for everyone, but for me, it certainly is. It's both what pays my bills and what feeds my soul. It's how I make sense of my life, and when I don't do it, when the ideas pile up but I watch them drift by over and over again, the fear not only wins, it snowballs. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, because the fear has fuel. The fear can say: See? You should have written that essay and this email and you didn't, so don't even bother trying today/tomorrow/ever. It's too late. But it's never too late in the grand scheme of things. It may be too late in a specific case, but words are always valuable. They are always there for you. They are always accessible as long as you have a writing implement and a piece of paper.

As I'm typing this, I'm listening to the podcast Confessions of a Pink-Haired Marketer by Sonia Simone, and her guest, artist John T. Unger, just said, "Part of why I got into making art is that when I was less successful financially, I just loved art; I wanted to own art. I couldn't afford the kind of stuff I wanted, so I made my own versions of that. And the more that I made, the more it piled up and the more I got good at it...I was working in design until the big dot com crash, and at that point, I was like, you know, instead of learning to do something else sensible, I'm just going to do the art thing, because that's what I want to do, and I'll figure out a way to make it work." (FYI: transcribing people's thoughts on podcasts means you discover that seeing their words typed out is in no way equivalent to hearing them say it, so I recommend listening for the full impact.)

So no, I don't have a secret sauce for overcoming writer's block. I grapple with it far more than I would like. I wrote this for myself as much as anyone else. But I can tell you that especially when I've been stuck, when I haven't written and that inaction is weighing on me, it's downright euphoric when I do get the words out. Most of the time, they are not the words I would have expected to come out. They are not always ones that I'm madly in love with, but they are words, and they feel good, and they remind me that I am not the sum of my fears, but someone who has the willpower and strength and deep belief in my own worth to battle back against those fears.

Want weekly musings about writing? Sign up for my monthly newsletter and then drop me a line at rachelkb at gmail.com and put "Writing tips" in the subject line and I'll add you to my weekly writing newsletter, which is a subset of the main one. (Sorry that's so clunky; I will be streamlining the writing newsletter subscription process, but in the spirit of this post and the interest of not stalling any longer, which clearly I excel at, I wanted to share this now.) I'll be sharing weekly writing links, tips and musings, both about sex and erotica and broader topics related to various aspects of fiction and nonfiction.

Labels: , , , , , , ,