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Lusty Lady

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Watch my first and favorite book trailer for Spanked: Red-Cheeked Erotica. Get Spanked in print and ebook

Saturday, December 31, 2005

Final post of 2005

It was a veritable Overheard-fest at the liquor store - I walk in and this girl from Texas goes: "Christy and I are such good friends because we both like to drink." Then I'm waiting on line and this girl goes to this guy "I thought you wanted to throw up tonight." I, on the other hand, already feel queasy from whatever this bug I have is but I'm off to a party in Queens and a brunch tomorrow as my way of defying the odds and making my last nightly outing for a while.

I think it's fitting that I bought a dozen cupcakes at sugar Sweet sunshine today because I spend so much time there and plan to spend much more. It's going to be my new place to go to write in public, since when I try to "write" at home I wind up sleeping, reading, going online, cleaning, watching movies, etc.

Listening to some very apropos Kirsty MacColl, who somehow manages to make even heartbreak sound sexy. I certainly spent way too much of 2005 letting my wayward heart rule my brain, though I can't really apologize for it, but hopefully I've learned something from those 20-something fiascos about protecting myself just a wee bit more. Part of me wishes I could not care at all, but I do, always, but, once again, the serenity prayer and all that. I can only work on myself and try to make myself into the best person I can be, and even if I'm the only one who ever winds up appreciating that, that's still something worthwhile to strive for.

Snow!

Somewhere in the last two days, I got pretty sick. I thought it was just a cold and hence walked all over the place yesterday, determined to be all healthy and strong, but by last night had to concede that I felt pretty awful, my throat sore and a headache that wouldn't go away. I slept a lot and feel marginally better and was happy to see snowflakes drifting along outside. It feels like the end of this year has rushed by, and I am still finishing and struggling with many of the same things as I have in years past, though I think I've made a lot of progress this year. I've learned not to make predictions or pronouncements, because I'm very likely to break them. I'm trying to be calmer, less volatile, more accepting of my flaws and more proactive in changing the things I don't like about myself. It's very tough to accurately assess these things, especially For me, it's not to much about asking G-d, though I will be going to services next Friday for an oneg for my baby cousin, as looking inward and figuring out how, as the serenity prayer tells us:

to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference


That's always been close to impossible for me. It seems like I can't change a thing, but rather than feel sorry for myself about those aspects of my life, I'm just going to focus on what I can change. I have this awful pattern where when I realize I can't change X, it feels pointless to change Y, Z, or anything else I do have control over, because I will never be able to change X. Instead, I do everything in my power to skirt my own knowledge that I can't change X, thinking I can do the impossible, wasting time and emotion and energy, and hopefully I can leave all that behind. I'm not much for New Year's resolutions per se, because I always break them and they sometimes feel like even more pressure, but there are definitely things I want to change, plenty that I need to work on to be a better person, to myself and others. I also have to realize that sometimes the best thing I can do is be a little selfish. I can't go to every event or put other people ahead of me in terms of prioritizing, because then I don't have enough time and resent things I shouldn't, so I'm working on that, as well as making the most of the time I do have. So much has happened this year, and I do feel "older," not just because of the number 30, but I realize how much time I've frittered away, and am a little more focused on what I do want out of life and how to go about getting it.

This January staying in time should help me both focus on my writing and make some goals and plans and just give me some solitude I've been craving. Plus, winter is not my favorite season so if I'm going to stay in, better to do it then, but mostly, I need to learn to prioritize. If I had done that, I'd have these overdue projects done already and could focus on the new stuff. But I also know that sometimes with creative work, not so much copyediting or administrative minutiae, but writing and thinking, I can't always force it. Sometimes the idea is there and that's it, it's just an idea, maybe 50 words, not 500 or 1,100 or whatever. And that's okay. That time or interviewing or writing wasn't "wasted" and maybe it will appear again in some other form.

Virginia Postrel wrote about New Year's resolutions this week and Professor Thomas C. Schelling's take on them:

The problem, he suggested, is that pretty much everybody suffers from a split personality. One self desperately wants to lose weight or quit smoking or run two miles a day or get up early to work. The other wants dessert or a cigarette, hates exercise or loves sleep.

Both selves are equally valid, and equally rational about pursuing their desires. But they do not exist at the same time.


I finally bought A Year to Live, which Monica had turned me on to, and hopefully can learn something from that about getting what I want out of life. I certainly don't like who I became in the early half of 2005, and I think I have changed for the better. I have so many wonderful people in my life who make me smile and who just get me, who I'm so so grateful for, and they stand in stark relief to the people who just don't get me. It's funny because it really isn't dependent on the length of time I've known someone. I clicked with Miriam pretty much right away and am so glad she's in my life and vice versa. That's an example of a pretty bad experience having a good outcome.

So I'm just gonna keep plugging away, and instead of bemoaning my lack of a book deal, work towards one, one that is about what I want it to be about, and in the meantime, do what I have to do to sustain myself and try to have fun with it and remember why I got into this in the first place. Happy New Year everyone!

