Email: rachelkramerbussel at gmail.com



 

Lusty Lady

BLOG OF RACHEL KRAMER BUSSEL
Watch my first and favorite book trailer for Spanked: Red-Cheeked Erotica. Get Spanked in print and ebook

Saturday, September 30, 2006

Too fat to strip at the Lusty Lady?

"Lusty Lady Loses Its Innocence," San Francisco Bay Guardian

But the next chapter in the Lusty Lady saga is the strangely twisted tale of how a small faction of male workers is trying to decertify the union against a backdrop of inflammatory e-mails, emotional outbursts, suspensions, and firings, along with competing allegations from dancers of sexual harassment and unfair labor practices.

It all started when one of the men began to argue that the place was losing money because the dancers were too fat...

Cerri claimed that the Lusty's madams were hiring "unwatchable girls" — women who were too big and not quite sexy enough — and that as a result, the club lost money.

"People comes [sic] asking for refunds, because they do not want to see girls that they would not want to have sex with even if they were completely drunk," Cerri wrote.

"This is reality, not question of options. We sell fantasies, not nightmares."

Cerri's missive so outraged dancer Emma Peep that she posted a copy on a message board where all the dancers could read it.

As Peep explained to the Guardian, "Davide's e-mail was against everything we stand for, and it's against the law to hire and fire based on size discrimination."

Friday, September 29, 2006

Cheap flights from Oakland to Burbank?

Does anyone know a good airline for cheap flights from Oakland to Burbank? Or I could do Oakland to LAX. I booked a roundtrip to Oakland just to get it over with, I'll be gone October 28th to November 5th and in LA for the first few days visiting my family, eating cupcakes, and hanging out. I SO can't wait to be on vacation. And San Franciscans, don't forget the November 4th Caught Looking reading - see left-hand side of this blog.

Last chance to fuck shit up, have good times, "fight for cock"



"So there's this gay heavy metal band," GirlyNYC said to me several years ago. Little did I know that those words would set off a veritable orgy of impending fandom, in which we would go on to cheer on the very, very, very gay Pink Steel at countless shows, which including throwing my bra at them at an infamous BUST party, interviewing them for Gay City News, and their performance at my 30th birthday party.

They've provided so much fun, I can't imagine New York without them. You can listen to such gems as "Sausage Party" and "Open Wide for Pride" at their MySpace page. And come wish them a very gay, loud, cock-y farewell!



1) PINK STEEL’S LAST SHOW IN NYC – OCTOBER 6

We are blowing you, I mean, it out in style for our last NYC show. Yes, we said last show.
Please SAVE THE DATE for October 6th at 11:00 pm for us to rock you one last time, New York. This show will also mark the premiere/final performance of newly minted PinkSteel bassist Klaus Shave.

Be sure to bring your love down to:

Sin-e
150 Attorney St @ Stanton
NYC
212.388.0077
Sin-e

Please do come to this show so we may say goodbye to each of you lovely fans that have been so good to us, for so long. We intend to rock you so hard we will all be walking funny for days to come.

As always, be there or Bea Arthur.

2) OUT AT THE DEVIL, THE PINK STEEL ALBUM RELEASE

We are putting the finishing touches on our album even now. Out at the Devil will rock you hard and keep you warm in our absence.

Out at the Devil will drop soon and features the following tracks:

Sausage Party
We Fight for Cock
Converter
Legend of the Frodonator
More 2 Love
Cockfight
Johnny are you Queer?
I’m Comin Out (all over you)

All these tracks, in addition to a few other tasty surprises await you on this anticipated release. Out At the Devil will be available for download and purchase very soon.

How to make me cry

Play me Mila Drumke's cover of Kate Bush's "Under the Ivy"

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Tristan Taormino in Page Six

Tristan Taormino's in Page Six today asking her uncle, author Thomas Pynchon, to show up at the release party for her new porn flick Chemistry.

(They don't write out the full title of House of Ass, which I promise to watch before next week's party, FINALLY.)

There are details about the free party next Thursday here. Of course I'll be there, especially considering what happened after her last porn release party. Though no hooking up for me at this one, I'm saving that for my California trip.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Rave review: Em & Lo's Sex Toy

Em & Lo's Sex Toy

Em & Lo's Sex Toy

I should really say that the fact that I read an entire sex book speaks well of this book. So many pass through my mailbox that I'm much more likely to read a YA novel, mystery, or memoir than a sex book, especially when they just serve to remind me what I'm missing. But this book inspired me to go out and get myself a Wahl plug-in vibrator and I have to say, so far, so good! Pretty much silent, especially compared to the Hitachi Magic Wand. I also just got Violet Blue's The Adventurous Couple's Guide to Sex Toys which I plan to read soon, too, but since I'm not (yet) part of an adventurous couple, I will have to file the info away.

And my review...

I thought I knew a lot about sex toys before I started reading this book (who knew there were anal beads called “Grapes of Writhe?”), and was expecting to be mildly amused and entertained but nothing more. Little did I know that Em and Lo have truly scoured the market and are ready to give their uncensored opinions about toys, stores, materials and websites. In a fun, linked encyclopedia format (any words that are also their own entries are colored blue), they take you from acrylic to Zzzzzzzzz with a whole lot in between. Using a few key, quality sex toys stores as their basis for referrals, they then dive right in and give their take on what these toys are for, who might enjoy them, how they can be used, and what to do/not to do with them.

A sense of humor is at the heart of this book, even though they’re also imparting very useful information at the same time. “The vagina is like the perfect studio apartment⎯there’s a whole lot more room in there than you think,” they write. Never afraid to laugh at themselves, they admit to having left a silicone dildo boiling on the stove while running out only to find it welded to the pan. Whoops! It’s delightful little disclosures like these that make their tone so conversational and let you know they really have tested the products they’re talking about. Take their entry on strap-ons (which are also covered elsewhere): “When a woman fucks her straight boyfriend up the butt with a strap-on, it’s called disrupting the cosmic order, and it’s a very good thing.”

You’ll also read about the toxic chemicals phthalates on what feels like every other page; they warn you about any toy that does or might contain them, and recommend alternatives. They’re quick to discourage you from trying anything that might be dangerous like desensitizing penis and anal creams, but give you plenty of options for sex toy fun. The political message here is sly but there for the careful reader: “Normal sex is a concept that exists only in the minds of right-wing extremists.”

With helpful drawings, safety tips, and extensive detail about pricing, brand names, and the purpose of a myriad of toys, they truly cover the ins and outs of sex toys, lube, caring and shopping for toys, using household items, and even critiquing sex toy websites for ease of navigation and price range. They don’t just tell you to buy silicone toys, they tell you why you might want to (and why you might not), offering health, comfort, and environmental reasons to consider the materials that go into your toys. But best of all, they present an easy-to-read and use guide for you to find out about that toy you’ve always wondered about (the Dr. Ruth-endorsed Eroscillator anyone?) and ones you’ve probably never even imaged (Flexi Felix, a set of anal beads in the shape of a cat). As I was reading, I was taking mental notes on which toys I want to check out next time I’m at my local sex toy shop, since there’s clearly a whole wide world out there beyond the Hitachi Magic Wand (oh, they also discuss companies like Hitachi and Wahl who make these “back massagers” so popular with the ladies). From face harnesses to the Feeldoe, rubber ducky vibes to remote control toys and, my personal favorite (paddles), Em & Lo really break down what you need to know and give insight into the products as well as the people and companies (and laws) behind them. Highly recommended!

HOT book news

I read with Rachel Shukert at KGB a little while ago and she stole the show! Congratulations, Rachel.

Playwright and performer Rachel Shukert's HAVE YOU NO SHAME?, a collection of humorous autobiographical essays about the awkwardness of growing up a misplaced Jewish girl in the midwest and then, having found a flair for the dramatic and rising to the highest echelon of community theater stardom, coming starry-eyed to New York City only to shamefully discover that her new friends' favorite comedic movie, the mockumentary "Waiting for Guffman," is a rather earnest depiction of her life back in Omaha, to Adam Korn at Villard, by Rebecca Friedman at Sterling Lord Literistic.

Tomorrow night: Sexy burlesque ladies and my dirty stories

Viva Variety!


We're introducing a brand new show for RHB...all variety.
You'll still get your burlyq (promise!) but the show also offers sideshow stunts, magic, poetry, musical talent, drag acts, comedy and just about anything you can think of!
Join us on Sept 28th
Sexy Musical Stylings of OLD MA FEMME,
Magical Wonders of STUART PALM
Holahoop tricks by, HOWLIN' VIC
Reading by the Village Voice's Own, RACHEL KRAMER BUSSEL
Go-Go By BLACKIE DEUCE and AMELIA DANGER
And
Dottie Lux
All hosted by your fabulous MC SCOTTY THE BLUE BUNNY
The Details:
Galapagos Art Space, 70 North 6th Street, Williamsburg BKLYN
Show starts at 10pm sharp!
$5 for the first 25 people
$10 Regular Price
Raffle Prizes, Drinking Contests, Interactive Entertainment for hours!

