Email: rachelkramerbussel at gmail.com



 

Lusty Lady

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Watch my first and favorite book trailer for Spanked: Red-Cheeked Erotica. Get Spanked in print and ebook

Thursday, June 24, 2010

My interview with New York Times-bestselling author Jillian Lauren about Some Girls: My Life in a Harem

I interviewed New York Times-bestselling author Jillian Lauren about her memoir Some Girls: My Life in a Harem, as well as tattoos, sex work, being on The View and more.



You write about your tattoos and tattoo culture in such a way that your life almost seems to start at that moment. What drew you to that world, and which is your favorite tattoo?

Thanks for mentioning the tattoos! People get so swept up in the exoticism of the harem story that no one ever mentions the fact that in the book I got a tattoo on my vagina for god’s sake.

I decided to get a tattoo when the tattoo gods announced themselves to me. That’s how Eddy Deutsche once described it to me and I thought—that’s exactly it. I have a mystical connection to tattooing. My favorite used to be the Tibetan Dakini I have on my shoulder, although I just got two coy with their tails intertwined in honor of my son, who is a Pisces, so I guess that tops all.

When you were on The View, Barbara Walters called you a “hooker” and some people took offense to that, calling it pejorative. Do you think we’ve evolved enough as a culture so that “hooker/prostitute/sex worker” are just descriptive words rather than slurs?

Well, It didn’t bother me half as much as it bothered all of my friends. That’s what the book is about after all. I don’t think Barbara Walters had some personal vendetta; I think she was just using strong words to create a captivating story. I’m a storyteller too, so I can appreciate that.


Click here to read the full interview.



You can catch Jillian free (and free cupcakes!) along with many superstar authors and performers at my In The Flesh Reading Series.

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Next In The Flesh July 15th - Media Sex Night with NYT bestsellers, comedians, bloggers, burlesque & more!


In The Flesh logo by Molly Crabapple

There is no RSVP requirement, but if you'd like to RSVP and/or spread the word on Facebook, click here for the Media Sex Night event listing. See also the In The Flesh Reading Series fan page on Facebook. Note early start time.

IN THE FLESH EROTIC READING SERIES
MEDIA SEX NIGHT
July 15, 2010, 7:30 pm - 10 pm
AT HAPPY ENDING LOUNGE, 302 BROOME STREET, NYC
(B/D to Grand, J/M/Z to Bowery, F to Delancey or F/V to 2nd Avenue, http://www.happyendinglounge.com)
Between Forsyth & Eldridge. Look for the hot pink awning that says "XIE HE Health Club."
Admission: Free
Happy Ending Lounge: 212-334-9676
http://www.inthefleshreadingseries.com


Media superstars invade In The Flesh. Featuring Kevin Allison (The State, RISK show), Penny Arcade (Bitch! Dyke! Faghag! Whore!), Twanna A. Hines (FunkyBrownChick.com), Jillian Lauren (New York Times bestselling author of Some Girls: My Life in a Harem), Paulie & Pauline (Off The Set), Jerry Portwood (New York Press), Rachel Shukert (Everything Is Going to Be Great) and reading plus performance from Jo Weldon (The Burlesque Handbook). Hosted by Rachel Kramer Bussel (Fast Girls, Please, Sir, Please, Ma’am). Sponsored by New York Press. 100 free copies of Sexis Magazine will be distributed. Free Baked by Melissa cupcakes, candy and chips will be served. This is the countdown to the final In The Flesh December 16th so don't miss a very special night!

In the Flesh is a monthly reading series hosted at the appropriately named
Happy Ending Lounge, and features the country's best erotic writers sharing stories to get you hot and bothered, hosted and curated by acclaimed erotic writer and editor Rachel Kramer Bussel. The series was named Best Reading Series by New York Press in 2009. From erotic poetry to down and dirty smut, these authors get naked on the page and will make you lust after them and their words. Since its debut in October 2005, In the Flesh has featured such authors as Mike Albo, Laura Antoniou, Mo Beasley, Susie Bright, Lily Burana, Jessica Cutler, Mike Daisey, Stephen Elliott, Valerie Frankel, Polly Frost, Gael Greene, Andy Horwitz, Debra Hyde, Maxim Jakubowski, Emily Scarlet Kramer of CAKE, Josh Kilmer-Purcell, Edith Layton, Logan Levkoff, Suzanne Portnoy, Julie Powell, Sofia Quintero, M.J. Rose, Lauren Sanders, Danyel Smith, Grant Stoddard, Cecilia Tan, Carol Taylor, Dana Vachon, Veronica Vera, Susan Wright, Zane and many others. The series has gotten press attention from the New York Times’s UrbanEye, Escape (Hong Kong), Flavorpill, The L Magazine, New York Magazine, NBC New York, New York Post, New York Observer, Philadelphia City Paper, Time Out New York, Flavorwire, Fork in the Road, Gawker, Gothamist, Jezebel.com, Nerve.com, Serious Eats, Tasting Table and Wonkette, and has been praised by Dr. Ruth.

Kevin Allison is a member of the legendary sketch comedy troupe The State, whose series on MTV in the mid-90s was influential for many of today's comics. He is the creator and host of RISK!, a popular live show and audio podcast where people tell true tales they never thought they'd dare to share. The live show won the ECNY Award for Best Variety Show in New York of 2009 and the podcast version of RISK! has been downloaded nearly 700,000 times now. Kevin's recent film and TV appearances include Reno 911!: Miami, The Ten, Wedding Daze, VH1’s Best Week Ever, Comedy Central’s Viva Variety and Stella, and HBO’s Flight of the Conchords. Behind the scenes, Kevin has written for Blue Man Group Productions and JibJab. In the print world, Kevin’s writing has appeared in The Village Voice, Giant, Premiere and Film Journal. He has served as the Artistic Director of The Peoples Improv Theater in New York and teaches comedy writing there, at New York University, at The Philly Improv Theater and online at www.filmlab.ca. He can be reached at Kevin at risk-show.com .



Penny Arcade aka Susana Ventura is an internationally acclaimed and respected performance, theater, video artist, as well as a writer, poet, essayist, and cultural icon. She is one of the few performance artists to gain international renown in the mainstream entertainment world. Bad Reputation [Semiotext(e)] is the first book about Penny Arcade and her work.


photo by Jasmine Hirst

Rachel Kramer Bussel is an author, editor, blogger and reading series host. She is Senior Editor at Penthouse Variations and a former sex columnist for The Village Voice. She’s edited over 30 anthologies, including the kink-themed Spanked, Bottoms Up, Yes, Sir, Yes, Ma'am, He's on Top, She's on Top, Rubber Sex as well as Fast Girls, Orgasmic, Peep Show, The Mile High Club: Plane Sex Stories, Do Not Disturb: Hotel Sex Stories, Tasting Him, Tasting Her, and the non-fiction Best Sex Writing series. Her books won 3 2009 Independent Publisher Awards. Her writing been published in publications such as Clean Sheets, Cosmopolitan, The Daily Beast, Fresh Yarn, Huffington Post, Mediabistro, Newsday, New York Post, San Francisco Chronicle, Tango, The Village Voice, and Time Out New York, and in over 100 anthologies, including Best American Erotica 2004 and 2006. Rachel conducts nationwide readings and erotic writing workshops. She has hosted In The Flesh since October 2005.
www.rachelkramerbussel.com


photo by Anya Garrett

Twanna A. Hines is a sex, dating and relationships writer. She has written for Huffington Post, Lifetime, Nerve, New York Press, Fast Company and others. She has appeared on CNN, NPR, Sirius Satellite Radio as well as CBC, and she has been quoted in the Village Voice, New York magazine, Gawker Media, The San Francisco Chronicle,
EbonyJet, The Baltimore Sun, Vibe and elsewhere. AOL recognized her award-winning site, FUNKY BROWN CHICK®. She attended New York University and other schools. Her B.S. and M.A. degrees are in sociology. Having lived in London, Chicago, Amsterdam, Los Angeles and The Hague, she speaks English and Dutch fluently as well as conversational French. She enjoys passionate love affairs with faraway lands and intelligent men. Get down with the funky brown! ™
www.funkybrownchick.com



Jillian Lauren’s is the author of the memoir Some Girls: My Life in a Harem, Plume 2010. She has an MFA from Antioch University and her writing has appeared in The New York Times, Vanity Fair, Flaunt Magazine and Opium Magazine, among others. She lives in Los Angeles with her husband and son. Her novel, Pretty, is scheduled to be released from Plume in Spring 2011.
www.jillianlauren.com



Paulie & Pauline seek out candid moments in the human experience with a curiosity that is heavily influenced by their backgrounds in journalism and sociology. Mostly, though, their photos reflect their voyeuristic fascination with people and their stories. Photos from Off the Set: Porn Stars and Their Partners have been published in print and online, appeared in several group exhibitions of fine-art photography, and are included in the permanent collections at the Museum of Sex in New York City and the art gallery at the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender, and Reproduction.
www.paulieandpauline.com

Jerry Portwood is the editor-in-chief of New York Press. He is also the founding editor of CityArts, an arts-only newsweekly focused on arts and culture in NYC. His short fiction and essays have appeared in regional and international publications. He keeps saying he's working on a book.