Friday, December 30, 2005

If you can stand baby cuteness overload...

Click here for America's Baby Photo Contest

I really do own this


hello kitty toaster
Originally uploaded by rkb2.
But it was a birthday gift. I just used it for the first time to make a frozen waffle. It was warm and toasted fully and delicious but, sadly, did not have a hello kitty face imprinted on it. I will keep trying.

Vegas ice!


winter ice
Originally uploaded by Jami.
I'm in New York, but this photo is courtesy Jami Attenberg - click through to her flickr set for more.

I heart Jackie Cohen

I heard Jackie Cohen read this brilliant letter at The Rejection Show once. Because I am such a girl, and I mean that in every pejorative, stupid, girlish way I could possibly mean it, I totally identify with it. I will likely be spending much more than just January locked in my apartment "dating my writing," as my ex called it. Or just going on, like, one date every six months, as was my pattern this year.

How cute are they?

Rachel Sklar, aka Fishbowl NY, has taken a bunch of photos this year, including super cute ones of Elizabeth and Dana, Will, Heidi and Malice, and a baby!

Thursday, December 29, 2005

lazy days

I created a blog of its own for In The Flesh, which thankfully is booked from January through April. I'm going to be working on making flyers at some point and booking the rest of the year, and hopefully there will be nice weather and no strikes or other disasters on January 18th. I'm being tempted by many January events, including Oedipus Wrecked author Kevin Keck's Rand-McNally reading (see Cleis site) on January 9th and Susan Shapiro's Lighting Up paperback release party on January 10th, but the past few days of doing pretty much nothing and then freaking out today about all my overdue/almost due stuff has taught me that I need to really spend at least a month just focusing and writing and getting organized.

Today I really did relax, got to visit with my baby cousin and then saw Rumor Has It, where I ran into Shari unexpectedly. That's about it, looking forward to more time off which should allow me time to finish these outstanding bits of anthology copyediting and maybe even some much-needed cleaning. Fun, fun, I know.

There's a pajama party tomorrow (Friday the 30th) at the Laugh Factory. I don't know why, but already, that cracks me up. There's even a prize for sexiest lingerie. I will be home wearing probably very un-sexy sleepwear buried under piles of blankets. Lately, even though I still rock the fishnets most of the time, I am all about fuzzy sweaters and cozy blankets and staying home.

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

I'm extra honored

...to garner an honorable mention in Fleshbot's Top Ten Hotties of 2005 - check out the list (I mean, Jesse freaking Capell! Hot hot hot!). It's funny because I've known Audacia Ray for at least several years, back before her recent more famous incarnation, and am very proud of her. And Ms. Molly Crabapple, my recent interviewee, is a nominee too. And other girls I've never heard of but can't wait to check out when I'm done with an all-too-rare writing jag. I hope 2006 is a great year for all of us!

Lily Burana on the meaning of home

Lily Burana on "home:" (Meanwhile, I'm at my second home, sugar Sweet sunshine

Home is where you don't have to explain yourself. Home is where you don't have to raise your voice to be heard. All jokes are understood, and all efforts appreciated--or at least most. Home is where you feel safe. Not the safety of hiding, but the safety of being SEEN--dumb humor, geeky hobbies, fiendish longings, habits, vulnerabilities, the whole magilla. If you've got that person, place, or pursuit in your life, rejoice. If you're not there yet, my holiday wish is that you find your way home soon.

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

You had me at "awesome"

Drinks at Extratasty.com tagged with "awesome" from a girl who could really use a strong drink right about now (via Joshua Blankenship)

I'll give it to someone special

I think I'm trying to preempt myself by listening to Sarge's cover of "Last Christmas" although that's rather the least depressing of Elizabeth's music. Although somehow it's still cathartic, I'm just not in much of a consolable mood tonight. Nothing even "wrong" per se, in fact most things are going quite well, pretty much all my pie pieces, but, just, I don't know, whatever it is. Let's call it PMS.

At least I can sleep in tomorrow and hopefully overnight have some fruitful or at least interesting dreams. I've just wasted my entire night sitting in front of the computer doing, well, not a thing really. Except hitting things like "refresh" and "play" over and over. But that's okay. I can deal, and have certainly had worse moments this year. I found this old Salon piece by Charles Taylor on Sarge:

It's as if Mary Gaitskill had opted to tell one of her tales in the form of "Run Lola Run."

For the record, I think Elizabeth Elmore is one of the most brilliant, gut-wrenchingly honest songwriters around. Even when she's doing a cover she really makes it her own. But I don't think she has Betty Boop lips.

Okay, pulling me slightly out of my gloom and doom - the new epilogue to Ana Marie Cox's Dog Days contains this tidbit, which should amuse anyone who has so much as glanced at Ben Shapiro's Porn Generation (published by Regnery):

HEATHER MASON poses for Maxim and keeps her top on. Her book, Washington: A View from the Bottom, comes out, to great titillation, from Regnery Publishing after a lucrative deal negotiated by Hugh Brompton.