Mediabistro Pitching an Agent interview with Kristin Nelson

Mediabistro Pitching an Agent interview with blogging super agent Kristin Nelson - I think agent blogging is totally the wave of the future and I read them voraciously, they're just so fascinating especially if you're an author and have little clue how the actual process works. Sometime soon I will post my take on "How to Be a Publishing Geek" about my total dorkiness at the Galleycat party.

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Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Tuesday

Still having one of those weeks, but just taking everything one breath at a time and keeping my mind on California when things get too stressful.

Some happy spots though, super awesome books arrived in the mail today, including Nikol Lohr's Naughty Needles. I'm covering it for my Voice column and all I will say for know is she has instructions on how to knit a whip and a ball gag!

I also ran into comedian Poppi Kramer (aka "Best Impersonation of Star Jones as a Chicken") at Whole Foods and almost didn't recognize her! She's a contestant on The Biggest Loser and you can check out her profile and watch episodes on their site. She looked fabulous, and is as funny as ever. You can also add her as your MySpace friend and keep up with her comedy and weight loss there.

Tonight I get to take care of my favorite baby and then play Boggle and then try to tackle the ever-expanding to-do list. Randomly, a writer for Italian GQ contacted me. It would be totally awesome if my name made it in there because my mom is living in Italy - it's for an article on sex-positive feminism too! So maybe my crazy erratic week is evening out. I did manage to spill my salad all over the place and almost drop my rent money orders in Duane Reade, so don't worry, I'm still as clumsy, klutzy, and forgetful as ever.

Congratulations again to Audacia Ray

Audacia announced this a few weeks ago, but I like the official officialness of Publishers Marketplace:

Sex writer and online porn entrepreneur Audacia Ray's NAKED ON THE INTERNET: Hookups, Downloads, and Cashing in on Internet Sexploration, about women using the internet to explore their sexualities and identities, exploring topics such as hooking up, sex blogging, the nature of online sexual intimacy, and sexual entrepreneurship on the internet, to Brooke Warner at Seal Press (World).

Photo from In The Flesh and October lineup


_DSC3824
Originally uploaded by brianvan.
And more photos from last week's awesome In The Flesh, including one of Nicole Beland's props.

All taken by the photographer of the hour, Brian Van

IN THE FLESH EROTIC READING SERIES
WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 18 at 8 PM
AT HAPPY ENDING LOUNGE, 302 BROOME STREET, NYC
(B/D to Grand, J/M/Z to Bowery, F to Delancey, http://www.happyendinglounge.com)
Admission: Free
Happy Ending Lounge: 212-334-9676
http://inthefleshreadingseries.blogspot.com

In The Flesh gets literary in October with racy words from short story writer Jami Attenberg (Instant Love), spoken word impresario Mo Beasley and members of his dirty-word powerhouse UrbanErotika, playright Christen Clifford (Baby Love, 17 Guys I Fucked), novelist Marcy Dermansky (Twins), San Francisco-based author Stephen Elliott (My Girlfriend Comes to the City and Beats Me Up, Happy Baby), and erotica writer P.F. Kozak (Passions, Sins and Secrets), along with host Rachel Kramer Bussel (Caught Looking: Erotic Tales of Voyeurs and Exhibitionists; Naughty Spanking Stories from A to Z 1 and 2). Copies of the authors' books will be given away, and free candy and mini cupcakes will be served.

In the Flesh is a monthly reading series hosted at the appropriately named Happy Ending Lounge, and features the city's best erotic writers sharing stories to get you hot and bothered, hosted and curated by Village Voice sex columnist and acclaimed erotic writer and editor Rachel Kramer Bussel. From erotic poetry to down and dirty smut, these authors get naked on the page and will make you lust after them and their words. Future themed nights include Revenge of the Sex Columnists (September), comic sex (November) and erotic memoirs. Since its debut in October 2005, In the Flesh has featured such authors as Andy Horwitz, Jessica Cutler, Polly Frost, Maxim Jakubowski, Emily Scarlet Kramer of CAKE, Edith Layton, M.J. Rose, Lauren Sanders, Danyel Smith, Cecilia Tan, Carol Taylor, and many others. The series has gotten press attention from Escape (Hong Kong), The L Magazine, New York Magazine, Gothamist, Nerve.com and Wonkette.

Jami Attenberg has written about sex, technology, design, graphic novels, books, television, and urban life for Salon, Print, Nylon, the San Francisco Chronicle, and others. Her fiction has been published by Pindeldyboz, Nerve, Spork, and Bullfight Review. Her debut collection of stories, Instant Love, was published by Crown/Shaye Areheart Books in June 2006. A novel, The Kept Man, will be published by Riverhead Books in 2007.
www.jamiattenberg.com

Mo Beasley is a performance poet and Producing Director of UrbanErotika. Affectionately known as The Head Coach of Erotica, founded and hosts New York' s longest running monthly erotic showcase: UrbanErotika. Since 2001, UE has featured the passions of all cultures and lifestyles united to express true eros through spoken word, poetry, music, & dance.
www.thelovestorm.com

Rachel Kramer Bussel is a New York City-based author and editor. She is Senior Editor at Penthouse Variations and a Contributing Editor and columnist for Penthouse, writes the Lusty Lady column for The Village Voice, and conducts interviews for Gothamist.com and Mediabistro.com. Her erotic stories have appeared in over 60 anthologies, including Best American Erotica 2004 and 2006, and she's edited her own collections, including Naughty Spanking Stories from A to Z 1 and 2, Up All Night, First-Timers, Glamour Girls, and the forthcoming Ultimate Undies, Sexiest Soles, Secret Slaves, and Caught Looking: Erotic Tales of Voyeurs and Exhibitionists. Rachel has also written for AVN, Bust, Metro, New York Post, Punk Planet, Time Out New York and Velvetpark.
www.rachelkramerbussel.com

Christen Clifford's most recent solo show, BabyLove, had its world premiere at the Mesto Zensk Festival in Ljubljana, Slovenia in 2005. It has also been produced in New York at Center Stage New York as part of Terra Nova Collective's 3rd Solo Arts Festival, at The Hudson Guild Theatre, and at 2006 San Francisco Fringe Festival and will be seen in late October 2006 in Toronto. Actor: most recently the title role in The Woman Before, directed by Daniel Fish in New York. Clifford is an MFA Candidate in Creative Non-Fiction at The New School.
www.christenclifford.com

Marcy Dermansky's first novel Twins, a 2005 New York Times Editor's Choice pick, will be released in paperback this October from HarperCollins. A MacDowell Fellow, Marcy is the winner of the 2002 Smallmouth Press Andre Dubus Novella Award and the 1999 Story Magazine Carson McCullers short story prize. Her short stories have appeared in numerous literary journals, including McSweeneys, The Alaska Quarterly Review, and The Indiana Review. She reviews independent and foreign film for about About.com. Marcy is not an identical twin.
www.marcydermansky.com

Stephen Elliott is the author of six books including Happy Baby and My Girlfriend Comes To The City And Beats Me Up. His writing has also appeared in The New York Times, Esquire, The Village Voice, Best American Erotica, Best Sex Writing, Best Non-Required Reading, among others.
www.stephenelliott.com

P. F. Kozak has had a unique perspective on sexuality since she discovered playing doctor, long before puberty. Once her hormones blended with her imagination, exotic erotic fantasies were born, and stories filled her head. With the publication of her first two books, Passion and Sins and Secrets, being a writer is no longer a castle in the sky.
www.pfkozak.com

Breasts, breasts, breasts

Cunning Minx of Polyamory Weekly has created a Boobiesexual t-shirt at her Cafepress store:



See my "Meet the Boobiesexuals" column for more info.

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"Sharing the Perfect Cock" from Caught Looking

To pique your interest in my hot new book Caught Looking (which will be on sale at the October 18th In The Flesh and which some of us will be reading from Saturday, November 4th at 2 pm at the Polk Street Good Vibrations in San Francisco), I'll be posting excerpts from some of the stories.

Here's the start of my story, "Sharing the Perfect Cock," (fiction, but of course):

My boyfriend, Kyle, has the perfect cock. Really—if there were cock models, the way there are hand and feet models, I bet he’d be making a fortune off his pecker. It’s tall and poised and beautiful, sleek and strong, with light brown hairs curling at the base, as if a proud statue were rising from a vineyard. The first time I saw it I almost wept, but I resisted—and quickly got down on my knees. I’ve worshipped his dick, literally, since day (or rather, night) one and am just as smitten with the member as the man even ten years down the road. Don’t worry, he’s equally as enthralled with my pussy, and together we’ve had countless sexual adventures. But lately, I’ve come to the conclusion that his package really is too perfect not to share. I mean, what kind of selfish, spoiled brat would I be if I kept such a gorgeous cock all to myself?

Okay, you’ve got me. I’m the consummate selfish, spoiled brat, and I want to share his dick because I want to watch. I’ve been going wild picturing another girl’s lips wrapped around that luscious fat head, her saliva dripping down his dick as she opens wide and takes him inside while he looks on proudly, brushing her hair from her face. I want to see everything I don’t get to see when I’m lying on my stomach, ass in the air, taking a pounding from him as his cock smoothly dives inside me, my G-spot rushing toward him, my hips undulating beneath him, my body his for the taking; everything I don’t get to see when his cock’s all the way down my throat and I’m in blow-job heaven. Just thinking about his cock makes me horny, but usually I have it buried inside me, somewhere, swelling to fit my entire mouth, cunt or ass, his hard length leaving me little room to think or look, I must simply feel him grinding against my sensitive flesh until he rings me dry—or, wet.