Rachel Shukert is the author of Everything Is Going to Be Great and Have You No Shame? and Other Regrettable Stories. Her work has been featured on National Public Radio, as well as in Salon, McSweeny's, Slate, The Daily Beast, and Gawker, among others. She has contributed to several notable print anthologies, including Click: When We Knew We Were Feminists, Best Sex Writing (Rachel Kramer Bussel, ed.) and Best American Poetry. She is a contributing editor at Tablet Magazine. Her first feature screenplay is currently in development with Yarn Films.
rachelshukert.com



Jo Weldon is the Headmistress and Founder of the New York School of Burlesque. Internationally renowned as burlesque personality Jo Boobs, she's rounded her heels on stages from Coney Island to Las Vegas. She's the winner of such exotic titles as Best Bump N Grinder, Best Teacher and Mentor, and Biggest Cougar in Burlesque! She has worked with performers from Leonard Cohen to Spinal Tap, and has been featured on television shows from CBS Sunday Morning to Gossip Girl. Her book, The Burlesque Handbook: A Backstage Guide, featuring a foreword by Margaret Cho, was released by HarperCollins/ItBooks in June 2010.
www.schoolofburlesque.com



You will hear from the following books:


The Burlesque Handbook
by Jo Weldon


Some Girls: My life in a Harem
by Jillian Lauren


Everything Is Going to Be Great: An Underfunded and Overexposed European Grand Tour
by Rachel Shukert


Off The Set: Porn Stars and Their Partners
by Paulie & Pauline

(see Madison Young reading from Off the Set at In The Flesh here)

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Wednesday, June 23, 2010

My fairy tale story "Let Down Your Libido" out now in Alison's Wonderland

Alison Tyler's latest anthology, for Harlequin's Spice line, Alison's Wonderland, is out now (in stock at Amazon, haven't been to a bookstore this week but if it's not in your local romance section, I'm sure it will be soon). I haven't gotten my author copies yet but it looks fantastic and is perfect for anyone who loves fairy tales.



There's a blog for the book where you can find out more. I was hoping to lure one of the readers to one of the last few In The Fleshes. If that doesn't happen, perhaps I'll read a taste of my story, "Let Down Your Libido." I love that there's a story called "Slutty Cinderella" and one called "The Midas F*ck." Fairy tales are NOT my forte so I'm extra honored to be included here.

Speaking of In The Flesh, postcards are here for the last 6 readings (July-December). Want one? Send your US mailing address to rachelkramerbussel at gmail.com with "ITF postcard" in the subject line.

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Fast Girls excerpt: "Communal" by Saskia Walker

I'm taking this excerpt from "Communal" by Saskia Walker, published in Fast Girls: Erotica for Women (click to read the introduction and table of contents - other authors include Tristan Taormino and Kayla Perrin), from her blog.

I vow that I will be as decadent and liberated in my sexuality as she is.

Kirstie Jefferies made this vow while she listened to another woman reaching orgasm. She was standing outside the communal shower in her university hall of residence, transfixed. She’d been about to return to her room and come back for her shower later, but the sound was so incredibly sexy that she had been forced to stay and listen, her own sense of sexual need rising all the while. Steam billowed over the top of the shower cubicle door and — with it — the sound of another deeply pleasured female moan. Her entire skin prickled, her pussy instantly slick.

A moment later she heard a male voice whispering encouragement. There were two of them in there. Who was the woman? Whoever it was hadn’t wasted any time getting laid. It was the third day of the new term. Kirstie smiled to herself—this was part of what she’d come to University for, liberation of the sexual kind.

“Oh, yeah, you’re so tight,” the man said. “I’m almost there.”

The woman gave a breathless grunt in response. The sound of it sent a shiver of need through Kirstie. Her pussy ached to have that kind of attention and she was getting more aroused by the moment. Female laughter bubbled up inside the cubicle, and then morphed again into intense moaning.

Kirstie’s body responded, identifying on a deep, innate level with the other woman’s orgasm. She was absurdly aroused, trapped there by her need to relate, her need to be that woman. Shifting from one foot to the other, she lifted her hair from the back of her neck, where the skin was feverishly hot. Her sex clenched repeatedly. She brushed her hands over her robe, touching her aching breasts through the fabric.

Inside the cubicle the woman began to pant. She’d reached climax. It was such a turn on that Kirstie couldn’t help herself. She slipped her hand inside her robe to cup and squeeze her pussy in her hand, massaging her clit until it thrummed and slick juices spread half way down her thighs.

Then the man let out a deep, animalistic sound, and Kirstie knew he had come as well. She worked her hand, rubbing her clit until she, too, reached orgasm. Waves of pleasure washed over her. Dropping her head back against the wall, she closed her eyes for a moment to regain her composure, and then straightened her robe.

The couple eventually emerged.

Kirstie stared at the door as it opened, dying to know who they were.

It was Doug, a big beefy blond American anthropology student. The woman he’d been ramming up against the slippery tiles was Teresa, a pretty French student with dyed red hair and tribal tattoos on both arms. The big American guy winked at her as they passed. Did they know that she could hear them? Would they guess that she was aroused, and that she’d been touching herself while she listened to them? She smiled at them, admiringly. Doug looked back and grinned, and Teresa winked at her, too. Whoa, that made her even hotter.

“Hey Kirstie,” Teresa said, and left the shower door open. She had a knowing look in her eyes and a wickedly suggestive smile. “It’s all yours.”

Kirstie thanked her, then darted into the cubicle and drove the bolt home. The way Teresa had looked at her, almost as if she was identifying, made her feel even more horny. When she stepped into the shower after them she felt them even closer around her. It wasn’t just hearing Teresa have sex and wanting to be in her shoes that made her so hot. There in the shower, the sounds haunted her. Looking up she saw that the showerhead had been twisted half off the wall. She pictured the French woman with her hands wrapped around the jutting fixture, reveling in her sexual freedom, her body pivoting from it as the American worked his erect cock into her under the flowing water.

Kirstie’s body burned up all over again with the idea of it. Under the powerful sluice of the water the event played over in her mind and as it did it was with a sudden, breathless realization that she became aware of all the sex that might have gone on in the cubicle over the years, all the women who had found their way to freedom in here. She closed her eyes, almost hearing the whispered voices of the others who had been in here, touching each other, sharing the heat, or stroking their own bodies under the shower. How many orgasms had happened here?

“Hundreds,” she whispered to herself. Hundreds of people getting dirty while they were supposed to be getting clean. The rapidly splashing water was a burbling chuckle that only seemed to confirm her thoughts. A moan of frustration escaped her lips...




Order Fast Girls: Erotica for Women from:

Amazon.com

Kindle edition

Bn.com

Borders

Powell's

IndieBound

Cleis Press

Want a FREE Fast Girls postcard? Email your US mailing address with "Postcard" in the subject line to fastgirlsantho at gmail.com - the book trailer will premiere at the end of July, just in time for August's virtual book tour. We still need bloggers for the tour; if you have a blog and are willing to be part of the tour (you get a free book and you do one post during Auguts about it), email fastgirlsantho at gmail.com with "Virtual tour" in the subject and your URL and US mailing address (you can be outside the US and do it too but I can only afford to mail books to US addresses).

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Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Free dance performance in lower Manhattan

I went to see this dance piece Laura Peterson Choreography: everyone in Battery Park today. It's going on through the 25th as part of Lower Manhattan Cultural Council's Sitelines program. I can't say I really understood it but was interesting to watch.

Official description:

Laura Peterson Choreography is a New York City based dance company that creates highly physical and dynamic pieces with a deep sense of design and detail. Inspired by mass games, flash mobs, swarms and flocks everyone explores the visual elements of choreography with a cast of thirty dancers, changing locations, costumes, and sounds.

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Monday, June 21, 2010

Kinky World reviews Please, Ma'am: Erotic Stories of Male Submission

I'm so thrilled with the first review that's come in (save for Amazon reviews) of Please, Ma'am: Erotic Stories of Male Submission.