Reading at In The Flesh last week


in the flesh
Originally uploaded by girlynyc.

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Mediabistro interview with George Hodgman, Executive Editor, Henry Holt

Mediabistro interview with George Hodgman, Executive Editor, Henry Holt - he's worked on Danielle Trussoni's Falling Through the Earth, John Falk's Hello to All That, Anthony Shadid's Night Draws Near and Kevin Boyle's Arc of Justice, among others

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Violet Blue nails it

Proving why she's one of Wired's Sexiest Geeks of 2005, Violet Blue posts about Tribe.net's new guidelines for adult material and hits on the topic du jour (in my head):

I don't do Fleshbot for the money (that's for sure). I do it because our attitude toward sex and culture, adult fun, and intelligent sex speaks to the very core of ethics that make me who I am. And it's free, and accessible -- if you don't have access to information, *you're* not free. For many women, the cage has been their own bodies; I regularly have contact with women who have been alive for many decades who have still never had an orgasm. Many women (and men) are still afraid of their own bodies, or are disgusted by their genitals because no one ever told them that what they have is not only beautiful down there, but fun and healthy and totally normal and that pleasure is good for you. And porn is a healthy, if sometimes annoyingly bimbonic, component of shedding sexual ignorance and learning to make healthy choices about individual sex and sexuality.

She also did her own year's sexiest geeks post and used the word "lubricious" (AND included the fabulous Annalee Newitz).

There are so many reasons to adore Violet - one of mine is for writing in her introduction to Best Women's Erotica 2006 (which contains my story "Spike" that I mentioned here): "While compiling this heady colletion of hot erotica, I purchased a container of buttercream frosting body butter and wore some behind my ears throughout. Like the delicious sweetness of a warm, fluffy cupcake, a whiff of a particularly memorable story would catch up with me while waiting at a crosswalk for a light ot change, or in a quiet moment between kisses . . .

I hope you enjoy the results of me running totally sexually amok putting together the stories in Best Women's Erotica 2006. I filled it with erotica that turns my head around and makes me want to fuck, or at least thrust a few fingers in my panties for a little squeeze. Erotica like a stolen fingerful of frosting. Erotica for girls like me.

Monday, December 26, 2005

"The Blog Song" by Rob and Mark

You can listen to "The Blog Song" by Rob and Mark on their MySpace page - if you're a blogger, I pretty much guarantee you'll find it hilarious. At the very least, I do, it's even better live too.

sex blogs are addictive

I could blame it on insomnia or curiosity. I don't really know what it is, but I've been prowling a whole world of sex blogs I've never encountered before while trying to write some stuff here and there. Ah, the internet - great for research, even better for procrastination.

A little Tuesday morning brain teaser for you:

What celebrity has Chelsea Girl had sex with?

That reminds me that at one point I wanted to do a groupie/starfucker column but never got around to it and some of my starfuckers didn't want to name names, though I think between the band groupies and others I can come up with some juicy stories hopefully. She also has an interesting post about something that my gang has discussed quite a bit: the birthday threesome.

On sex writing

I've been doing some research for my book proposal and was looking up reactions to Jonathan Franzen's horrible essay "Books in Bed." Here's a really novel idea - don't want to read about sex? Don't. Skip it. Move along to the next section of the bookstore, newsstand, blogosphere. But the fact is, lots of people DO want to read about sex, whether it's college or other newspaper sex columns, how-to books, memoirs, etc. I can't really think of another topic where people's personal qualms cause them to say "nobody should be writing about this." There's also this fallacy that if you write about sex, quite openly and intimately, you keep nothing to yourself.

The fact of the matter is, I keep plenty to myself. We all do; and it's just a matter of degree and what we value. Certainly, I've had plenty of sexual experiences, moments, revelations, etc., that I didn't write about, and wouldn't publicly. I do understand that one can only be judged on what is public; if all you see is a crappy New York magazine article, that may be all you have to go by, except for that fact that all of us in that article are published authors so for the countless bloggers who chose to say "I've never read her writing, but I think she should shut her mouth" - that's your opinion and you're welcome to it, but I think i'ts unfair. I don't tell anyone else they shouldn't write about whatever they desire, and while I always write for myself, first and foremost, and if I ever got sick of any of it, I'd walk away, I am glad that people want to read what I write and do my best, at least in my Voice column, to include other perspectives. I'm fascinated by how differently we all think about sex, which is why this whole attitude of "it shouldn't be discussed" baffles me. To me, it's an endlessly fascinating topic because there are so many nuances, angles, aspects, and I believe that everyone has something going on, at least in their head, about sex, whether it's fantasies, memories, regrets, questions, etc. This is part of what I'll be writing about, well, will be writing about if I can finagle a book deal sometime before I'm 40, because to me it's kindof like "don't ask, don't tell" - how is that a victory, when it's okay to do something but not talk about? The problem is that there are some people who need/want to talk about it. I'm not saying they have to talk about it with the people who don't want to discuss it, but it's frightening to me that there is a pretty vocal group, not just some fledgling minority, who think sex should always be skirted around, never discussed. There are times that's true, but I know there are plenty of sex writers out there, I'm not going to be so bold as to put myself in that category, but people like Susie Bright, Tristan Taormino, Carol Queen, Sallie Tisdale, and now people like Joan Kelly, Kevin Keck, Ian Kerner, even a Toni Bentley or Catherine Millet, etc., who are talking about sex in intelligent ways, who are either imparting their knowledge based on their experience and study, or relaying personal accounts that are valuable.