I haven’t told him yet, but I’ve been on a mission, a hunt. Every hot girl who passes my way, whether it’s the waitress at our local vegetarian joint, with her long braided pigtails and ripped denim skirt and camouflage shirt that just hints at the curves underneath, or my boss’s slamming secretary who I swear could make a killing as a stripper.


Read the rest in:

Caught Looking: Erotic Tales of Voyeurs and Exhibitionists

Caught Looking: Erotic Tales of Voyeurs and Exhibitionists

Monday, September 25, 2006

Naughty Words

Stay tuned this week to Naughty Words where I'm in some very esteemed company talking about editing anthologies. I'm very curious to hear what everyone else had to say. One of the questions I was asked is when I knew I had "arrived." And honestly, that's a constantly evolving thing. Never, really, because I think once you think that, or once I were to think that, I'd stop. I'd have nothing to work towards or strive to achieve. Though I have to say signing with Bantam comes pretty close, and is starting to feel more real, but I felt the exact same way when I got my job and when I started my column for the Voice. Anyway, the Q&As will be running this week with me, Hanne Blank, Susie Bright and Jewel Scott/Marsha Rogers.

Also, any day now I will be able to make another awesome announcement that I'm really excited about, just waiting for the official officialness so I don't jinx myself. And since I am heading into the home stretch with all the other spring anthologies (She's on Top, He's on Top, Second Skin, Sex and Candy) and look forward to being done copyediting every single one, I'm eager to start a new anthology (or two or there, since it is me, after all, and despite my earlier stressed out post, done right, I love editing anthologies. Or, at least, I love it when they're done and all neat and shiny and pretty. In the meantime, I have a few smutty stories of my own hammering away at my brain begging me to actually commit them to my computer screen.)

Losing it

For a while there, every Friday night I managed to lose something - a shoe, a sweater, whatever. It got to the point that I expected it. Lately, though, it's gotten worse. I don't forget my keys or glasses, and I worked out a system for the Metrocard, but everything else . . . forget about it, it's gone. I try to make these systems to organize and remember and I still look like a hunchback hobbling along in the least attractive way. I do now balance the two bags but even so, there's those moments of sheer panic where I sometimes want to curl up on the floor of wherever I am - the subway, the street, the Williamsburg bridge - and just cry. It's not just the crap I'm carting around, the actual things that seem so important individually but taken en masse feel so ridiculously unnecessary, I could burn it for all I care, it's what it represents. I'm a mess, deep inside, and outside, apparently. I feel like I sortof muddle through the days and act like I'm managing and sometimes even am managing but am always waiting for disaster to strike, even now with so many good things happening all around me. And I want to pare down but it's so hard. When I'm forced to, I can, when things go missing or misplaced accidentally or ruined, I can part with them. But otherwise, it's my security blanket, my way to know that I'll be okay.

And let's not even talk about my mind. I've taken to bypassing the to do list and delving into full-on denial. I try to be fully present, and this weekend I was, trekking all over the city because I live on the "we hate you, you fucking losers" train that's never running, and it was actually kindof fun until last night when it took two hours to get back from watching Weeds and I was too tired to figure out which trains were running and which weren't. But it's not traveling that's making me forget every detail I need to remember. It's me. I know it, and I'm working on it. I know I need a vacation and yet part of me is petrified to take one. While I'm dipping my feet into a pool in Sherman Oaks and hugging my aunt and getting to spend time with the one person I know at this point who can, at least temporarily, maybe, kiss me and make it all better, I feel like I'll be missing out on something essential and yet if I stay, I know I'll lack a real vacation. I think it's just all coming to a head, and I'm still getting over the cold I managed to give myself in the stress of the book deal-ing. Old habits die very, very hard and since I was a teenager I've always waited till beyond the last minute, and, well, it always worked, so it's hard to stop that and force myself away from whatever indulgence I'm partaking in to, oh my goodness, write?? What? Why do that now when you can do it later? But then I realize that there IS NO LATER. There is only now and while there are plenty of board games and comedy shows and whatever else going on, I'm the only one who really cares whether I get off my lazy ass and send something to an anthology or whatever. I'm trying to sortof hold on to the last shreds of memory and responsibility I have. Sometimes I think all I'm good for is bringing people cupcakes and presents and smiles, and you know what? If that's true, I'll do it proudly. I love that, and it's so simple, and it made this weekend a lot of fun to just be with people who I could talk to all day or night.

But I guess when I'm not feeling like I can't do whatever the ever-changing "it" is, I feel like I want to BUT... There is always some simple excuse I have and I manage to make my fuckups somehow make sense, but really they don't. So I'm trying not so much to make amends as to be present and do/remember as much as I can and figure out how to keep myself on track and not overcommit and not freak out and not make things bigger than they are. Better to turn in something crappy than nothing at all, which I've learned the hard way from sheer inertia when I hit a wall and just walked in the other direction because I couldn't face the seemingly impossible.

I have this card up with a Lewis Carroll quote from Alice in Wonderland (which again reminds me of things I haven't done, like read the copy I bought when I was reading Rejuvenile, which I also put down, "and you know what I fool I am/with my short attention span" as Billy Bragg's "Ontario Quebec and Me" goes):

Alice laughed, "There's no use trying," she said, "one can't believe impossible things."

"I daresay you haven't had much practice," said the Queen. "When I was your age, I always did it for half-an-hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast."


I know I'll get through it, or I won't, and I know I need to if I ever want to dig myself out of debt and into some kind of real life where I'm free from all that, but sometimes in the midst of it I just want to give up. It would be so much easier and I sometimes can't see the harm in it, and then I realize that I'd feel so dead inside to have nothing to do, nothing to work on, nothing to keep me going. I guess the irony is that instead of that feeling like a dream come true it too often feels like hell. "Face It," indeed.

Also my long-winded way of saying if I can't answer email or phone calls or just make really dumb mistakes of late, it's cause my brain is not really working right lately. I am just happy if I can figure out what day it is and where I'm supposed to go at night. Maybe it's time to think about leaving New York, or maybe I just need some downtime and a major change of scenery. My one saving grace has been walking, although I bought these awful Nike sneakers I'm probably gonna have to get rid of. They felt fine in the store but after a few miles just killed the back of my ankle and had the opposite effect I'd intended; my walking felt heavier and more difficult in them, like I was clomping along in snow boots or something. $100 for a week's worth of use and my feet are in so much pain that I dug up my old Skechers and they work fine. I'm gonna try the New Balance store and it's a lesson to me that I really didn't need new sneakers in the first place. But my point is that this walking kick I've been on is really saving me from a complete and total meltdown. So now it's just mini meltdown time as I try to power through the next few weeks before I get to escape to sun and pools and cupcakes and cuteness.

Sluts and manwhores article - need interviewees

I'm writing an article for Penthouse Forum about sluts and manwhores, and whether there's a stigma for women or men (focusing on straight people or possibly bi) to be sluts or manwhores, respectively. I'd like to hear about:

whether you judge potential sex partners/dates based on their sexual history, and if so, "how many" is too many
whether you worry about being judged by your sexual past
does hearing someone is a "slut" or "manwhore" (or whatever your male equivalent of the slut is) predispose you to have a certain view of them?
have your ideas about what's "slutty" behavior changed over time?
what "makes" someone a slut (male or female)? is it the number of partners or what they do with them or when they do it?

Along those lines. You can be anonymous, email is best but I can also do phone interviews at limited times evenings this week. My deadline is this weekend so I'll be wrapping it up this week. Feel free to forward, and you can write to me at rachelkb at gmail.com - as much detail as you can give (especially if there's a specific story about someone calling you a slut or manwhore or "getting a reputation" or vice versa, you realizing you think someone is a "slut"). The article's looking at whether there is a stigma to being a male or fame "slut" (in men's case, "manwhore") and whether the consquences are different for men or women (again, talking about straight men and women here). Thank you!

More Sugasms

The best of the sex blogs this week by the bloggers who blog them. Featuring the top 3 posts voted by Sugasmer participants. Want in Sugasm #48? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the linklist within a week and you’re all set.


This Week’s Picks

Lazy Sunday (http://www.chillivanilla.com)

“I flick my thumb across your clit, as if I were lighting a match, which, in many ways I am.”


The Secret (http://confessions112.blogspot.com)

“I came back to the bed and started to lavish kisses on him, savoring the inches of skin on him that I knew were mine and mine alone.”


You’re all I want (http://theholidaylife.blogspot.com)

“Go to the couch. Bend over. For me.”


Mr. Sugasm Himself

How to Cure Female Ejaculation (http://sugarbank.com)


Editors’ Choice

Fetish, Fashion and The War On Terror (http://adelehaze.com)


More Sugasm

Join the Sugasm


(Sugasm participants should re-post all the links above. The following links may be excluded as long as you include all the above links.)