This one's from the blog Kinky World and says, in part:

Each story, from the 18 different authors, shares the same goal of all being female-Dominant centered. From what I remember, each story is only told from the view of a male submissive – none are told from the Dominant perspective. Each story varies in the length of the story. Some are five pages while some go up to fifteen pages. The stories vary in the action itself as well as what fetishes are included in each story. A couple stories include crossdressing, some include foot fetishes, some include just-budding male submissives who just broke it to their female Dominant while some of the other stories include stories from full-24/7 relationships.

The thing that they all have in common is that they all are pretty erotic and well written. Each one is arousing in its own way, and if you don’t enjoy one of the stories, there’s another story that will be completely different that will really provide something just as erotic as the first one. I honestly didn’t find a single story in this erotic book that I wasn’t interested in reading though. If you do, though, the stories are different enough that you’ll still be able to find other stories in the book that would interest you if male submission interests you. However, all of the stories in this erotic novel are all male/female stories. There wasn’t any male/male stories which I didn’t notice at the time, but now that I look back, I find it a little odd that there wasn’t.

One of the stories I enjoyed the most was the last story of the book by Graydancer, “I’ll Do It. For Her”. He’s known as a great educator and Dominant in the BDSM scene, and I’ve heard a ton about him, so to read a story about how he sometimes lets down his guard and his wife dominates – it was refreshing, and I knew it was a story he actually wrote from the heart. The story itself seemed a lot more loving and caring than just arousing – which was an amazing way to end the book.


Since the closing story "I'll Do It. For Her." by Graydancer has garnered so much praise, I will share a little of it here:

More often, though, that nail dragging down my flesh is answered by a hissing breath I draw in, and my body tenses, curls, but not away, no, I curl toward the pain she wields. My eyes shut, because I am, even now, a little embarrassed at how much I want this, but that’s all okay, because at that moment I will do it. For her.

A particularly low and evil chuckle of satisfaction comes from her throat, and she begins to make me dance for her with nothing but her fingernail. Run it along my inner thigh, and my legs part for her; draw it across my chest, my torso lifts, spine arching up, a small cry offered as she flicks my hard little pebble of a nipple. Down my stomach, I know where it’s going, and even as my breath hollows it out, trying to escape, I am also lifting up, questing. Sometimes she gives me what I want. She digs in right next to my balls, in that little hollow where my legs meet my groin, and gives me the pleasure of that hidden spot. Other times she stops just short, and if I peek, I see her smile at the expression of frustrated lust on my face.

She loves making me want her to hurt me more.

I crave this pain she gives me, but it’s more than that--I crave the person she becomes. As she lifts on her elbow, over me, her heavy breast pressing against my chest, she lets out the growling laugh I love, and it trails into a satisfied hum as she watches me drink in the pain.

Or maybe what I crave is the person I become. I don’t know; we never really talk about it, it just happens, there in the dark with my cock harder than it ever gets in other sex play. What I know is that when she pushes my hands over my head, there’s no rope necessary to hold them there. There are no leather straps holding back my muscles. There’s not even the need to whisper a command; I know what she wants, and it is her will that keeps my arms up there, her will that I struggle against, my biceps shaking with the effort of not drawing my arms down to protect my vulnerable body.

The body I spread for her.


Read the introduction (which also mentions Graydancer's story) here.

Order Please, Ma'am from:

Amazon.com

Bn.com

Borders

Powell's

IndieBound

Cleis Press

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Back How to Lose Your Virginity on Kickstarter



More info:

HOW TO LOSE YOUR VIRGINITY is the new
documentary-in-progress by Therese Shechter, director of the
award-winning and provocative I WAS A TEENAGE FEMINIST.

When a bridal consultant effusively tells Therese, a
40-something sex-savvy feminist planning her first wedding,
she looks virginal in her white wedding dress, it sets
her on a journey to uncover why virginity still holds
such importance in our hyper-sexualized society.

Her growing tension around chastity-based wedding rituals
is the narrative backbone of the film, but the true target
is idealized, fetishized virginity: its historical role in
U.S. culture, its power to mold and damage a girlºs
self-image and self-worth; its commodification as something
manufactured, sold, given away, taken.

On this quest she engages abstinence ideologues, hymen
specialists, sex educators, porn producers and teenage girls,
to dig beneath the no-win double-message of our hook-up
culture that cynically encourages virginity but sells promiscuity.

What is behind this strange American cultural moment where
Disney starlets flaunt purity rings while writhing on
stripper poles, brothels hold million-dollar virginity
auctions, and artificial hymens can be had for $30 on Chinese
websites?

Therese plays the audience's navigator, decoding a landscape
of conflicting and hypocritical messages about what it means
to be a 'good girl' or a 'bad girl' - and why it matters. In the end,
she follows the white organza road, not only to her own non-white
wedding, but also to a place where young women can have open,
non-judgmental conversations about their own sexuality.

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Reading tonight from "Whore Complex" at NYC Talent Show

I'm still under the weather, but am armed with four prescriptions (higher dose of Advair, Singulair, Proventil and an antibiotic) from my allergist, I'm reading tonight at NYC Talent Show at 10:30 at Bowery Poetry Club! 308 Bowery. And look, there's also bingo at 7. Gearing up for some R&R in Austin this weekend too.

.

And for those outside of NYC or who can't make it, you can watch me online:

NYC TALENT SHOW is a weekly variety/open mic night highlighting the best of downtown NYC comedians, musicians, and variety acts. The show is produced and co-hosted by comedians Victor Varnado and Diane Langan O’Debra. The open mic participants are randomly chosen at the beginning of the show and interspersed throughout the evening amongst booked feature performers. The show will feature performers from Comedy Central, The Onion, Late night with Jimmy Fallon, The Bonnaroo music festival and more! Sign up is at 10pm and the show starts at 10:30pm.

NYC Talent Show is an interesting and unique new approach to the downtown NYC open mic scene. The show is featured live via web feed on the internet by logging on to www.nyctalentshow.com. We will also be live twittering throughout the show and communicating with our internet audience as well as our live audience creating a fun interactive way to participate in a renowned open mic night known for it’s diversity and raw talent.


I'll be reading from "Whore Complex," which I read a little bit from at GLBT Night at In The Flesh. You can read the whole thing in my brand-new anthology Fast Girls: Erotica for Women. The story is fictional, but I really did buy a "I am your whore" card, which I still have, somewhere, at a Renegade Craft Fair.



Whore Complex
Rachel Kramer Bussel

Adrian tossed the cash on the hotel room dresser, fanning the fourteen twenties out; we both watched the crisp, green currency land against the sleek glass. My pussy gave an involuntary spasm as I saw the bills. I left them there, liking the way they decorated the room, what they symbolized, as I got down on my knees. He moved to stroke my long, just-blown-out, deep brown hair before thinking better of it and grabbing a handful, pulling me tight against his crotch.

When I moved to kiss his hardness through his jeans, he said, “I’m not paying you to kiss me.” Fuck, but that made me gasp. I looked up at him through the layers of my false eyelashes, at the Hawaiian-print red and orange shirt stretched across his bulky body and his pale brown eyes staring back at me, before I unzipped him and took his half-hard cock into my mouth. The truth is, I’d pay him for this opportunity, especially to feel him getting even harder as I went about my business.

I shut my eyes to better focus on the exquisite sensation of having him in my mouth, of being full of him, smelling him, tasting him, reveling in him, until he made me open my eyes to watch his cock as it slid in and out of my lips. That went on until he needed to come, and almost as if he were angry at me for making the blow job end, he pulled out and lashed his cock across my face. “Take it,” he said, shoving himself back inside me, his voice going hoarse, his body starting to shake as I did what he told me to, my own body coming alive as I curved my mouth around him. When he came inside me, there was so much of it I had trouble swallowing, but I did, somehow, then stayed there, wrapped around him, his hand on my head, our bodies entwined.

I’m not really a whore, though I am his whore; I even bought him a card that proclaimed as much, though I keep it tucked away in my desk drawer, only to be spied when I go to get a paper clip or envelope, a reminder I in no way need because I live and breathe my whoredom every second of the day. While some men pay real whores for “the girlfriend experience,” I gave up my girlfriend life for this one long ago. The first time Adrian said it to me I was pinned underneath him, his hefty arms locking mine in place. “Don’t ever forget that you’re my whore,” he said, before leaning down to bite my cheek, clamping down at the fleshy rounded-apple pouf of my face, the part magazines tell you to sweep the blush brush over. I liked it at first, the bite, liked that he was literally sinking his teeth into me, indulging in me like he would a fine steak.

Then he bit me again in the same place before coming up so his lips were just above mine. His hand closed around my neck, forcing my eyes up and into his. “That means I can do anything I want to you, any time.”