For me, the problem with pushing sex deep into the closet is that then we get one single portrait of what all of "sex" is like, and that leaves out so many groups. I'm still amazed by how popular female domination is as a topic, how many guys in real life or in their fantasies want to submit to a woman's erotic control, and that contradicts the traditional manly, macho image that men are "supposed" to project. That fascinates me, because it is a contradiction, and I see sex as an arena where so many of our secret dreams and thoughts and fantasies can get played out, or at least explored, but if there's no space, both in private and public, to discuss these topics, people are really trapped in their own heads, living out scripts they feel are dictated to them by the surrounding culture. That's fine as long as your desires perfectly conform to that script, but if they don't (and I'd venture to say that many, many people's don't, at least not all the time), you're at a huge loss.

So I'm trying to keep this in mind as I hunt around and take notes and all that. So, you know, take me off your bloglines now if you don't want to read more in this vein because I (fingers crossed) plan to become super single-minded as I really work on fashioning these nebulous ideas into something concrete instead of sitting around doing things piecemeal as I have been since I left law school in 1999. Not that I'm not proud of what I've accomplished, I totally am, but I feel like through being in debt and making some of the choices I've made, I've set up a precedent whereby books aren't something you actually make money doing, whereby I say yes to everything even when I know I have other things I want to do, and I want to gain a little more control over all aspects of my life, especially my writing. I have no idea if I can actually do it, but I will hate myself if I don't at least try.

Here's just one such sentiment I ran across at truefiction.org

I’m going to make a bold statement here: we shouldn’t really talk about sex. I don’t just mean in columns, I mean on cell phones, in coffee shops—anywhere. We can talk about dating all we like, because dating is about relationships between people and therefore infinitely fascinating and infinitely complex. But sex is the most private of acts, one that people should keep to themselves. There’s no need to open the blinds and show our naked selves to the worlds, because it’s hard enough to show our naked selves to the one we’re sleeping with.

Random links

Susie Bright on XXX Church at Huffington Post:

I prefer to pretend this site is a triumph of satiric performance art, because it's too sad to contemplate that these clever wise-asses, Pastors Craig and Mike, actually believe that masturbation is an offense to God and womankind. Yes, they insist that masturbation is something that guys do to demean the fairer sex.

A fetus Christmas tree (via Feministing.com)

Omg. Feministing also linked to Proknowledge.org, a supposed sex-ed site set up by right-to-lifers that features pretty much ONLY the negative sides to sex:

Sex can damage your self-esteem, sense of worth, and reputation. It can cause regret, stress, pressure, heartache, and vulnerability.

Also, because young women clearly don't deserve not being condescended to:

When you were little, "boys were stupid." Now, thanks to hormones, they don't seem to "stupid."

Because they're guys. And guys can be cool. Guys can be cute. And what used to seem gross doesn't seem that way anymore.

Maybe you're looking for your dream guy, dating someone, or even considering living together or marriage. Whatever your situation, the next few pages contain everything you need to know about developing a healthy, enjoyable relationship.


I don't mind them raising questions for people to consider but if you read all the way through, you'll see that there are no real pros and cons, just cons-to anything but getting married. Don't live together, don't have premarital sex (because - gasp! - sex makes babies). I do think there is balance needed, especially for young women, in terms of building their self-image and self-worth so they have sex because they want to, not just because of peer pressure or some guy wants them to, but this whole "we really care about YOU" attitude disguised as "knowledge" doesn't give young women the full picture. It paints a totally rosy, everything-will-be-perfect guise when that's not true. Life isn't perfect, whether you live or don't live with someone, whether you get married early or not, and if they're not even going to engage the positive aspects of sex or encourage masturbation, I can't even consider this approach possibly valuable, nevermind that the underlying message is: sex is bad, abortion is bad, etc.

The Chicago Sun-Times gives a roundup of the year in books:

PUSILLANIMITY PRIZE. To the New York Times, for refusing to print the title of chess champion Jennifer Shahade's book Chess Bitch: Women in the Ultimate Intellectual Sport in two articles on the same day -- including the op-ed piece she wrote at the Times' request.

RUNNER-UP: The Christian Science Monitor, for refusing to print the title of Jessa Crispin's celebrated Web site,
bookslut.com, in an article about literary blogs in which she was extensively quoted. (Full disclosure: Crispin writes the Sun-Times' comics and graphic novels column.)