BDSM and Fetish

Double Penetration (Fangs & Cock) (http://la-day.blogspot.com)

How was that goal John? (http://gentlygently.blogspot.com)

Hurt Me, Please (http://everythingoze.blogspot.com)

Isabella’s Eyes - Part VIII (http://nyc-urban-gypsy.blogspot.com)

Morning quickie (http://darkside-journey.blogspot.com)

The weekender #4: The beginnings of our lifestyle (http://seanandmel.blogspot.com)


NSFW Pics

Asian 1 on 1 (http://www.internetisforporn.com)

Myspace Christine Dolce Nude (http://www.thesexbox.com)


Erotic Writing and Experiences

At a bar in a strange city (http://erotischism.blogspot.com)

Be Sure to Tip Your Waitress (http://sabrinainstockings.com)

I *not only* write porn, but I also just do it. (http://eternalapprentice.blogsome.com)

Insatiable (http://talktovanessa.com)

Just for the taste of her (part two)…and breakfast
(http://dirtydetails.blogspot.com)

Last Night (http://mandyseroticlife.blogspot.com)

Mr Henry writes debauched dialogue (http://junohenry.wordpress.com)

The Rain (Part I) (http://grlnxtdoortx2.blogspot.com)

Sexwars (http://dirtyandthirty.blogspot.com)

A visit (http://edtimestories.blogspot.com)

You Can’t Come To My Room Tonight (http://makemycopcome.blogspot.com)


Sex News and Sexy Reviews

Fat Man In A Barrel (http://www.orgasmarmy.com)

Meet the Sperm Testers (http://www.TaraTainton.com)

Product Review - Head Candy (http://shayssexcolumn.blogspot.com)

Sex and Booze (http://www.seskuality.com)

Sex Toys For Vacations (http://sultry.naughtyblog.net)

Straight Porn Review: Squirts So Good (http://blog.johnqafterhours.com)


Thoughts on Sex and Relationships

Ewww, your parents had sex? (http://www.realadultsex.com)

Fucking To Heal (http://fuckingtheministersdaughter.blogspot.com)

Half-Nekkid and Tending to Nature (http://www.TarasNaughtyShop.com)

I’ve Been Outed…. AND I’m Back….. (http://totalsensuality.blogspot.com)

No Rumors (http://femmefataleteen.blogspot.com)

The origins of the cane (http://www.spankingwriters.com/blog)

Screaming Orgasm- it’s not just a drink at the bar (http://ellabeecoquette.blogspot.com)

Sex and cupcakes (http://lustylady.blogspot.com)

A Sexual Theory (http://www.seska4lovers.com)

Snip-Snip, Quack-Quack-Quack (http://virtual-sex-tourist.com)

Where I’m coming from (http://principalquattrano.com/blog)

Why do I masturbate? (http://wanklog.blogspot.com)

She's on Top cover


She's on Top cover
Originally uploaded by rkb1.
I love this cover so much! I love her shoes and his smile and how the image just perfectly captures what the book's all about. The stories are SO, SO kinky and sexy and perfect, I really will just have to will myself not to think about it until February when it'll be in stores cause I can't wait for people to read this one. Cleis puts out such beautiful books and really went ove the top (ha ha!) with these covers.

Cover of She's on Top: Erotic Stories of Female Dominance and Male Submission (companion volume to He's on Top, both coming out from Cleis Press in February 2007)

Here's the table of contents:

She's on Top: Erotic Stories of Female Dominance and Male Submission
Edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel

Introduction: The Perfect Power Trip by Rachel Kramer Bussel

Suit and Tie by Donna George Storey
By a Firm Hand by Debra Hyde
The Mistress Meets Her Match by Kristina Wright
Waiting for Me by MinaRose
The Inner Vixen by Saskia Walker
Victoria's Hand by Lisette Ashton
Mark of Ownership by Teresa Noelle Roberts
Pinch by Tara Alton
His Just Rewards by Rachel Kramer Bussel
Why Can't I Be You? By Alison Tyler
Room 2201 by N.T. Morley
Working Late by Andrea Dale
Ottoman Empress by Noelle Keely
City Lights by Kathleen Bradean
Feeder by Adelaide Clark
Penelope the Punisher by Stan Kent
Shades of Red by Lisabet Sarai
The Queening Chair by Kate Dominic

He's on Top cover, coming in February

Will have the TOC for this one soon (like, as soon as I actually finish the book, though am almost done). These two are gonna be SO sizzling hot (and also the perfect kinky Valentine's Day gift), I can't even tell you (but I will in 2007 when I'll be posting short excerpts from each here).

He's on Top: Erotic Stories of Male Dominance and Female Submission (companion volume to She's on Top), coming out in February from Cleis Press

In unsurprising publishing news...

Apparently, Assholes Finish First was too risque for Publishers Marketplace. And I would've been shocked if he'd sold the book to anyone else.

Blogger Tucker Max's second book, A**HOLES FINISH FIRST, following Jeremie Ruby-Strauss to Simon Spotlight Entertainment, for publication in January 2008

Update: There is a little twist on this. The reason no agent's name is listed is because there wasn't an agent to take a $45,000 cut (according to Max, this deal was for $300,000). This is from Publishers Weekly:

Jeremie Ruby-Strauss at Simon Spotlight has acquired world rights to blogger Tucker Max's next book, A**holes Finish First; the deal was made directly with the author. This will be a collection of new stories about Max's debauched adventures; his first book, I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell, has sold more than 70,000 copies. The book is currently scheduled for publication in January 2008.

See also: "Publishers say few hits on blog books," Boston Herald

Tucker Max, the rare successful blogger turned author of “I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell” (tucker max.com), is a bit more, um, direct.
“These bloggers aren’t good writers and they really don’t get a lot of traffic if you really look at the numbers,” he said. “They had a blog, people liked reading the blog, then they wrote stuff people don’t want to read. Who cares what Jessica Cutler’s novel is about? People liked reading she had sex with senators who paid her (money).


(This strikes me as rather amusing; I would think Max and Cutler would be allies in the whole First-Amendment-right-to-blog-about-who-you-fuck solidarity sense. Personally, I don't understand how Steinbuch can win his case if Max won his. Maybe they're not 100% analogous, but close enough to my civilian brain.)

Friday, September 22, 2006

Most adorable book nominee

I found yet another absolutely irresistible book by Karen Katz that I bought for my baby cousin and one other baby, not sure who will get it yet. I am so into these books I had to write Karen Katz a fan letter and told her that my cousin likes to ear her books. On Amazon, it looks cute but the actual book is all shiny and glittery and pretty. The black part of the outfit has gold glitter and the pumpkin is super sparkly, and there are bats and a ghost and candy apples inside. Impregnate me, please! (Joking, kinda) I was invited to trick or treat with the little smush but sadly I will be in California on Halloween. Next year for sure!

Where is Baby's Pumpkin?

Where is Baby's Pumpkin?

Sex & Coffee anthology


Sex & Coffee anthology
Originally uploaded by rkb1.
Coming out in early 2007 from Pretty Things Press with my story "The First Sip"

Why I'm proud to be part of the sex writing community

Viviane's sex columnist roundup

Was going to save this for when I'm less tired but here goes, tying in to this feeling I've been having lately of being so grateful for living in New York and being surrounded by such talented, funny, supportive, amazing communities of people, from writing to comedy to sex to cupcakes. They're all distinct but have all welcomed me in and I'm so grateful for those connections, and the new friends I've been making. Cause when life seems to be kicking my ass and telling me to get out of town, these people are there to remind me that I can make it through. I'm so proud to be part of that community and to know all of those people - well, Savage I don't know, but I have interviewed him. Just looking over that list made me realize what a great group I'm part of. Okay, maybe some of this now: how do I know these people? The only reason I know any of them is because I reached out to them. Well, Cory reached out to me. But mostly, I dropped them a line. I said, pretty much, "Hi, I'm a fan of your work and I think we should be friends, we have a lot in common." I've had Julia, Erin, Miriam and Judy on my reading series, I edit Tristan's newsletter and write for Violet's anthologies. I told Mistress Matisse how right on I thought her post about feminism was. I rarely offer unsolicited advice, but I think that if you read something you like, tell the person who wrote it. I don't always do it, but I try, and it really does make people's day and let them know what you're thinking. Now a lot of people will blog their opinions, and that's great too. I get so much feedback, good and bad, from looking at who's linked to my columns and such. I'm not saying we all have to be friends but I take being part of a sex writing community seriously and one part of that is believing in and making a reality of an actual community, not lone people at their computers tapping away. On one level it's very selfish because I need that, desperately. I don't know what I'd do without people like Miriam or Tristan or Judy to talk about things that only people who do what we do would understand. I don't think you get ahead but shoving other people out of the way in your race to the top. At least for me, I feel far better off with allies across the sex writing world. I'm so proud when I see my friends' books listed on Amazon or at the bookstore. And I get it back in spades; I remember that very first week with the Voice column Ellen called me all excited. She really knows how to make me smile; on Wednesday, I couldn't have been happier to hear her say that she almost didn't read because she was stressed out but had a wonderful time and was glad she came and that her baby likes the toy block I gave her. It's really the little things, but those are big things to me. And I know my friends are just as happy as I am for my success, and the thing is, none of it would feel as good or be worth it in any way if I didn't have them to be proud of too. And yes, that took me a really longwinded way of saying it. Next weekend I get to hang with a bunch of sex bloggers and I'm totally looking forward to it. For now, I'm the chaste workaholic sex blogger, but that's okay. I embrace it and the whole direction my life is going lately, I really do.