He wasn’t asking me a question but I could sense he needed me to respond, to confirm the truth of his statement. “Yes,” I said, simple and direct, even though the single syllable still managed to get caught in my throat. What was I really agreeing to? I wouldn’t know until later, but from the first time he’d beckoned me to sit on his lap and whispered that he’d thought about me stripping for him before he bent me over and held me down, I knew I’d agree to anything. His voice ricocheted against my skin, vibrating against my ear, echoing in my memory. We were just verbally agreeing to what I’d consented to that day months ago.

Since then I’ve learned that being a private whore requires a lot of upkeep. It’s not just the visits to the gym, hairdresser, waxer, dermatologist and other maintenance. It’s dressing the part; I can’t exactly wear micro-miniskirts and dresses slit up to just below my ass to my editorial job at a top magazine, even if our beat is fashion. I have a section of my closet that I think of as Adrian’s, since I only wear these outfits for him. Some of them are ones he’s given me, the most obscene, short and slutty, of course. Once, when I balked at a see-through pale pink dress I was sure had been marketed as a nightie, he told me he wouldn’t see me if I refused to wear it. Thinking I was clever, I wore two lacy white slips beneath it. He’d made me wait at the hotel bar, nursing my margarita until I was forced to order another, enduring the stares, leers and come-ons of countless horny businessmen, until he finally strode in. Upon seeing that I had layered myself up, that my nipples were not actually visible through the garment--though I figured they were close enough since they were hard and jutting forward--he promptly walked up to me, whispered in my ear, “You are obviously terrible at listening to orders. Maybe I picked the wrong girl, after all,” then reached up and pinched my inner thigh hard enough to make me wince, before walking out. I had to pay for my drinks and leave casually enough that it didn’t look like I was following him, while absorbing the last few, “I’d pay for a piece of that,” comments as I hobbled along in my five-inch heels. By the time I emerged from the bar he was long gone and if I knew him, he was already moving in on that evening’s piece of ass, one who wouldn’t hesitate to submit to any of his demands. He didn’t answer my calls or emails, and I wound up checking into a room, too upset to even masturbate.

When he finally got back to me the next day, it was to berate me. “If you are truly serious about being my whore, you have to forget about what you want, and focus on what I tell you. If you’re not interested, you can go off and find someone who’ll put up with your bullshit, but I won’t.” He didn’t need to tell me that he already had a wife, that I was merely his plaything, albeit one who was very good at sucking his cock. I knew that was my ace in the hole but he sounded convincing enough that I wasn’t sure if the line I’d crossed was truly irreversible. I vowed to myself to rededicate myself to him, writing WHORE over and over in my journal, scrawling it across my inner arm, staring at the word on my skin long enough to let it seep into my mind before I washed it off.

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Friday, June 18, 2010

New York Times bestselling author Jillian Lauren (Some Girls: My Life in a Harem) reads July 15th at Media Sex Night

My interview with Some Girls author Jillian Lauren will be up soon, and I'm SO honored she is now joining us July 15th for Media Sex Night. There are only 6 more In The Flesh readings left and this ultra-packed with superstars lineup is one you don't want to miss! Note early start time.

In The Flesh postcards arrive soon. Want one? Email rachelkramerbussel at gmail.com with "ITF postcard" in subject line and your mailing address (US only). These are the last In The Flesh postcards ever (cleaning my apartment I've found umpteen incarnations of them) and cover July-December 2010. Anything you can do to spread the word to those who might like this fun, free, cupcake-filled event would be greatly appreciated. Last night was very sparsely attended and while the readers were excellent, I want to go out with a bang.


In The Flesh logo by Molly Crabapple

There is no RSVP requirement, but if you'd like to RSVP and/or spread the word on Facebook, click here for the Media Sex Night event listing. See also the In The Flesh Reading Series fan page on Facebook. Note early start time.

IN THE FLESH EROTIC READING SERIES
MEDIA SEX NIGHT
July 15, 2010, 7:30 pm - 10 pm
AT HAPPY ENDING LOUNGE, 302 BROOME STREET, NYC
(B/D to Grand, J/M/Z to Bowery, F to Delancey or F/V to 2nd Avenue, http://www.happyendinglounge.com)
Between Forsyth & Eldridge. Look for the hot pink awning that says "XIE HE Health Club."
Admission: Free
Happy Ending Lounge: 212-334-9676
http://www.inthefleshreadingseries.com


Media superstars invade In The Flesh. Featuring Kevin Allison (The State, RISK show), Penny Arcade (Bitch! Dyke! Faghag! Whore!), Twanna A. Hines (FunkyBrownChick.com), Jillian Lauren (New York Times bestselling author of Some Girls: My Life in a Harem), Paulie & Pauline (Off The Set), Jerry Portwood (New York Press), and reading plus performance from Jo Weldon (The Burlesque Handbook). Hosted by Rachel Kramer Bussel (Fast Girls, Please, Sir, Please, Ma’am). Sponsored by New York Press. 100 free copies of Sexis Magazine will be distributed. Free Baked by Melissa cupcakes, candy and chips will be served. This is the countdown to the final In The Flesh December 16th so don't miss a very special night!

In the Flesh is a monthly reading series hosted at the appropriately named
Happy Ending Lounge, and features the country's best erotic writers sharing stories to get you hot and bothered, hosted and curated by acclaimed erotic writer and editor Rachel Kramer Bussel. The series was named Best Reading Series by New York Press in 2009. From erotic poetry to down and dirty smut, these authors get naked on the page and will make you lust after them and their words. Since its debut in October 2005, In the Flesh has featured such authors as Mike Albo, Laura Antoniou, Mo Beasley, Susie Bright, Lily Burana, Jessica Cutler, Mike Daisey, Stephen Elliott, Valerie Frankel, Polly Frost, Gael Greene, Andy Horwitz, Debra Hyde, Maxim Jakubowski, Emily Scarlet Kramer of CAKE, Josh Kilmer-Purcell, Edith Layton, Logan Levkoff, Suzanne Portnoy, Julie Powell, Sofia Quintero, M.J. Rose, Lauren Sanders, Danyel Smith, Grant Stoddard, Cecilia Tan, Carol Taylor, Dana Vachon, Veronica Vera, Susan Wright, Zane and many others. The series has gotten press attention from the New York Times’s UrbanEye, Escape (Hong Kong), Flavorpill, The L Magazine, New York Magazine, NBC New York, New York Post, New York Observer, Philadelphia City Paper, Time Out New York, Flavorwire, Fork in the Road, Gawker, Gothamist, Jezebel.com, Nerve.com, Serious Eats, Tasting Table and Wonkette, and has been praised by Dr. Ruth.

Kevin Allison is a member of the legendary sketch comedy troupe The State, whose series on MTV in the mid-90s was influential for many of today's comics. He is the creator and host of RISK!, a popular live show and audio podcast where people tell true tales they never thought they'd dare to share. The live show won the ECNY Award for Best Variety Show in New York of 2009 and the podcast version of RISK! has been downloaded nearly 700,000 times now. Kevin's recent film and TV appearances include Reno 911!: Miami, The Ten, Wedding Daze, VH1’s Best Week Ever, Comedy Central’s Viva Variety and Stella, and HBO’s Flight of the Conchords. Behind the scenes, Kevin has written for Blue Man Group Productions and JibJab. In the print world, Kevin’s writing has appeared in The Village Voice, Giant, Premiere and Film Journal. He has served as the Artistic Director of The Peoples Improv Theater in New York and teaches comedy writing there, at New York University, at The Philly Improv Theater and online at www.filmlab.ca. He can be reached at Kevin at risk-show.com .