My friend Joel Keller has a piece in today's Washington Post about his "Encyclopedic Grasp of Hannukah"

I finally got to watch a few episodes of The Post Show and they are SO funny, plus some of my chicas like Alexis and Mindy are in them. I'm gonna check out all the rest and hopefully interview them soon. There's a big DVD release party on January 7th too. I recommend "Fantasy Rape" (totally hilarious!) and "Alpha Kappa Queda."

Greta Christina's classic essay, "Are We Having Sex Now Or What?"

For the dirty birds, "The Sounds of Cumming" from phone sex worker Radical Vixen:

I like to order bondage lovers to use a ball gag when they masterbate. They ‘mmphf’ ‘mmphf’ when the big O hits.

British men sound dignified when they cum, almost poetic.

Sunday, December 25, 2005

Happy happy


with Heather at blogmukkah
Originally uploaded by rkb2.
It being Christmas and all, I figured I'd share this photo I just found somewhere (sorry, already lost the link and not sure if Brian took this or what) from Blogmukkah, just one week ago.

Happy Holidays!


Naughty or...?
Originally uploaded by ChrisB in SEA.
I'm appropriating Chris's photo (ChrisB in SEA) to wish you all the happiest of holidays. I'm loving sleeping in, catching up on reading, thinking up dirty stories, visiting with Cheryl, Heidi, Nichelle and others, including an adorably chubby baby, and stuffing our faces with cheese, ziti, cupcakes (but of course) and other delicious treats, and giving out little gifts, and catching up with some of the amazing friends I've made this year like Miriam. Not as lovely - nonstop soundtrack of rain, but even that's not so bad.

Do sex toys make good holiday gifts?

Queen of Cream answers the question and gives some advice on holiday gift-giving

Sorry folks, from me you'll have to wait for next year, though despite what some people may think, I'm much more likely to give a book or Ugly Doll or something decidedly g-rated. You know, I'm a boring homebody with a dirty mind. I really am, which is why I'm chilling at home instead of at Cattyshack with the girls.

Saturday, December 24, 2005

I guess I have to read it again

This weekend I'm planning to read a bunch of books, for review, for fun, because my friends wrote them, etc. I thought I was done with Ana Marie Cox's Dog Days, but when I was finally able to make it to my p.o. box yesterday, I walked away with a whole bunch of checks and packages. Most of the books were contributor's copies of things like The Good Parts, Best Women's Erotica 2006 (I'll quote from editor Violet Blue's hot intro later) and Best American Erotica 2007. But there was also a hardcover copy of Dog Days with more press info and this disclaimer stapled to it all:

Please check any reviews against this finished copy of DOG DAYS. Certain names and characters have been changed, and an Epilogue has been added.

Yes, I'm curious enough to reread it. It's gonna be a mellow weekend after all the madness that was this week, just seeing friends and family, reading books, writing, chilling with some more Hepburn movies, proofing two manuscripts and going over sugary stories. And just enjoying the downtime and just extending the smile I had Friday morning into the end of the year. It's hard to believe 2005 is almost over; in so many ways it seems to have flown by, and I'm energized for 2006 but also know I have to really get a move on and not wait around for something magical to happen, because then I wind up doing the same old, same old, and complaining about and resenting it, and it's all on me if I'm writing for places I don't want to be or agreeing to terms I think suck. If I don't like the course I'm headed in, I have to be the one to be proactive about changing it, knowing that failure is very likely but nobody can reject something if they haven't seen it, right?

I think finally, spurred on by all the uninformed things I've been reading, the success of books I think make no sense, I will be able to collate all my varied ideas into something I can feel good about. It's so hard sometimes to stay positive; my mind goes to the negative pretty much immediately, but I'm working on that, trying to get inspired and focused, prepping for my January month of solitude. I actually am really looking forward to it. I love New York and running around and parties and events, but I don't love not having a book deal, still being paycheck to paycheck with my rent, just not feeling in control of my life. I feel like I've been given all these great opportunities but they're worthless if I don't take advantage of them, so that's what I'm gonna try to do. And I'm sure I've said that dozens of times, but hopefully this time by the end of January I'll have something to show for it.

Friday, December 23, 2005

Add my book on MySpace + tell the world how much you loved it

Yes, Naughty Spanking Stories from A to Z is now on MySpace. Add it!

Also, being that it's the holiday season - if you read my book and liked it (even if you only read a tiny portion of it), it would make me very happy if you left a comment about it on Amazon. That's what I want for Hannukah. Well, and an all expenses paid vacation to Hawaii - I'll take that too.

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Molly Crabapple walking on glass


img_7480
Originally uploaded by semyon.
Photo by

Elizabeth Elmore has written some of my favorite songs. Check out her pointless interview

Elizabeth rocks out with The Reputation, aka my favorite band. I managed to work a song lyric quote from her old band Sarge into my next Voice column too. Splendid asks her some pointless questions.