It feels a little odd to have everything fall into place as it has, like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop, but thus far, I couldn't be happier. After so many years of writing for free for various websites and publications, of being honored at the chance, to finally get paid what you're worth (that's happened a few other times in my writing career, but not that many) is a revelation and such a huge validation. There was an agent a few years ago who told me big publishers wouldn't be interested in me because I'd already done books with smaller publishers. Ignoring the fact that many authors bounce back and forth between big and small publishers (see Stephen Elliott) or go from small to big (see Lily Burana), at heart it was a discouraging comment, because what could I do? Burn my books? Disavow them? No, not a thing. I knew he was wrong but until now couldn't prove it so to have my books sold at auction, to have people believe in me enough to want a second book based on little more than an idea, meant so much to me. It meant that I need to have faith in myself regardless of what anyone else thinks, good or bad, and stick to my ideas of what I want rather than simply trying to cater to the whims of a very fickle industry.

The fact is, there will always be a "More Orgasms Faster Harder" or "How to Fuck Like a Banshee" book that needs writing. It makes the real and honest sex books, like this memoir I'm reading now by Joan Sewell, I'd Rather Eat Chocolate: Learning to Love My Low Libido, all the more valuable. That agent then tried to get me to work on a book he said I could write "in my sleep." Hmmm...I wonder if he told that to the author who wound up with the project? When I saw that, I realized someone like that would never get me. I don't want to write anything in my sleep. I don't want to take the easy way out, though I won't rule it out - I'm a girl with a mountain of student loans yet to be paid off who wants to start raising kids, the sooner the better. I know I need money and I know I'm terrible with money, so I can't be all high and mighty about it, but even so, I balance things out. I still write for Gothamist sometimes, I'll do things that matter to me, but to get paid a fair wage, to be valued in that way, changes the game. It means I don't have to say yes to every little thing that comes along. I can be a little more selective, hopefully for the better. I don't have to listen to the naysayers. It's a tough balance, I think, for many writers between our naturally self-deprecating style and what you need to succeed. You can't fill out an author questionnaire and hem and haw. You have to put your best self forward, even when inside you cringe and maybe want to give up. Even when you think that maybe those naysayers were right all along. It's why I encourage every author to have a website, to make their presence known. It's not just because the books won't sell themselves, but it's a way for you to own at least that top Google hit, a way to say "this is why I am" (or at least "this is one major part of who I am" or "this is who I am as a writer") before someone else does it for you. And figuring out "who" that is is part of the job of a writer, I think. It is marketing, but instead of seeing that in a negative way, I think there's room for all of us to express our creativity and uniqueness and still succeed. The idea that you have to kowtow to whatever's "hot," well, that might work for some people, but I've found that I can't do it. When I try to write about things that don't interest me, it leads to a blank screen and an almost crippling amount of fear and stress. I just can't do it, so I've stopped trying. But why I love Sugasm and blogs in general is because you get to explore so many individual worlds on their own terms. It's like a million mini soap operas unfolding and I get as sucked in as the next person. And sometimes that's overwhelming, as is bookstore browsing. I'll often OD on browsing or reading about book deals or whatnot and feel even more strongly the need for that sense of community because otherwise it's a snap to feel lost at sea, like you're a drop of water in a huge ocean and while, in a way, you are, I think the trick is finding ways to emphasize what makes you unique but then connect with other unique, talented, awesome people and support each other.

I'm not a saint or anything. I get as jealous and petty as anyone and I don't like those aspects of myself, so running my reading series and paying attention and doing what I can to support my writer friends helps me get over all that and get back to what I should be doing. Which, right now, is wrapping up this looooooong week.

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Sex links roundup

Violet Blue makes her SFGate.com (website of the San Francisco Chronicle) debut with her first Open Source Sex column entitled "Club Kiss for that thoroughly modern vibe"

The press release about Violet's column that manages not to give the column's name

Spike Magazine interviews Girl With a One Track Mind author Abby Lee

You'll never look at Scrabble the same way again (NSFW)

a not techincally X-rated but possibly NSFW photo of Molly Crabapple (if it's going to make you drool, is it SFW?)

Susie Bright interviews Try author Lily Burana (I'm a terrible person and have yet to read it, but soon, really, it's in the mix, I'm a very ADD kind of reader and pick up one book, read a few pages, put it down and start another and I sometimes have to wait until the book speaks to me. Not literally, though if it did, I'd certainly give it highest reading priority)

AVN reveiws Marty Klein's America's War on Sex

Stephen Elliott at The Huffinton Post, "Fearlessness at the Intersection of Sex and Politics

Murray Hill interview at Gothamist

I interviewed the incomparable Murray Hill today at Gothamist. His new show Murray Hill Live at the Sansabelt Room premieres tonight at Mo Pitkin's, so check it out:



Murray Hill can make even the most uptight New Yorker at least offer up a chuckle, if not an all-out belly laugh, with his well-honed ladies' man-about-town sthick. With his jocular, wink-wink style, he's never at a loss for words, whether working a raucous, drunken bingo crowd, prepping audiences for bands like Le Tigre, or hosting burlesque pagaents. Known for his anything-might-happen style, Murray can regularly be found emceeing his way across the city's stages, calling bingo numbers, and performing cabaret-style at venues like the late Fez, Galapagos, and, most recently, Mo Pitkin's. On the heels of The Murray Hill Show, the self-proclaimed "hardest working man in show business" is back to dazzle downtown with his comic crooning in Murray Hill Live at the Sansabelt Room along with sexy sidekick Dirty Martini and accompanied on piano by Lance Cruce. Here, he tells us where to find New York's best cheeseburger, why he loves stage banter, his dream venue, and why freaky New Yorkers should stick around and reclaim downtown.



Can you give me a basic biographical sketch of Murray Hill? When and where was he born? How did he come into being?

I was born in New York City, in the back of a cab on 23rd Street and 3rd Avenue, hence the nickname. I remember hearing the cabbie ask my father, “Is it a boy or a girl?” and he answered “No.” I think I knew right then and there, I was going to be special . . . if you know what I’m saying.



I was born into speakeasies, showgirls, steakhouses, and showbiz. My old man ran a supper club on 52nd street and my mom was a Zeigfeld girl. If I wasn’t at her Minksy’s burlesque show, I was bussing tables at my dad’s clubs. I met all the greats, and cleared their plates too. You name ‘em, I cleared ‘em⎯Dean Martin, Totie Fields, Judy Garland, Joe DiMaggio, Sinatra, Gleason. It was Gleason who was so bombed one night at Minksy’s that he couldn’t do the show, so my mom threw me into the spotlight, literally. I still have a scar on my knee. I went up there at 6, with a full suit, and sang a rousing “BINGO the Farmer” and killed. The rest is history.



Are you Murray 24/7? Can you remember a time before you were Murray?

I would say I’m a bit more 12/6 kinda guy! They don’t call me the “hardest working middle-aged man in showbusiness” for nothing. I love to work, I love the business, I can’t do anything else. I do have some down time every now and then. I went up to Kate Pierson’s of B52s’ Airstream motel in the Catskills this summer to relax with a lady friend. I also play ping pong and poker, and call bingo numbers every Monday night.


Read the whole interview

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Thursday, September 21, 2006

My 50th Lusty Lady column

It seems hard to believe sometimes that I've now written 50 Lusty Lady columns. It seems like just yesterday I got that call. I still remember that so clearly; we were waiting on line to see the premiere of Alfie. My first (and, so far, only) red carpet movie premiere. Surreal meets surreal. But indeed, two years have gone by. Quickly.

Boys' Toys
Cock rings, butt plugs, finger massagers and other guy goodies

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Katie Spades likes Naughty Spanking Stories from A to Z



When I discovered the blog Spanking Katie Spades, I knew I'd found a kindred soul. Katie chronicles her adventures in spanking, and is even going to be on Howard Stern soon (she almost got spanked by Sarah Silverman, which you can read about on her blog. So I sent her a copy of Naughty Spanking Stories from A to Z and sure enough, she really liked it.

For anyone interested in spanking looking to satisfy their curiosity this is certainly the book to do it with. Naughty Spanking Stories from A to Z certainly is a spanking tour de force with stories for any curiosity, appetite, and preference, whether one is just venturing into the spanking world or is a seasoned player.

Thanks, Katie, and as I signed her book, "Many Happy Spankings to You!"

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On my 2007 to read list

From Publishers Marketplace

Laura Esteves's 100 FIRST DATES: 1 Month to Date Every Single Single Guy in NYC, the true story of one twenty-something's attempt to qualify the one guy she has by dating 100 others in one month, to Amanda Lehner at Sterling & Ross, for publication on Valentine's Day 2007 (World English).