Penny Arcade aka Susana Ventura is an internationally acclaimed and respected performance, theater, video artist, as well as a writer, poet, essayist, and cultural icon. She is one of the few performance artists to gain international renown in the mainstream entertainment world. Bad Reputation [Semiotext(e)] is the first book about Penny Arcade and her work.


photo by Jasmine Hirst

Rachel Kramer Bussel is an author, editor, blogger and reading series host. She is Senior Editor at Penthouse Variations and a former sex columnist for The Village Voice. She’s edited over 30 anthologies, including the kink-themed Spanked, Bottoms Up, Yes, Sir, Yes, Ma'am, He's on Top, She's on Top, Rubber Sex as well as Fast Girls, Orgasmic, Peep Show, The Mile High Club: Plane Sex Stories, Do Not Disturb: Hotel Sex Stories, Tasting Him, Tasting Her, and the non-fiction Best Sex Writing series. Her books won 3 2009 Independent Publisher Awards. Her writing been published in publications such as Clean Sheets, Cosmopolitan, The Daily Beast, Fresh Yarn, Huffington Post, Mediabistro, Newsday, New York Post, San Francisco Chronicle, Tango, The Village Voice, and Time Out New York, and in over 100 anthologies, including Best American Erotica 2004 and 2006. Rachel conducts nationwide readings and erotic writing workshops. She has hosted In The Flesh since October 2005.
www.rachelkramerbussel.com


photo by Anya Garrett

Twanna A. Hines is a sex, dating and relationships writer. She has written for Huffington Post, Lifetime, Nerve, New York Press, Fast Company and others. She has appeared on CNN, NPR, Sirius Satellite Radio as well as CBC, and she has been quoted in the Village Voice, New York magazine, Gawker Media, The San Francisco Chronicle,
EbonyJet, The Baltimore Sun, Vibe and elsewhere. AOL recognized her award-winning site, FUNKY BROWN CHICK®. She attended New York University and other schools. Her B.S. and M.A. degrees are in sociology. Having lived in London, Chicago, Amsterdam, Los Angeles and The Hague, she speaks English and Dutch fluently as well as conversational French. She enjoys passionate love affairs with faraway lands and intelligent men. Get down with the funky brown! ™
www.funkybrownchick.com



Jillian Lauren’s is the author of the memoir Some Girls: My Life in a Harem, Plume 2010. She has an MFA from Antioch University and her writing has appeared in The New York Times, Vanity Fair, Flaunt Magazine and Opium Magazine, among others. She lives in Los Angeles with her husband and son. Her novel, Pretty, is scheduled to be released from Plume in Spring 2011.
www.jillianlauren.com



Paulie & Pauline seek out candid moments in the human experience with a curiosity that is heavily influenced by their backgrounds in journalism and sociology. Mostly, though, their photos reflect their voyeuristic fascination with people and their stories. Photos from Off the Set: Porn Stars and Their Partners have been published in print and online, appeared in several group exhibitions of fine-art photography, and are included in the permanent collections at the Museum of Sex in New York City and the art gallery at the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender, and Reproduction.
www.paulieandpauline.com

Jerry Portwood is the editor-in-chief of New York Press. He is also the founding editor of CityArts, an arts-only newsweekly focused on arts and culture in NYC. His short fiction and essays have appeared in regional and international publications. He keeps saying he's working on a book.



Jo Weldon is the Headmistress and Founder of the New York School of Burlesque. Internationally renowned as burlesque personality Jo Boobs, she's rounded her heels on stages from Coney Island to Las Vegas. She's the winner of such exotic titles as Best Bump N Grinder, Best Teacher and Mentor, and Biggest Cougar in Burlesque! She has worked with performers from Leonard Cohen to Spinal Tap, and has been featured on television shows from CBS Sunday Morning to Gossip Girl. Her book, The Burlesque Handbook: A Backstage Guide, featuring a foreword by Margaret Cho, was released by HarperCollins/ItBooks in June 2010.
www.schoolofburlesque.com



You will hear from the following books:


Some Girls: My Life in a Harem
by Jillian Lauren


The Burlesque Handbook
by Jo Weldon


Off The Set: Porn Stars and Their Partners
by Paulie & Pauline

(see Madison Young reading from Off the Set at In The Flesh here)

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Porno bingo cohosting

I loved getting to crank the bingo machine, fondle the balls and call out bingo numbers at Porno Bingo at Pieces on Wednesday. I didn't love barely having a voice and being sick (still don't love it).

Here's me with host Will Clark, who read at In The Flesh last night from his gay stripper diaries and wore a "Team Fire Crotch" t-shirt, and porn star Bryan Slater. Porno bingo is every Wednesday from 8-10 and lots of fun. This was to benefit Metro Wrestlers and there were lots of scantily clad men around.

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Thursday, June 17, 2010

Free chocolate, chips, cupcakes, cock ring and vibrator giveaway tonight at GLBT Night, In The Flesh Reading Series

Free barbecue potato chips, regular potato chips, several kinds of tortilla chips, meringues, oatmeal chocolate chip cookies, chocolate-covered espresso beans, mini chocolate peanut butter cups, chocolate-covered pretzels, mini Hershey’s chocolates and mini cupcakes in addition to everything below!

In addition to free copies of SexIs Magazine for all attendees and a $50 sex toy gift card giveaway from EdenFantasys, the following c-ring and vibrator are also being given away courtesy of EdenFantasys. All this plus free cupcakes, chips, cookies, chocolate & more! Don't miss June 17th.






In The Flesh logo by Molly Crabapple

There is no RSVP requirement, but if you'd like to RSVP and/or spread the word on Facebook, click here for the GLBT Erotica event listing. See also the In The Flesh Reading Series fan page on Facebook.

IN THE FLESH EROTIC READING SERIES
GLBT EROTICA NIGHT
June 17, 2010, 8 pm - 10 pm
AT HAPPY ENDING LOUNGE, 302 BROOME STREET, NYC
(B/D to Grand, J/M/Z to Bowery, F to Delancey or F/V to 2nd Avenue, http://www.happyendinglounge.com)
Between Forsyth & Eldridge. Look for the hot pink awning that says "XIE HE Health Club."
Admission: Free
Happy Ending Lounge: 212-334-9676
http://www.inthefleshreadingseries.com


In The Flesh goes gay for you! Our annual GLBT Erotica Night is back. Featuring Porno Bingo host and former porn star Will Clark, novelist Dario Dalla Lasta (The Three Red Lines), performer Cas Marino, PANIC! reading series host Charlie Vázquez and Girl Crush: Women's Erotic Fantasies contributors Annabeth Leong and Julia Peters. Hosted by Rachel Kramer Bussel (Editor, Peep Show, Bottoms Up). 100 free copies of Sexis Magazine will be distributed. Free cupcakes by Kumquat Cupcakery and chips, cookies and candy will be served.

In the Flesh is a monthly reading series hosted at the appropriately named
Happy Ending Lounge, and features the country's best erotic writers sharing stories to get you hot and bothered, hosted and curated by acclaimed erotic writer and editor Rachel Kramer Bussel. The series was named Best Reading Series by New York Press in 2009. From erotic poetry to down and dirty smut, these authors get naked on the page and will make you lust after them and their words. Since its debut in October 2005, In the Flesh has featured such authors as Mike Albo, Laura Antoniou, Mo Beasley, Susie Bright, Lily Burana, Jessica Cutler, Mike Daisey, Stephen Elliott, Valerie Frankel, Polly Frost, Gael Greene, Andy Horwitz, Debra Hyde, Maxim Jakubowski, Emily Scarlet Kramer of CAKE, Josh Kilmer-Purcell, Edith Layton, Logan Levkoff, Suzanne Portnoy, Julie Powell, Sofia Quintero, M.J. Rose, Lauren Sanders, Danyel Smith, Grant Stoddard, Cecilia Tan, Carol Taylor, Dana Vachon, Veronica Vera, Susan Wright, Zane and many others. The series has gotten press attention from the New York Times’s UrbanEye, Escape (Hong Kong), Flavorpill, The L Magazine, New York Magazine, NBC New York, New York Post, New York Observer, Philadelphia City Paper, Time Out New York, Flavorwire, Fork in the Road, Gawker, Gothamist, Jezebel.com, Nerve.com, Serious Eats, Tasting Table and Wonkette, and has been praised by Dr. Ruth.


Rachel Kramer Bussel is an author, editor, blogger and reading series host. She is Senior Editor at Penthouse Variations and a former sex columnist for The Village Voice. She’s edited over 30 anthologies, including the kink-themed Spanked, Bottoms Up, Yes, Sir, Yes, Ma'am, He's on Top, She's on Top, Rubber Sex as well as Peep Show, The Mile High Club: Plane Sex Stories, Do Not Disturb: Hotel Sex Stories, Tasting Him, Tasting Her, and the non-fiction Best Sex Writing series. Her books won 3 2009 Independent Publisher Awards. Her writing been published in publications such as Clean Sheets, Cosmopolitan, The Daily Beast, Fresh Yarn, Huffington Post, Mediabistro, Newsday, New York Post, San Francisco Chronicle, Tango, The Village Voice, and Time Out New York, and in over 100 anthologies, including Best American Erotica 2004 and 2006. Rachel conducts nationwide readings and erotic writing workshops. She has hosted In The Flesh since October 2005.
www.rachelkramerbussel.com


photo by Anya Garrett

Will Clark, a Wisconsin native but diehard New Yorker since the early 90s, has been entertaining for the past 20 years, first as an actor, after having earned a Masters degree from Northwestern University, and then in adult films (1995 – 1999, 2003, 48 films) and stripper at clubs around the country (1996 – 2005, 2007) then touring with his own one man show “Altered Ego” (2002 – 2005, New York, Chicago,
Provincetown, New Orleans). Since 1997, he’s worked non-stop as an MC and producer at over a thousand events featuring LGBT celebs raising money for LGBT non profits. Currently, he can be seen at his weekly “Porno Bingo” event in NYC at Pieces. This spring, he returned to his acting roots and was featured in the off Broadway smash, “When Joey Married Bobby” at the Roy Arias Theatre. You can read his blog at
www.willclarkworld.com.