You discover a new disease, "(Your name here)'s Syndrome". What are its symptoms? What is the cure for "(Your name here)'s Syndrome"?

Elizabeth Elmore: Elizabeth's Syndrome: obsessive multi-tasking. Symptoms include inability to sit quietly and stare into space, progressing social ineptitude, constant anxiety about whatever one may be fucking up any time one is not working, alienation and skepticism from friends and co-workers, possible obsession with logic puzzles. Cure: alcohol.

I'll try not to sully this awesome link by saying how HOT this girl is

Okay, I ruined that sentiment, but seriously - she's hot in all ways, as evidenced by this post about her imaginary sex life - and chica, I'm right there with ya, well, um, yeah, just read her post:

That's the beauty of the mindfuck: its safe, it's never embarrassing, and it always works out the way you want it to. There's never the awkwardness of the cleanup, or when you can't unbutton his jeans. The sex is always hot and satisfying. You don't have to feel like a homewrecker if you have "sex" with an attached man. No-one gets hurt.

Last Minute RKB Gift Guide

These are just some ideas/suggestions, mostly stuff I've given people this holiday season:

Ugly Dolls - they're so cute, and I like that there are enough of them that I can get an assortment so I'm not giving everyone the exact same doll



Molly Crabapple mugs



To Force a Fate by The Reputation - listen to clips at their MySpace page

The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls

The Glass Castle

The Glass Castle



Mickey Z's 50 American Revolutions You're Not Supposed To Know: Reclaiming American Patriotism

50 American Revolutions You're Not Supposed To Know

50 American Revolutions You're Not Supposed To Know



And, of course, for the kinky folks in the house, my book:

Naughty Spanking Stories from A to Z

Naughty Spanking Stories from A to Z

And in the most adorable baby contest...

Sterling and Adriana are top contenders, though I think family loyalty is gonna win out and make me pick Adam. I will also hopefully get to see him soon, I miss him!

Money changes everything: who pays for dates?

Definite column fodder, I want to do a column on worst dates, since that topic arose this week (and check out Sarah's worst date - a super greedy, obnoxious guy)

Derek Rose and Sarah Ackerman on who should pay for dates?

NYFlygirl also addresses the topic

Very interesting topic and I'm sure one that will get lots of responses, though I do think what happens during and after the date play a role - I mean, I think part of the equation is are guys wanting to pay just to get laid?

Do you care who pays? Does it matter how much money they have/make relative to your financial status? Are you an absolutist in wanting to pay/be paid for? Tell me (and feel free to elaborate as much as possible, especially with any good stories) at rachelkb at gmail.com

I have no real fixed opinion on the topic, I think it totally depends on the situation and people involved, but for me I definitely don't base whether I'm gonna hook up with or see someone again on whether they pay or not. It's more how I feel about them and what they've revealed about themselves during the date.

I think it does tap into so many different things for different people - being taken care of, being pampered, having someone else take care of things for you. As I told a friend, if I were lottery winning wealthy, I would take everyone I know out all the time, not just dates. I actually love buying things for people, sending cards, etc., both to people I'm dating and to my friends and do that as often as I can. But I think when dating enters the mix it can be really tricky and confusing, not that it has to be, and certainly I think dating can be laden enough with drama. But still, I think there's valid arguments and people's experiences on all "sides," if you will. I think also for those of us who don't necessarily expect the other person to pay, when they do, it's always nice. But I definitely look forward to hearing more people's stories. Okay, shutting up now on this topic cause I want to hear from YOU.

I am psyched for a weekend of relaxing, seeing family and friends, making love to my laptop (figuratively, of course, I will be typing away for most of the weekend, hopefully) and just enjoying not walking for miles, being crammed on the subway, or having to get up early.

Legalize Frostitution indeed


LVHRDSTRPHRD 3
Originally uploaded by alizinha.
My hot friend Allison frocks the LVHRD Pro/Am Strip for Charity in her Legalize Frostitution shirt from Cupcake Royale! Let's all encourage her to do this again soon!

Quite possibly my favorite google search to get here ever

lady crushes cans with her boobs

Gothamist interview with Cuddle Party Founders Marcia Baczynski and REiD MiHalko

Not sure how long I'll be able to keep doing this, so here's my latest Gothamist interview with the founders of Cuddle Party, Marcia Baczynski and REiD MiHalko

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Molly Crabapple is awesome

It's been so crazy I barely had time to absorb Molly Crabapple's awesomeness. Here's one of my favorite quotes from any interview I've ever done:

In your artiste’s statement, you share that your favorite subject is artifice, and are intrigued by what lies underneath people’s outer masks. Do you think modern culture is too in-your-face, especially when it comes to sex? Is less more?

I used to be all for modern libertinism until I realized that many of the girls wearing Tight Pussy t-shirts weren’t having orgasms. I’m a crotchety old woman at heart. It all seems forced and passionless to me-not to mention bad aesthetics. Be a lady, even if you’re doing ten guy gangbangs each night.