Because all white women with brown hair look alike

For the record, I don't think Jessica Valenti and Monica Lewinsky look alike at all. (though I am a fan of each in different ways)


Jessica Valenti


Monica Lewinsky

Mike Daisey's new show

The incomparable Mike Daisey has a new show that looks fabulous. I'm totally going. Tickets are $20 but if his past monologues are anything to go by, it'll be totally worth it. Coincidentally, I picked up his memoir 21 Dog Years: Doing Time at Amazon.com the other day at the library (true confession: I had actually borrowed it before and never read it) and am really enjoying it so I recommend both. Mike just takes storytelling to a whole new level and talks and talks for a really long time and makes it sound so natural and also manages to weave several ideas together at once and keeps referencing them back. It's quite remarkable. Get tickets to TRUTH here.



TRUTH
{the heart is a million little pieces above all things}

A new monologue about James Frey, J.T. LeRoy,
Oprah, lying, and the struggle to tell the truth

Created and Performed by Mike Daisey

Opens October 5 for a Limited Engagement

"A charismatic performer, his shows have the insightful hostility of the best comedy."
--The New Yorker

* * * * * *

New York, NY - Ars Nova (voted "Best of New York" by New York Magazine) proudly presents Mike Daisey in a new monologue entitled TRUTH {the heart is a million little pieces above all things}. Directed by Jean-Michele Gregory, TRUTH plays a limited engagement beginning October 5 at Ars Nova (511 West 54th Street). All tickets are $20.

TRUTH follows the fictional and nonfictional self-destruction A Million Little Pieces author James Frey, the sordid and shocking tale of non-existent, world famous transsexual author J.T. LeRoy, and the mystery of the wildly prolific multiple personalities of Portuguese poet Fernando Pessoa. Mike Daisey investigates the bizarre stories of these literary sensations and by reflecting his findings against his own history of lying and telling the truth this master storyteller illuminates the uncertain landscape of the emotionally true, the literally true, and the constant struggle to speak the truth.

MIKE DAISEY has been called "the master storyteller" and "one of the finest solo performers of his generation" by The New York Times for his monologues, including 21 Dog Years, Great Men of Genius, The Ugly American, Monopoly!, Invincible Summer, I Miss the Cold War, Wasting Your Breath, and Stories From the Atlantic Night Cafe which he's performed Off-Broadway, across the country and around the world. He's been a guest on the Late Show with David Letterman, and his work has been heard on the BBC, NPR, the National Lampoon Radio Hour, and his groundbreaking series All Stories Are Fiction. Currently he's a commentator for National Public Radio's Day To Day, a contributor to WIRED, Slate, Salon, and his writing appears in the anthology The Best Tech Writing 2006. His first book, 21 Dog Years: A Cubedweller's Tale, was published by the Free Press and he is working on a second book, Happiness Is Overrated, a collection of essays dedicated to the proposition its title asserts.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Pornjugation, publishing style

Pornified

Pornified

Pornification

Pornification

Pornology

Pornology

I never thought it would happen to me...

I will post about the fabulous In The Flesh tonight chock full of KICK ASS readers who all did a wonderful job of making the packed-to-the-gills crowd laugh and ponder what's "normal." I saw my agent there and she told me about this listing and then I got home and there it was!

But anyway, it's officially official (though I will also say that there was an auction. an auction! Yes, I'm a geek but I was really excited about that even though it almost gave me a heart attack.), I am going to be a novelist. Twice, in fact. And I couldn't be happier about getting the chance to work with Danielle Perez, who I've been hearing nothing but fabulous things about from various writerly folks, including Susan Shapiro and Lauren Baratz-Logsted.

As someone who rabidly checks Publishers Marketplace every day and tries to keep up with the publishing industry, and someone with what will be 13 published books to my credit come spring, I'm honored to finally be moving into the big time and to take my fiction to a whole new level.

Village Voice Lusty Lady columnist and In The Flesh reading series creator Rachel Kramer Bussel's EVERYTHING BUT.... and EYE CANDY, to Danielle Perez at Bantam Dell, in a nice deal, by L. Perkins Agency (World).

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Because all people of color look alike

"Lines of fact and fiction blurred," Walter Ellis, Belfast Telegraph

Earlier in the year, another fraud unwound in America that encapsulated much that is true about publishing in this country. Kaavya Viswanathan, a 19-year-old Zadie Smith lookalike studying English at Harvard, was given an advance of $$500,000 by Little Brown for her novel, How Opal Mehta Got Kissed, Got Wild and Got a Life.


Kaavya Viswanathan


Zadie Smith

Admittedly, there are some photos where the plagiarist might have more of a "resemblance" with the novelist, but still, what's up with the lazy shorthand way of saying she's a person of color? I just would never look at a photo of Viswanathan and think that. Also, well, Smith is Jamaican and English and Viswanathan is Indian-American. Not that that precludes them from looking alike, but it just seems odd to throw that in like that rather than use another description of her looks (if one's necessary at all).


Zadie Smith

Come to In The Flesh tonight for "Revenge of the Sex Columnists"

I've asked everyone to give some kind of "behind the scenes" of the life of a sex/dating columnist. I will be reading my favorite hate mail I've received! And, as always, there will be free candy, cupcakes, and plenty of book giveaways!

IN THE FLESH EROTIC READING SERIES
REVENGE OF THE SEX COLUMNISTS!
WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 20 at 8 PM
AT HAPPY ENDING LOUNGE, 302 BROOME STREET, NYC
(B/D to Grand, J/M/Z to Bowery, F to Delancey, http://www.happyendinglounge.com)
Admission: Free
Happy Ending Lounge: 212-334-9676
http://inthefleshreadingseries.blogspot.com


Hear your favorite sex columnists tell all—from horror stories to hate mail to come-ons and sexcapades! With Julia Allison (“The Dating Life,” AM NY), Nicole Beland (“Ask the Girl Next Door,” Men’s Health), Erin Bradley (“Miss Information,” Nerve.com), Ellen Friedrichs (Teenwire.com), Greg Gilderman (“The Dating Life,” Metro), Laura Leu (“Sex Diary,” Penthouse), Stephanie Sellars (“Lust Life,” New York Press), and Jamye Waxman (“Sex Ed,” Playgirl), and your host, Rachel Kramer Bussel (“Lusty Lady,” The Village Voice). Books and magazines, as well as candy and mini cupcakes, will be given away.

In the Flesh is a monthly reading series hosted at the appropriately named Happy Ending Lounge, and features the city's best erotic writers sharing stories to get you hot and bothered, hosted and curated by Village Voice sex columnist and acclaimed erotic writer and editor Rachel Kramer Bussel. From erotic poetry to down and dirty smut, these authors get naked on the page and will make you lust after them and their words. Future themed nights include Revenge of the Sex Columnists (September), comic sex (November) and erotic memoirs. Since its debut in October 2005, In the Flesh has featured such authors as Lily Burana, Jessica Cutler, Polly Frost, Andy Horwtiz, Maxim Jakubowski, Emily Scarlet Kramer of CAKE, Edith Layton, M.J. Rose, Lauren Sanders, Danyel Smith, Cecilia Tan, Carol Taylor, and many others. The series has gotten press attention from Escape (Hong Kong), The L Magazine, New York, Gothamist, Nerve.com and Wonkette. This series is not Amanda Stern’s Happy Ending Reading Series.

Rachel Kramer Bussel is a New York City-based author and editor. She is Senior Editor at Penthouse Variations, writes the Lusty Lady column for The Village Voice, and conducts interviews for Gothamist.com and Mediabistro.com. Her erotic stories have appeared in over 60 anthologies, including Best American Erotica 2004 and 2006, and she’s edited her own collections, including Naughty Spanking Stories from A to Z 1 and 2, Up All Night, First-Timers, Glamour Girls, Ultimate Undies, Sexiest Soles, Secret Slaves: Erotic Stories of Bondage, and Caught Looking: Erotic Tales of Voyeurs and Exhibitionists. Rachel has also written for AVN, Bust, Metro, New York Post, Punk Planet, Time Out New York and Velvetpark.
www.rachelkramerbussel.com

Julia Allison is a writer and columnist, best known for her weekly column, “The Dating Life,” in AM New York, a daily Manhattan newspaper that reaches more than 320,000 readers. She got her start as a now clichéd college sex columnist at Georgetown University, but since then she has written for Cosmopolitan, New York, COED, Teen Vogue, Seventeen, Capitol File and Men’s Health, among others. In addition to a regrettable stint on Elimidate, America’s #1 cheesiest dating show, Julia has been featured in The Washington Post, Chicago Tribune, Fox, CNBC, CBS and NPR. She appears regularly on Fox News as an entertainment pundit.
www.juliaallison.com

Nicole Beland, a former Cosmo senior editor, has been the Men's Health Girl Next Door for the past six years and also writes the He Says/She Says sex and relationship column in Women's Health. She's the author of Girl Seeks Bliss: Zen and the Art of Modern Life Maintenance and Sex: The Whole Picture.
www.nicolebeland.com

Erin Bradley is writer living in New York City. Erin is the author of Miss Information, a weekly sex and dating advice column, and Girlgonemad, an online dating blog, both appearing on Nerve.com. Originally from the Midwest, Erin is a graduate of Michigan State University where she earned a degree in Human Resources (don’t worry, she doesn’t know what that means either). When she’s not writing freelance for various entertainment and tech publications, Erin can be found working on her screenplay and watching television documentaries with Creature, her morbidly obese cat.