Dario Dalla Lasta is a graduate of Pepperdine University and Pepperdine University School of Law in Malibu, CA (he just wants you to know he’s well-educated and once frolicked on such star-drenched sands). On the roller coaster ride of his life so far, he’s been a lawyer, a divorcee, a music industry pundit, an actor, a go-go boy, and a fetish model. For the past five years, he’s been hitting the queer scene as DJ Dario Speedwagon, spinning “cock rock and pussy pop” throughout Brooklyn and NYC. Dario resides in Williamsburg with his boyfriend Michael Bailey and their adorable dog Chavez. The Three Red Lines is his first novel, but he’s completed a second one entitled The Force of Destiny and is currently begging publishers to read the damn thing.



Annabeth Leong's erotica has appeared on the Oysters and Chocolate website and in several anthologies, including Girl Crush from Cleis Press and Coming Together: As One. Visit her blog at http://annabethleong.blogspot.com/ or follow her on Twitter at http://twitter.com/AnnabethLeong.

Cas Marino is an actor, singer, writer, producer and artist living and playing in New York City. He's best known for his stage work in the NYC International Fringe Festival, acclaimed revivals of "Torch Song Trilogy" and "La Cage Aux Folles", as well as cabaret and independent theater performances in and around the city. His film work can be seen in the upcoming independent shorts, "Honey" and "Tu & Eu" due out soon. Now having added Celebrity Blogger to his curricula vitae with his regular contributions to Phrolix.com, Cas is the self-proclaimed "voice of the socio-sexual intelligentsia, if not the fashionistas and the glitterati," all for a good hearted glimpse into the thoughts and actions of one man living his life proud, and out loud, in New York City. Cas’ blogs bring that one-on-one camaraderie to his fans as he discusses the adult themes of love, loss, and low-carb living with great frankness and warmth, plenty of adult language and imagery, and above all, great humor. To read Cas’ blogs, visit http://www.phrolix.com/cas-marino.

Julia Peters is the nom de porn of a very nice lady who lives and works in New York City. Her fiction has been published in Playgirl, Girl Crush, The Mammoth Book of Best New Erotica, From Porn to Poetry 2, and others. She has also been published online at Clean Sheets (www.cleansheets.com), where she was a fiction editor. This is her first published work of erotica in quite some time, and she's so happy she's howling at the moon, which would do the wolves who raised her proud.

Charlie Vázquez is a radical Bronx-bred writer of Cuban and Puerto Rican descent. His fiction and essays have been published in anthologies such as Queer and Catholic (Taylor & Francis, 2007) and Best Gay Love Stories: NYC (Alyson, 2006). His writing has also appeared in print and online publications such as The Advocate, Chelsea Clinton News, New York Press and Ganymede Journal. Charlie hosts a monthly reading series called PANIC! (in the East Village), which focuses on original queer fiction and poetry. He will be reading from Contraband tonight, his second novel, which was just published by Rebel Satori Press.



You will be hearing from:


Fast Girls: Erotica for Women


Girl Crush: Women's Erotic Fantasies



The Three Red Lines

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My story "Espionage" to be published in Best Women's Erotica 2011

One of the assignments I give students when I teach erotic writing workshops is to write about something that really happened, but give it a twist. I like to tell them to take a sexual experience that wasn’t so great and turn it into something that, in fiction, is everything you had hoped it would be. That is the beauty of fiction, or erotica, to me, anyway. Some people prefer completely fictional stories, to get way outside themselves, and at times, I’m like that too. In the aftermath of my breakup I had to write about a gay couple and I lent that story an outrageousness I didn’t feel in my personal life.

So anyway, I took my own advice and wrote a story called “Espionage” that I am beyond honored to have published in the December anthology Best Women’s Erotica 2011 edited by Violet Blue (Cleis Press). I’m proud in part because I know Violet receives hundreds of submissions every year and only chooses the cream of the crop, but I’m also proud because it’s a somewhat dark story. I wrote it in the second person because for me, to have written it in the first person wouldn’t have been cathartic; it would’ve destroyed me. I find it challenging when writing in the first person about something that is at least partly autobiographical to not gloss over details; I was there, I know what I looked like or was thinking, but the reader has no clue. So in order to go outside of myself, which is kindof what I felt like in that situation, I used second person. Through that lens, it was much easier to have compassion on myself, or rather, the me-like character in my story.

This wasn’t a story I’d ever say I “wanted” to write, but one that clawed at me, that I needed to write to put that experience behind me. The event the fictional story commemorates is the culmination of a relationship and that shows. What I love about that process is that through writing it, I worked through a lot of things. All those emotions that are maybe “too mean” or that make me feel uncomfortable, I could throw into the guise of fiction and turn them into a blender until I barely know what’s true and what’s not, and furthermore, that doesn’t matter. There is no such thing as “truth,” anyway, not really, not when it comes to emotions and relationships. There are experiences and feelings but I would never presume to say my take on any one relationship is “true” or not. Anyone involved could write or create art out of any human interaction and that, to me, is the biggest, most telling lesson of all. I sometimes get so mired in “my version” that I forget that a whole other world exists outside, in this case, the pain of it. I could be angry at myself for indulging my worst emotions, for letting myself get caught up in something I never should have, or I could just make peace with it.

I’m proud that it works as a story, as something that, in those several thousands words, takes my tale of being an “Anaïs Nin emissary” and makes it into something that others can appreciate and enjoy. The “you” in the story is no longer me, if it ever was. It’s “you,” some fictional girl. I can’t share more right now, but I will leave you with this teaser from the first paragraph that I hope will make you rush right out and order it (or put it on your wishlist):

“You tuck your new pink and black coat, the one purchased earlier in the day just for this special evening, around your body, pull it tight like it’s cold out, except you’re indoors and the fire is roaring. You are cold, but it’s the kind of cold that can’t be heated by rubbing two sticks together or turning up the thermostat, the kind of cold that can only be vanquished once your heart catches up. Your heart is cautiously icy, watching and waiting; it isn’t safe to let it melt just yet.”

I think I’ll read it at the very last In The Flesh on December 16th. You can read it in Best Women’s Erotica 2011, out in early December, available now for pre-order.

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Wednesday, June 16, 2010

"My Domme Side" - new Secrets of a Sex Writer column at SexIs Magazine

My latest Secrets of a Sex Writer column at SexIs Magazine (free print copies tomorrow night at In The Flesh!) is called "My Domme Side."



Planning our kinky date was also a good reminder to me that being a top can be challenging but also extremely rewarding. I wouldn’t say it comes naturally to me, but accessing the side of myself that enjoys seeing someone else squirm, beg and relish my control arouses me and gives me a confidence I don’t always have.

It’s more challenging, in some ways, than being a sub, in my experience. When I’m in a submissive role with a partner, my job is to do what they say. Get on my knees, be quiet, not wear panties? Done, done and done. But when I’m the one in charge of planning and figuring out what I want someone else to do for me, it’s tricky. First, I have to recognize that I’m never going to be the really mean domme who just enjoys tormenting someone for the hell of it. I like tormenting someone because—though they might cry out in pain—deep down I know they like it.

I would much rather praise someone for being good, for following my commands, then punish them for being bad. Maybe that’s ironic because when I’m the bottom, I like both being the bratty bad girl who doesn’t know how to listen and needs to be reprimanded and being told how good I am.


Read the whole column.