In The Flesh rocked


spanking with a hardback book
Originally uploaded by candiedyams.
Seriously. Despite the stupid strike, a cozy group of us descended on Happy Ending last night for a fabulous mixed up reading from my fortchoming book Naughty Spanking Stories from A to Z 2. There were only 3 people there when I got there - this guy Leon from Pennsylvania (who happened to be in the city and had heard about it), Derek from venonhaus.tv, who taped and will be podcasting the reading, and Syd Bernstein, who we'd met at The Jenny Vaudeville Show.

Nichelle arrived looking a little tired, as she should be, from so much walking, and Heidi got there a short while later and asked for as many drink tickets as I could spare. Tsaurah Litzky arrived ready to read, and we were eventually joined by Matt C., Allison, Mindy Raf, and two of Tsaurah's friends. Daily News reporter Derek Rose made it out right after we'd finished, after a day of covering the strike.

We started at 8:30 and had so much fun. I read Shanna Germain's "Waiting for a Spanking" because I deemed my own stories in the book "too dirty." Then Nichelle read Heidi's, aka Bette Taylor's, story "Underwater Surprise," aka Chunnel porn. Tsaurah did an excellent job enunciating all sorts of naughty words that made us crack up, then Heidi read Nichelle's "Hit Me With Your Best Shot." But Syd was really the star of the night, reading "Marina Saint"'s story "Most Unexpected" with such passion and authenticity. It's, um, a very hot story, possibly true, and pretty much one I will never be able to read aloud. Key phrase "butt's bullseye." All in all it was a super fun night filled with candy and spanking stories (but sadly, no spanking, perhaps because Cheryl wasn't there. Also, free drinks for us! I love having such awesome friends who'll come out during a transit strike and be so much fun.

Come to the next one on January 18th and I'll be posting here about a real reading from Naughty Spanking Stories from A to Z 2 when the book's actually out.

IN THE FLESH EROTIC READING SERIES
WEDNESDAY JANUARY 18th at 8 PM
AT HAPPY ENDING LOUNGE, 302 BROOME STREET
(B/D to Grand, J/M/Z to Bowery, F to Delancey, www.happyendinglounge.com)
Admission: Free

Stay warm this winter with the hottest and juiciest words in the city! January welcomes a stunning mix of performers, including romance novelist Edith Layton (Gypsy Lover), fiction writer Danyel Smith (Bliss), and erotic storytellers Iris N. Schwartz (Stirring Up a Storm) and Rob Stephenson (Best Gay Erotica), along with a naughty tale from host Rachel Kramer Bussel.

In the Flesh is a new monthly reading series hosted at the appropriately named Happy Ending Lounge, and features the city's best erotic writers sharing stories to get you hot and bothered, hosted and curated by Village Voice sex columnist and acclaimed erotic writer and editor Rachel Kramer Bussel. From erotic poetry to down and dirty smut, these authors get naked on the page and will make you lust after them and their words. Future themed nights include travel tales, fetishes, true confessions and erotic memoirs.

Rachel Kramer Bussel is a New York City-based author and editor. She is Senior Editor at Penthouse Variations and a Contributing Editor and columnist for Penthouse and writes the Lusty Lady column for The Village Voice. Her erotic stories have appeared in over 50 anthologies, including Best American Erotica 2004, and she’s edited her own collections, including Naughty Spanking Stories from A to Z 1 and 2. Rachel has also written for AVN, Bust, Metro, New York Post, Punk Planet, Time Out New York and Velvetpark. www.rachelkramerbussel.com

Edith Layton is the author of over 30 novels, including Alas, My Love, The Return of the Earl, To Tempt a Bride, The Devil’s Bargain, and her latest, Gypsy Lover. She has received she received a Lifetime Achievement Award from Romantic Times, and excellent reviews, awards and commendations from Library Journal, Romance Readers Anonymous and The Romance Writers of America.

Iris N. Schwartz is a fiction writer, poet, and editor whose story, “Hedonics,” is included in the anthology Stirring Up A Storm: Tales of the Sensual, the Sexual, and the Erotic. Her novella, The Fruits of Her Labors, is in That’s Amore! Her erotic fiction has also been anthologized in The Big Book of Hot Women’s Erotica 2004, Down and Dirty 2003, and elsewhere. She’s had poetry anthologized in An Eye For an Eye Makes the Whole World Blind: Poets on 9/11, and in the U.K.-based Listening to the Birth of Crystals. In addition, her writing has appeared in on-line and print publications such as Ducts Magazine, Erbacce, Ludlow Press, Pikeville Review, and Vernacular. Iris is Articles Editor for the Web site Littleviews.com. She has performed her work at many venues, including Bowery Poetry Club, Collective Unconscious, KGB Bar, and The Knitting Factory, as well as on WBAI, WBAR, WNYE, and WSTR radio stations, on-line, interactive TV, and cable TV.