Ellen Friedrichs is a Brooklyn based sexuality educator. She holds an MA in health and human sexuality education and started her career in sexuality at Manhattan's Museum of Sex. From there she became the behind the scenes expert for Planned Parenthood's teenwire.com website answering hundreds of thousands of sex questions from information starved teens. Currently, she teaches sex education to teens in the South Bronx and human sexuality to biology students at Rutgers University. She also runs sexuality workshops and writes about the subject when she has a chance. These days she also hangs out with her baby. More information about Ellen can be found at her website: www.sexEdvice.com.

Greg Gilderman’s column reaches 800,000 readers in Metro newspapers of Boston, New York, and Philadelphia. He's a contributing writer at Cosmopolitan, and an on-camera advisor for Match.com's new video website. For five years he was the host of the popular late-night cable access talk show "Mr. Greg Live," and his first book, She's the One: What Makes a Woman a Keeper and Other Mysteries of the Male Mind Revealed, will be published by Penguin/Perigee in January 2007.

Laura Leu writes a monthly column for Penthouse called "Sex Diary." She has also written for Maxim, Stuff, Shock, Sync, Riot, Match.com and contributed to the book Naked Ambition: Women Pornographers and How They Are Changing The Sex Industry. As a sex and relationships expert, she has made several TV appearances and does a weekly sex segment on Maxim Sirius Radio. She recently launched a line of underwear, which can be found at www.UnderDares.com.

Stephanie Sellars is a writer, filmmaker, and performer. Her provocative column "Lust Life" appears weekly in New York Press. She also writes features and reviews. Her first film "Twenty Minutes of Immortality" (in which she can be seen in the buff) has been airing regularly on IFC for the past three years. She has sung about town in cabarets and jazz clubs. She has written several screenplays and an autobiographical novel. As Stephanie enjoys channeling dead writers, she co-produces and hosts a reading series of Dorothy Parker material.
www.stephaniesellars.com

Jamye Waxman has been called “the nexxxt generation of sex educator” (Wired.com). With a Masters in sexuality education from Widener University in Pennsylvania. She currently writes three sex columns: "Sex Ed" for Playgirl and two dating and relationship columns for Steppin' Out and The Philly Edge. She is also the co-writer and producer of the latest Candida Royalle feature, "Under the Covers," (Femme Productions) and is currently working on her first book, entitled Women loving Women (Quiver Press, Spring 2007). Jamye also teaches classes on all things sex both privately and for the popular website/social calendar Moxieinthecity.net. Waxman was a producer of the popular Metro TV show Naked New York. She is president of the national organization, Feminists for Free Expression.
www.jamyewaxman.com

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Get Caught Looking now!

I have in my hands a shiny, hot off the press so-pretty-I-could-kiss-it copy of my new anthology Caught Looking: Erotic Tales of Voyeurs and Exhibitionists (co-edited by the awesome Alison Tyler and I can't tell you how I excited I am. It's so beautiful, just based on the cover, fonts, and feel of the pages. Cleis does such an amazing job with their books and I'm honored to be a part of it all. It's my hottest book yet! Update: it's OUT! As in, "in stock" on Amazon, which means you can buy it and have it in your hot little hands in just a few days. Should be in actual bookstores any day now too. I've pasted our introductions and the TOC below. In my (of course totally biased) opinion, Stan Kent's story "My Finest Hour" alone is worth the price of the book.

Caught Looking: Erotic Tales of Voyeurs and Exhibitionists

Caught Looking: Erotic Tales of Voyeurs and Exhibitionists

Introduction: Exhibitionist • Alison Tyler
Introduction: Confessions of a Confirmed Voyeur • Rachel Kramer Bussel

Curtain Call • Thomas S. Roche
Room with a View • Saskia Walker
A Flash of Gold • Radclyffe
All Eyes on Her • M. Christian
Walled Lake Girl • Tara Alton
Tight Spots • Debra Hyde
Replacements • Tenille Brown
The Changing Room • Catherine Lundoff
My Finest Hour • Stan Kent
The Stars Fell Down • Kristina Wright
Couples Welcome • Erica Dumas
Busted • Sophie Mouette
X-ray Specs • Heather Peltier
Forceful Personalities • Dominic Santi
The Poet, Dying • Simon Sheppard
Command Performance • Teresa Noelle Roberts
Volcanic Vacation • Sage Vivant
Down on Your Knees • Shanna Germain
Late Bloomer • Alison Tyler
Sharing the Perfect Cock • Rachel Kramer Bussel

Confessions of a Confirmed Voyeur (Introduction)
by Rachel Kramer Bussel

I can’t lie—I like to watch. Looking at sexy people exuding in their sensuality, playing it up, flirting, flaunting it, gets me hot. Knowing they want to show off for me makes it all the better. I live in New York, the ultimate city for people watching, but only rarely to I actually get to engage in true voyeurism—watching other people have sex.

Sometimes I attend sex parties, where a giant room might be filled with all sorts of couplings. But the action that gets me hottest isn’t the most over-the-top scene in the room, but when I see two people so lost in each other that their bodies seem to give off waves of heat, a magnetism that’s enough to lure anyone into their web. Once, during a threesome with a private sex party’s host couple, I remember watching them kiss as all of us were entangled and being both awed and jealous of the passion their lips shared, until they opened their circle to include me, letting me peek, and join in. I also like it when lovers show off just for me, and have asked several to display how they touch themselves when I’m not around. Watching as their fingers stroke and pump makes me feel like I’m being let into a secret world, given a special lens to view the utterly private.

Like talking dirty, another sexual act I indulge every chance I can, watching uses one of my senses to enhance another. Seeing a lover strip for me, watching them run their hands up and down their body, making them display their masturbation techniques, showing off the bite marks or reddened skin from a spanking, checking out her cleavage or his ass from across the room when they don’t know I’m looking, gets me hot and makes my body purr. Time seems to stop as I soak in her curves, his tattoos, her strong back, his neck, her parted lips, his hard cock. Whatever position I’m in, I like to watch as our bodies melt against each other, and that visual is like a show-within-a-show for me, its impact spurring on my desire.

The authors who’ve graced us with their naughty tales here also share the thrill of watching—and being watched. I’m not so much of a spy as a blatant voyeur; I like the people I’m watching to know I’m looking, to feel my gaze as they bare their innermost selves to me. I like to watch people’s faces when they come, when every last shred of inhibition gets tossed out and they are naked, bare, caught in my glance. I like them to feel my eyes burning into them, warming them, knowing I’m getting off by absorbing whatever it is they want to reveal. When they’re strutting their stuff just for me, giving me visual cues that tell me they know I’ve got my gaze pinned on them, I’m in heaven, squirreling away those images in my mind to replay later, responding to their every move, whether they’re flirting from across the room, masturbating on command, or making love to someone else before my eyes.

Stan Kent knows exactly what I’m talking about, and shares his voyeuristic secrets in “My Finest Hour.” Once you read his story, I bet you’ll want to watch his protagonist’s lover, who knows just what to do to make sure you’ll stick around to see what she’ll do next. He puts us right at the heart of why looking is so alluring: “Notice how the word shower contains ‘show.’ Show and shower — the two go together like a wet pussy and a stiff cock. Our glassed enclosure is her stage . . . my luxurious private and personal peep show that satisfies my fundamental sexual need to watch my lover engaged in what would be private and personal moments if it weren’t for the fact that I was watching.” Watching someone in the throes of ecstasy, watching them surrender, fully and completely, to those stirring rumblings inside, is a powerful thrill. I consider it an honor, a gift, whether that means a breast flashed at me on the sly, or a private masturbation ritual that I’m let in on. I replay the memories of watching when I’m alone, a special erotic reel looping forever in my mind.

Other stories here also delight in the voyeuristic nature of sex. Tara Alton’s “Walled Lake Girl” likes to check out her naughty neighbor as he fucks countless girls, until the tables get turned and she’s the one in his bedroom while someone else (possibly) peeks in. Lisette Ashton’s voyeur, Sally, in “Curtain Up,” is a lot shyer than her counterparts throughout the rest of this book. She becomes “spellbound,” transfixed, mesmerized by the naked female flesh she glimpses backstage as her fellow dancers get ready to shimmy and shake. She’s not reluctant, just unprepared for the reactions such bold displays evoke within her. She’s a novice voyeur—perhaps the best kind, eyes wide with awe and eagerness.

Despite our title, you don’t need to be caught looking—you can unabashedly enjoy every second of these personal peep shows, taking you into a world where lovers light up their bedroom stages, creating dramas worthy of the big screen, whether it’s a slow reveal or an all-out erotic extravaganza. Join us—and look to your heart’s content. I know I will be.


Exhibitionist (Introduction)
by Alison Tyler

Watch me.

Put me on display. That’s what I like. Doll me up and take me out. I’ll be your pony girl, with glossy leather boots riding all the way up to my slender thighs. I’ll be your naughty schoolgirl, in a kinky blue-and-green-plaid skirt and shiny high-heeled Mary Janes. I’ll be your siren in shimmering satin, or your vixen dressed down in my favorite pair of beat-up Levi’s. Truthfully, I don’t care what sort of clothes you put me in. I only want you to dress me up and take me out, so that people can watch.