Previous Secrets of a Sex Writer columns:

Girl Crushes, Bisexuality and Bi-Curiousness (which I realized later should probably read "Bi-curiosity")

My "Trendy" Post-Breakup Celibacy (obviously that whole celibacy thing didn't work out for me)

"Are Your Breasts Real?" and Other Questions Not to Ask a Sex Writer

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cause secretly I'm timid

The other night at trivia there was a question that went something like this 1977 musical, which was later turned into a movie, featured Franklin Delano Roosevelt as a character. We guessed Evita, and I wanted to throw out Annie, and I did, to one teammate, but was too…nervous, I guess, to throw it out to everyone. Maybe it felt too “girlie” and then I talked myself out of it, like Evita was a real person, that makes more sense, etc. Not even sure why I thought of Annie other than that I watched it while babysitting last year and that seemed the right era. So when we found out that was the answer I felt really dumb, especially cause earlier I’d thrown out a guess that we’d used and it was right. I need to get better about speaking up but, yeah, I’m kindof like Liz Phair (see post title):

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Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Cuddling and other fetishes

I’m a little under the weather, due to what I think is a combination of allergies and general rundownness. It started yesterday and I have an allergist appointment on Monday but until then, am using my inhaler and trying to be calm. This does relate to dating, I promise. I was getting up this morning and commented that I wished I could stay in bed. No, I wasn’t talking to myself, but to the friend (with benefits, I guess?) whose apartment I’d slept at. And yet I stopped myself from really indulging that thought because that’s pretty much where the limit of friends with benefits is.

It’s not that we don’t talk or aren’t genuinely friends, but staying in bed all day with someone is a relationship thing. I’m doing quite well in the getting over my ex department; I even go whole days without thinking about him and when I do, if there’s wistfulness, it’s more of a general sort, and that was true this morning. The Meatball Shop now reminds me of the many friends I've taken there, and not just the time we went there and sat next to Josh Hartnett. I remembered this day I spent 24 hours with him, much of it sleeping in his bed because I was tired and a bit under the weather and we had a very easy, simple, fun, mellow day. I was impressed we could spend that much time together and not get in each other’s way.

I’m not really agitated about the whole being single thing. I did join a dating site last week, in part because I’m curious, in part to see if maybe lightning would strike and I’d meet some fabulous soul, but really, I like my independence. I have so many deadlines and work, both professional and on myself and my home, to get done that I doubt I could truly be a great girlfriend right now. But that doesn’t mean I don’t miss things like spending a day doing nothing with someone else, just because.

And that’s not really something I think I could find on a dating site, whether it’s okcupid or Fetlife or any other. I’m not saying I don’t believe in online dating, because I know it has worked for a lot of people I know, but the chemistry part, which I think is pretty random, isn’t something I feel like would work on a checklist.

Maybe I’m just grouchy because I’m sick, and had meant to spend my lunch hour reading my hotly anticipated copy of Tori Spelling’s new book Uncharted Territori on the elliptical machine and instead just sat at my desk with my head foggy. So apparently there is a group called Cuddle Sluts on FetLife and it has 4,097 members. That fascinates me but…even though I’ve been to cuddle parties (and they make an appearance in my novel), again, I feel like that’s something I have to work up to with someone. And it’s a very tricky line for me when I’m not officially dating anyone. I don’t want to be super detached to the point that I can’t enjoy myself but I don’t want to go the other route and be overly attached, which is what happened in my last relationship. So far, so good, I think, as long as I have my immune system to prop me up.

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Monday, June 14, 2010

New calls for submissions: Obsessed: Erotic Romance for Women and Women in Lust

New calls for submissions! You heard it here first. Direct any questions to obsessedantho at gmail.co or womeninlust at gmail.com - I'm working on a post about how submissions to my anthologies work, but I can tell you that waiting until the deadline means you only have, for example, something like 5 slots you're competing for whereas at the beginning there are 20-25 open slots. I work as I go so when I find quality stories, I keep them, which sometime means I have to reject pieces not because they're bad, but because thematically they're too similar to a story I already have.

Also: if you are waiting to hear back about The Big Book of Quickies, please be patient. I'll get back to everyone by October, or whenever I hear back from Cleis Press on the final manuscript. They get final approval and I don't want to tell anyone anything prior to that. If you haven't heard back about another book, please let me know and I'll respond ASAP. I should have the lineup for December's Best Bondage Erotica 2011 finalized soon. I promise you it's gonna be hot.

Obsessed: Erotic Romance for Women
To be published by Cleis Press in Spring 2011

Editor Rachel Kramer Bussel is looking for romantic, primarily heterosexual erotic stories for women's erotica anthology Obsessed: Erotic Romance for Women. Final book will include couples having passionate adventures as well as new relationships. Stories can feature couples exploring new erotic territory, strangers who share a spark, exes ruining, etc. Creativity and diversity of story lines are key. You may include the hero’s point of view alongside the heroine’s but please keep in mind this book is geared toward a female audience. Kink, sex toys, exotic locations/scenarios welcome as long as there is an element of erotic romance as opposed to strictly erotica. Stories should be strongly plotted, have engaging, unique characters and be hot and original. I highly prefer contemporary settings but will consider a limited amount of historical and paranormal fiction. All characters must be over 18; no nonconsensual scenes, incest or bestiality. No poetry. For an example of the kinds of stories I’m looking for, see my anthologies Bedding Down: A Collection of Winter Erotica and Dirty Girls: Erotica for Women or the work of Megan Hart, Lauren Dane, Kayla Perrin, Marilyn Jaye Lewis, etc.

How to submit: Send double spaced Times or Times New Roman 12 point black font Word document with pages numbered (.doc, NOT.docx) OR RTF of 1,500 to 5,000 words. Indent the first line of each paragraph half an inch and double space (regular double spacing, do not add extra lines between paragraphs or do any other irregular spacing). US grammar (double quotation marks around dialogue, etc.) required. Include your legal name (and pseudonym if applicable), mailing address, and 50 word or less bio in the third person to obsessedantho@gmail.com. If you are using a pseudonym, please provide your real name and pseudonym and make it clear which one you'd like to be credited as. Authors may submit up to 2 stories. I will get back to you by February 2011. Publisher has final approval over manuscript.

Rights purchased: Non-exclusive rights.

Payment: $50 and 2 copies of the book on publication.

Deadline: September 15, 2010 (earlier submissions preferred)

Women in Lust
To be published by Cleis Press in 2011

Female (or female-identified) authors only. Editor Rachel Kramer Bussel is looking for hot, sexy stories of women in all sorts of scenarios, covering everything from vanilla to kink, sex in unusual places, with sex toys, threesomes/group sex, making fantasies come true, BDSM. Stories should grab me with the first sentence and not let go. Looking for characters with a range of voices, storytelling tones, diversity of age, race, sexual experience. Book will feature primarily heterosexual stories but will include some lesbian and bisexual stories as well. All characters must be over 18; no nonconsensual scenes, incest or bestiality. No poetry. See Fast Girls: Erotica for Women for an idea of the types of stories I prefer.

Deadline: November 1, 2010 (earlier submissions preferred)

How to submit: Send double spaced Times or Times New Roman 12 point black font Word document with pages numbered (.doc, NOT.docx) OR RTF of 1,500 to 5,000 words. Indent the first line of each paragraph half an inch and double space (regular double spacing, do not add extra lines between paragraphs or do any other irregular spacing). US grammar (double quotation marks around dialogue, etc.) required. Include your legal name (and pseudonym if applicable), mailing address, and 50 word or less bio in the third person to womeninlust@gmail.com. If you are using a pseudonym, please provide your real name and pseudonym and make it clear which one you'd like to be credited as. Authors may submit up to 2 stories. I will get back to you by April 2011. Publisher has final approval over manuscript.

Rights purchased: Non-exclusive rights.

Payment: $50 and 2 copies of the book on publication.

About the editor: Rachel Kramer Bussel (http://www.rachelkramerbussel.com) is the editor of over 30 anthologies, including Fast Girls, Please, Sir, Please Ma’am, Bottoms Up, Spanked, The Mile High Club, Do Not Disturb, He’s on Top, She’s on Top, Tasting Him, Tasting Her, Crossdressing, Dirty Girls, and is Best Sex Writing Series Editor. She is Senior Editor at Penthouse Variations, a sex columnist for SexisMagazine.com and has hosted and curated In The Flesh Reading Series in New York since October 2005. Her writing has been published in over 100 anthologies, including Susie Bright’s X: The Erotic Treasury, Best American Erotica 2004 and 2006, and Zane’s Purple Pantiesv and the New York Times bestseller Succulent: Chocolate Flava II. She has written for Cosmopolitan, The Daily Beast, Fresh Yarn, Mediabistro, Newsday, New York Post, Penthouse, Time Out New York, Zink and other publications.

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10 author websites I like (for Jenn Pozner)

Recently, Jenn Pozner, author of the forthcoming Seal Press book reality Bites Back: The Troubling Truth About Guilty Pleasure TV, asked on Twitter for author site recommendations. This is a very practice what I don't preach post because my website is obviously a mess and though we try to keep it updated, there's so many other more pressing things to work on. But as a reader, I visit author sites all the time to find out what's new and learn more abou tthem.

