Feminist porn and proud cocksuckers - they exist, deal with it

No time for a full examination of this issue (though I will soon be examining the whole Melissa Lafsky/Tucker Max/feminism vs. fratire issue - I don't think it's clearcut either way, but do think it speaks to highly important issues of how men and women relate to each other in terms of modern dating, sexuality, and relationships) but I had wanted to link to this Feministing post about the 2006 Feminist Porn Awards and the predicatable (which Jessica handily foresees) but still sad backlash in the comments:

Oh lovely, now we have something called "Feminist Porn." What's next, "The Battered Wife of the Year Awards"? or maybe "The Proud to be Degraded Festival for Young Feminists"?
There is nothing "revolutionary" about pornography, and this misguided attempt to insist that it can be is absurd. Aren't we past the nonsense?

Ewwwww. Anal Sex is GROSS!!!!!! ICKY ICKY ICKY! If that is what "feminist porn" is all about...count me out!

But thankfully the fabulous Minty Jane of Moist and Tasty (and original designer of my website) brings both humor and some welcome depth to the discussion, check out all her comments in the thread:

so you mean it wasn't really me who bought the porn that currently turns me on? It happens...deal with it.

Awardee Tristan Taormino has much to say about "Political Smut Makers:"

Some say no porn could ever be feminist. Lots of us disagree. But that doesn't mean we agree on what it is: each filmmaker defines her or his work differently. For me, feminist porn is about character, choice, and consciousness. I like to collaborate with performers on how their sexuality is represented, rather than give them a script or formula to follow. I want to capture complex, three-dimensional beings rather than stereotypes, to create an open environment that's safe for everyone—especially women—to take charge of their pleasure and be able to express their desires freely. I want to represent sex as positive, fun, healthy, and adventurous. I consciously work to create images that contradict (and hopefully challenge) other porn that represents women only as objects and vehicles for male pleasure.

Also, in light of the whole "sucks" debate (which The Observer's Media Mob picked up on today - but didn't credit Hit and Run, or spell my name right), I found this line of Tristan's interesting: "The lack of female pleasure in porn just sucks."

And on the "sucks" topic, I think further proof that it's been as far removed from any sexual connotation as possible is that in two recent cases of someone I know having cancer, someone else said, "That sucks." Sometimes there just isn't a word that truly speaks to the horror of a situation. Of course "sucks" is shorthand and may not get as much to the point as you or I or Lee Siegel would like, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't use it. I think those of us who are proud cocksuckers can claim that and still use "sucks" in this way. Language is multipurpose and can have one meaning at one point in time, one at another.

And let me back up to Siegel once again because I didn't touch on this yesterday. From the Siegel TNR piece "Against Sucks:"

performing oral sex has a lot to do with the unequal distribution of pleasure and power. It's more satisfying for the recipient than for the bestower. Without love or emotional connection, it usually makes the bestower an instrument of the recipient's will.

Umm...who sounds like freaking Dr. Laura? Seriously! This is what she says. This is the kind of highly judgmental attitude that drives me batty. I'm not saying there aren't plenty of times where it is about an unequal distribution of pleasure and power BUT how do we measure those two adequately? For the guy getting the blowjob, okay, there's a way to measure his pleasure but for the giver? There were so many people who tsked about Monica Lewinsky, about how she didn't get anything out of their sexual encounters, and it boggles my mine - hello? She was blowing the President under his desk. I'm sure plenty of women could come practically from just fantasizing about that. Sexual power and satisfaction can be measured in a lot of ways. I'm not at all trying to discount "love or emotional connection," but to point out that we tend to prioritize and legitimize our own ideals of those same states of being, and passing judgment on other people, especially when it comes to sex.

To sum up, not only don't I think "the entire country is evoking the act of fellatio on a continuous basis," (at least, on the basis of using the word "fuck"), I also think Siegel is actually defeating his own point by prioritizing a way of looking at blowjobs that is so retro and unempowering. Please note: I'm not saying the world's problems can be solved by giving blowjobs. I'm not saying anyone should or should not give or receive blowjobs. I actually don't see it as all that political of a topic except that it becomes so by our constant bombardment with the idea that, inherently, sucking cock is degrading.