I’ve always been this way. Yes, I come across as shy at first, with my dark brown eyes cast down; my shoulder-length hair falling forward, hiding my face. I have a long-standing habit of biting my full lower lip when nervous or excited. But all of that’s an act. What I want most are eyes on me. What I crave is the excitement I feel when I know others are watching.

And they are. They always are. They’ve been watching from the very start.

There were eyes on me when Alexander backed me up against the wall behind the record store where he worked, sliding one hand along the lean line of my body, pulling my summery dress up to reveal my lavender lace-edged panties. People could see us when Jack and I had sex in the back row of the theater, my long leather jacket open, my short navy skirt hiked to my slim waist. And when Sam and I fucked in that club in Paris, we gave a thrill to every voyeur who strolled by.

“Open your eyes,” Sam said. “They’re watching you.”

And he was right. They were.

My heart pounded as I made eye contact with the other patrons. As they gazed at us for their personal viewing pleasure, staring at the place where our bodies met, then looking up into my eyes and letting me know that they saw.

I want to be seen. All the time. Everywhere. It goes deeper than that.

I need you to stare at me, to see me. To watch the way my face changes, my expressions shift. To see the subtle strength that pulses in my eyes. To see the defiance there, the power that makes me who I am—the real person behind the shy exterior.

Watch me.

But when you stop, when you tear yourself away, I’ll still be there, my back arched, my lips parted. You’ll feel me gazing at you—and you’ll look back, and then I’ll be the one watching you. We can take turns, like the authors in this collection. The voyeurs and the exhibitionists, playing hide and seek with the sultry characters in their sexy tales. From Thomas S. Roche’s delicious “Curtain Call” to M. Christian’s intoxicating “All Eyes on Her,” there are other lads and lasses here like me who need to be seen. And from Saskia Walker’s naughty heroines in “Room with a View” to the voyeur in Tenille Brown’s “Replacements,” there are other lovers who delight in doing the seeing.

I’m sure you’ll be won over with both—and I’ll know.

Because, just like you, I’ll be watching.

TES

I get really nervous when doing any kind of public speaking, but I’ve learned over the years to get over myself and do it anyway. I say yes to almost any reading or speaking gig I’m offered, and, in a roundabout way, that’s how my book deal came about (an editor had seen me read and liked what she heard, thus providing crucial encouragement, via my agent, and while I didn’t wind up going with that editor, knowing that she was interested in my work spurred me on to finish my novel proposal). It also really, really, really helps you see how a story works or doesn’t work. But reading an already-written story aloud is one thing, speaking off the cuff is another.

I had spoken at TES (The Eulenspiegel Society, a BDSM group in New York that's been around a long time and has 783 members, lots of committees and activities, and various special interest groups, events, etc.) a while ago about spanking, but this was supposed to be about the life of a writer. I didn’t prepare anything because I was crazy busy and also not really sure what I wanted to say, so I just brought a bunch of materials and started talking. It was great to see some familiar faces in the crowd but what I found was that whether I knew them or not, it was a welcoming crowd. They had good questions and wanted to hear what I had to say; they weren’t antagonistic, but interesting. My big fear is that I’ll go speak and it’s this situation of “go ahead, tell me something I don’t know.” If you were at the big porn debate with Nick Gillespie and Pamela Paul and the Morality in Media guy, which had us on a stage at the CUNY Graduate Center in front of an audience, you heard the total silence in between my sentences and my shaky voice. That is not my ideal speaking situation.

But the TES people were so open and inquisitive and I realized that that’s another aspect of my community. I really am not part of any organized BDSM group anymore, I think because I’m not that into public play, or public sex of any kind, and don’t necessarily have much of an interest in going to sex parties, so I feel like I don’t belong, but being amongst a crowd like that made me realize that I do belong. That it’s not about who’s having the kinkiest sex (cause I would certainly lose that) but about thinking about these issues and contemplating how our society is structured sexually. In many ways, they’ve already done a lot of questioning about their own sexuality and sexual norms and all of that, and what’s fascinating to me is that I would imagine the majority of them are “straight” in terms of sexual orientation but there’s a lot of openness to switching or experimenting and just watching/listening/learning from people with a wide variety of kinks and fetishes. And all of that came across so well and I was truly touched, and not just because the coordinator brought me two (!) bottles of diet Coke. I was also given 2 copies of their excellent magazine Prometheus, a mug, t-shirt, and complimentary TES membership. And I got to meet erotic authors I’ve corresponded with (actually ones whose work I’ve rejected, which was a little awkward but I was so pleased to meet them, and they’re both great writers, more on that later). Overall, it was one of the most pleasant, interesting, non-nerve inducing speaking engagements I’ve ever done and I’d happily go back.

There was no lechery or weirdness or uncomfortable personal questions, but really thoughtful ones. At the end, they have a circle where you can raise any issue or question you want and it was quite fascinating. Also, some older folks shared incredibly interesting stories from the 70's; one even brought a vintage copy of High Society to show me. And a professor I had at Berkeley even showed up and shared that she’d written me a law school recommendation! I felt like an ass cause I totally didn’t remember her but she was so nice, as was everyone and I left with such a good feeling. Sadly, had to miss Cheryl B’s birthday blowout, but that’s life.

Latest Mediabistro pieces

My latest at Mediabistro (yes, you need an Avantguild membership to access the editor interviews):

From the Editors interview, Carrie Thornton, Three Rivers Press

Pitching an Agent, Evan Marshall

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Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Adventures in HOT book covers: B is for Bondage

I can already tell this alphabet erotica series by Alison Tyler is going to kick off with a BANG!

B is for Bondage

B is for Bondage

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Sugasm #47 likes sex and cupcakes

The best of the sex blogs this week by the bloggers who blog them. Featuring the top 3 posts voted by Sugasmer participants. Want in Sugasm #48? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the linklist within a week and you’re all set.


This Week’s Picks

Lazy Sunday (http://www.chillivanilla.com)

“I flick my thumb across your clit, as if I were lighting a match, which, in many ways I am.”


The Secret (http://confessions112.blogspot.com)

“I came back to the bed and started to lavish kisses on him, savoring the inches of skin on him that I knew were mine and mine alone.”


You’re all I want (http://theholidaylife.blogspot.com)

“Go to the couch. Bend over. For me.”


Mr. Sugasm Himself

How to Cure Female Ejaculation (http://sugarbank.com)


Editors’ Choice

Fetish, Fashion and The War On Terror (http://adelehaze.com)


More Sugasm

Join the Sugasm


(Sugasm participants should re-post all the links above. The following links may be excluded as long as you include all the above links.)


BDSM and Fetish

Double Penetration (Fangs & Cock) (http://la-day.blogspot.com)

Hurt Me, Please (http://everythingoze.blogspot.com)

Isabella’s Eyes - Part VIII (http://nyc-urban-gypsy.blogspot.com)

Morning quickie (http://darkside-journey.blogspot.com)

The weekender #4: The beginnings of our lifestyle (http://seanandmel.blogspot.com)


NSFW Pics

Asian 1 on 1 (http://www.internetisforporn.com)

Myspace Christine Dolce Nude (http://www.thesexbox.com)


Erotic Writing and Experiences

At a bar in a strange city (http://erotischism.blogspot.com)

Be Sure to Tip Your Waitress (http://sabrinainstockings.com)

I *not only* write porn, but I also just do it. (http://eternalapprentice.blogsome.com)

Insatiable (http://talktovanessa.com)

Just for the taste of her (part two)…and breakfast
(http://dirtydetails.blogspot.com)

Last Night (http://mandyseroticlife.blogspot.com)

Mr Henry writes debauched dialogue (http://junohenry.wordpress.com)

The Rain (Part I) (http://grlnxtdoortx2.blogspot.com)

Sexwars (http://dirtyandthirty.blogspot.com)

A visit (http://edtimestories.blogspot.com)

You Can’t Come To My Room Tonight (http://makemycopcome.blogspot.com)


Sex News and Sexy Reviews

Fat Man In A Barrel (http://www.orgasmarmy.com)

Meet the Sperm Testers (http://www.TaraTainton.com)

Product Review - Head Candy (http://shayssexcolumn.blogspot.com)

Sex and Booze (http://www.seskuality.com)

Sex Toys For Vacations (http://sultry.naughtyblog.net)

Straight Porn Review: Squirts So Good (http://blog.johnqafterhours.com)


Thoughts on Sex and Relationships

Ewww, your parents had sex? (http://www.realadultsex.com)

Fucking To Heal (http://fuckingtheministersdaughter.blogspot.com)

Half-Nekkid and Tending to Nature (http://www.TarasNaughtyShop.com)

I’ve Been Outed…. AND I’m Back….. (http://totalsensuality.blogspot.com)

No Rumors (http://femmefataleteen.blogspot.com)

The origins of the cane (http://www.spankingwriters.com/blog)

Screaming Orgasm- it’s not just a drink at the bar (http://ellabeecoquette.blogspot.com)

Sex and cupcakes (http://lustylady.blogspot.com)

A Sexual Theory (http://www.seska4lovers.com)

Snip-Snip, Quack-Quack-Quack (http://virtual-sex-tourist.com)

Where I’m coming from (http://principalquattrano.com/blog)

Why do I masturbate? (http://wanklog.blogspot.com)