This has been delayed shamefully long so I won't elaborate at the moment but here are some author sites I like:

Hollis Gillespie - everything you need to know right up front.

The Feminista Files by Feminista author Erica Kennedy - this is a blog, but each post relates back to her novel, and there are also excerpts, reviews, press and more information.

Anna David - there used to be this great virtual magazine rack at the front of Anna's site, but it is still a good site and has all the relevant contact info and links to her various writing and other work up front and easy to find.

Dynamist.com by Virginia Postrel - the author of The Substance of Style and The Future and Its Enemies puts all her relevant info, along with her photo, right up front so you can go exactly where you want to. For the blog of her work in progress, Deep Glamour (with @deepglamour Twitter feed running on the side), see deepglamour.net.

Diana Joseph has excerpts from her memoir I'm Sorry You Feel That Way, purchasing and blog links and brands her cover throughout.

hitbyafarm.com and compassionatecarnivore.com" - these could go below, because the author, Catherine Friend, also has her website, but I think it's clear both book sites are much more engaging than her personal site.

Jessica Valenti - I really like the design of this site.

Portia da Costa - as an editor publishing some of Portia da Costa's work (in my forthcoming Passion anthology), I can say that I so appreciate her very speedy updating and am not only in awe of her prolific output, but that each book, whether her own or anthologies she's in, gets its own easy to navigate info.

Ally Carter - I like that all the book covers are there, with easily clickable info, as well as her blog and tour links, plus MySpace and Twitter.

Tera Lynn Childs - clean, pretty design that works well with book covers, prominent links for more information, excerpts and next year's book teasers.

A few book-specific sites that do a good job of providing behind the scenes details and more information. I hate when I try to find even a basic description and am just sent to Amazon. That's lazy and doesn't make me interested, plus what about readers who've already read the book but want more info?

Behind the Bedroom Door edited by Paula Derrow - a blog about the anthology's topic, author bios and excerpts from the book.

Three Wishes is a joint memoir written by three women. This site, using Ning, has photos of all three women's children, media updates, blogs and more.

Viral Loop by Adam L. Pennenberg, fittingly, has a widget and iPhone app and much more. Good press links and easy to follow.

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Wednesday, June 09, 2010

Fast Girls: Erotica for Women is here!

My copies of Fast Girls: Erotica for Women arrived today and my lovely Twitter Amazon.com reviewers have already got theirs whizzing away via USPS. Follow @raquelita for free book giveaways every time one is out, in this case, write fastgirlsantho at gmail.com with your US mailing address and Amazon.com profile - you must review it within a month of receipt. Or just buy it, I promise it's worth it. Offer good til all my copies are gone. How could it not be with such a superstar lineup? I'm so honored that Tristan Taormino let me reprint a favorite of hers, "Winter, Summer," especially because she published my first ever erotica story "Monica and Me" in Best Lesbian Erotica 2001.

Fast Girls is the first of four women's erotica anthologies I've edited for Cleis Press (coming up: Orgasmic, Smooth and Passion).

Proof the book exists:





Fast Girls: Erotica for Women is edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel.



Pre-order Fast Girls: Erotica for Women from:



Amazon.com



Bn.com



Borders



Powell's



IndieBound



Cleis Press

Table of Contents

Introduction: Fast Is a (Sexy) State of Mind (see below)

Temptation Kayla Perrin
Waxing Eloquent Donna George Storey
Five-Minute Porn Star Jacqueline Applebee
Winter, Summer Tristan Taormino
Playing the Market Angela Caperton
Panther Suzanne V. Slate
Communal Saskia Walker
Fireworks Lolita Lopez
Flash! Andrea Dale
Waiting for Beethoven Susie Hara
Confessions of a Kinky Shopaholic Jennifer Peters
Let’s Dance D. L. King
That Girl Cherry Bomb
Oz Isabelle Gray
Married Life Charlotte Stein
Princess Elizabeth Coldwell
Chasing Danger Kristina Wright
Whore Complex Rachel Kramer Bussel
Lessons, Slow and Painful Tess Danesi
Speed Bumps Tenille Brown


Introduction: Fast Is a (Sexy) State of Mind

I like the fast girls best/they do whatever they wanna do. —Sarge, “Fast Girls”

I named this book after a song called “Fast Girls” by an indie pop/rock band called Sarge*. That song is a feisty, punk-rock ode to a hot girl who is captivating in all kinds of ways.

I’m sure you know a girl like that. Or a woman. Or a lady. Or a butch. Or a femme. Or…you get the idea. She’s the kind of babe who takes no prisoners, who owns her life and her sexuality and not only doesn’t apologize for them, makes sure you notice her and what she’s all about.

Two definitions of “fast,” according to Merriam-Webster are “wild” or “sexually promiscuous,” and while that is the seed of what I was angling for here, I didn’t just want to read about slut after slut after slut. I wanted to read about women who in some way defy the conventional norms-whatever those are in this day and age. That doesn’t mean being shocking for shock’s sake, but following their passion, seeking out what it is that they need to be truly pleasured.

What I love about these fast girls is that even as they are bold, daring and dynamic, they have a thing or two to learn about sex and themselves.

Consider Susie Hara’s fifty-one-year-old protagonist in “Waiting for Beethoven” as she gets it on with a younger man. In current pop culture terms, she’s the cougar, the aggressive older woman seeking her sexy prey. But she is actually nervous and uncertain, as well as aroused. “And now there was no point in telling him she wasn’t going to come when she could already feel a wave of pleasure rolling inside her, kind of a pre-coming feeling, but different than usual; she couldn’t really tell what was her clit and what were the walls inside her and what was contracting and what was releasing and then she realized she must be coming because her body had taken over and been taken over in this luscious finger symphony so she just gave in,” writes Hara, in a description of female orgasm that I think will be familiar to many.

In this book, fast is as much a state of mind as a state of motion. It’s not about trying to slut it up to impress anyone, but about finding what works for you. I was intrigued to find that playing with prostitution, or whoring, came up as a theme in many submissions, as did threesomes with one woman and two men. It makes sense that fast would be associated with women who mix cash and sex, as happens in Angela Caperton’s “Playing the Market,” where the new economy mixes with the world’s oldest profession. In my “Whore Complex,” whoredom is more a state of mind, a go-to fantasy that leaps from the bounds of dirty talk to real life with some unusual consequences. There’s also exhibitionism, such as in Jacqueline Applebee’s “Five-Minute Porn Star,” and submission--there’s a lot of very hot female submission and BDSM play in this book.

These girls are fast when they want to be…and slow at other times. They want to crack their lovers’ secret codes, find out what makes them tick, as happens in Charlotte Stein’s “Married Life.” I like this story because the wife is not just passively accepting her humdrum sex life, but she doesn’t want to have an affair or get a divorce. She wants her husband, the man she loves, but she wants him openly, honestly, freely and when they both give a little of themselves and bravely bare their souls, they find true happiness.

These girls don’t give it up for just anyone. Even the ones who get around have a reason for choosing their lovers, and it’s those reasons, those images, that resonate with me. Here’s Tristan Taormino in “Winter, Summer,” rhapsodizing about the woman she’s about to seduce (or perhaps, who’s about to seduce her is more accurate):

She’s the boy I have dreamed about and jerked off to too many times to count. The one who won’t leave my fantasies, who cruises me in my bedroom, who seduced me months ago in another lifetime with her voice, who plays pool and drinks beer, who grabs my ass in crowded bars just to fuck with my boundaries and catch me off guard, who makes my brain get wet and my pussy explode.

Exactly. Though there are women on the prowl here, women who go after younger men, women who pounce, women who pursue, there are others who are excited about being the object of another’s affection, lust and desire. For them, being fast means courting the man or woman (or more than one person) they are searching for.

These fast girls speak to me on many levels. I admire them, respect them, marvel at them, raise my eyebrows at them, want them. But most of all, I’m excited that they’ve broken free of whatever messages we all receive about how a woman is “supposed” to act and instead they are bent on acting however they damn well please. And that’s my personal definition of a fast, not to mention foxy, girl.

Rachel Kramer Bussel
New York City

* To hear more of Sarge, click here.

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My story "I Spy" in German is "Ich sehe was"

Last year I made my Black Lace debut, something I'd been working toward my entire 10-year erotica career. This week I got in the mail the German translation of their anthology The Affair. Turns out the German translation of my title "I Spy" is "Ich sehe was." Now please put out good energy/thoughts for me to get one of my anthologies translated! There are 30-something out there now and I think this latest crop of female erotica should have wide appeal. By my count, the book that just arrived (in stores any second), Fast Girls: Erotica for Women, is my 32nd print anthology. Woo-hoo! My fingers are officially crossed.



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