Danyel Smith is a former ed-at-large for Time Inc. and a former ed-in-chief of Vibe. She writes around for Elle, Cosmo, Essence, wrote once (!) for the New Yorker, will show up in Rolling Stone sometimes, still reps in spirit for the San Francisco Bay Guardian, and wrote concert/album reviews for the New York Times back in the day. Smith is the author of the San Francisco Chronicle-bestselling novel, More Like Wrestling, and she wrote the introduction for the New York Times-bestseller Tupac Shakur. Her second novel, Bliss, was published in July 2005.

Rob Stephenson's writing appears over fifty publications Rob Stephenson's writing appears in over 50 publications online and in print including: Skin and Ink, Between the Palms, Blithe House Quarterly, BUTT, Dangerous Families, Problem Child, Best Gay Erotica, Best Bisexual Erotica, Tough Guys, and Perspectives on Evil and Human Wickedness. He is co-founder of the Erotic Authors Association.

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Most Looked-Up Words

Dictionary.com's Alphabet of Most Looked-Up Words of 2005

I heard a drunken rumor

That some hot girls are talking about me in this Drunkcast. I will hopefully get to listen this weekend. Also: no more strike! Woo-hoo!

Home for the Holidays column


danelise
Originally uploaded by rkb2.
Photo by Philip Stark of Elise Nersesian and Dan Allen - I interviewed Dan for the column.

Lusty Lady Home for the Holidays column

In case you missed it, since it's getting close to that time. Having walked across the Williamsburg bridge and all the way to 32nd/7th, I am not return to Brooklyn until at least Saturday, and will even get to see my family while they're in town. I honestly can't wait to get home this wekeend though and bunker down - will be good preparation for my month of staying in (January), when I intend to kick my own ass so I can join the ranks of my umpteen friends who have book deals (when I say "book deal" I mean something that pays more than one month's rent, unlike the teeny tiny little projects I work on that are more like hobbies considering what they pay - not that I don't know that going in, but still).

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Peter Hyman on Why Jews Love Christmas

Peter Hyman on Why Jews Love Christmas

Gothamist interview with Molly Crabapple

I interviewed hottie Molly Crabapple, who's an artist/illustrator, burlesque performer, model and all-around awesome woman


Photo by Aeric Meredith-Goujon

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Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Metrocard extensions

At least our Metrocards will get extended. And that "at least" is meant to be sarcastic, it's really little fucking consolation. Friends are cancelling their trips here this weekend. I am more than content to stay home all weekend, just want to make it through to Friday. This really sucks, but I'm sure everyone reading this knows that.

I'm waiting my labor history professor uncle's take on the strike.

Also: Come to my reading or don't, but just let it be a surprise, okay? None of this, "I'll call you," "I'm coming - ha ha, I'm not coming." It's really fine either way, you don't have to RSVP. That goes for tonight AND ANY EVENT I'M DOING. Just a little pet peeve of mine. Thanks.

I may have to become an artist

Dr. Sketchy's looks so hot - next one is January 14th

Dr. Sketchy's is what happens when cabaret meets art school.

We comb New York to find the most beautiful burlesque dancers, the most bizarre circus freaks, and the most rippling hunks of man. Then, on the second Saturday of every month, we let you draw them for three hours. Interspersed with posing are ridiculous drawing contests (best left handed drawing? Best incorporation of a woodland animal?) where you can win alcohol and fancy art supply prizes.

To get you in the mood for tonight

Snippets from the stories from Naughty Spanking Stories from A to Z 2 (Pretty Things Press, January or February 2006). If you want to hear the rest, come to Happy Ending Lounge, 302 Broome Street, at 8 tonight!

Queuing Up
by Rachel Kramer Bussel

That first slap always takes me by surprise, even when I’m expecting it. There is such a vast difference between my ass laid bare, exposed to the air, but relatively intact, and the heat that brews along that most sensitive of parts after he has spanked me; from eager to seething in several brutal, beautiful seconds. Craig holds his hand tight against my skin, maintaining the warmth and the pain, making it last those few precious seconds longer. I’m lying naked across his lap, and beneath his tight jeans, his cock presses up against me, hinting, surging, wanting, but my spankings aren’t about his cock, as much as I might want them to be, as hot and wet as they might get me. Sometimes I wonder if they’re even about me at all; Craig comes to me with a glint in his eye, a severity of purpose and steely resolve to spank me until I flip over some immutable edge that I am in constant awe at how much our urges are in sync.

Underwater Surprise
by Bette Taylor

"Goddammit!" I cursed under my breath, pausing the Berlitz French-for-beginners tape. Two hours until we reached Paris and I still could barely speak a word of French. I gazed out the window of the Eurostar at the British countryside, at sheep ignorant of my inner frustration. My girlfriend Chris was dozing in the seat next to me. She didn't speak any French either, but she wasn't as worried about it as I was. "We'll get by," she always said. I certainly hoped she was right.

Hit Me With Your Best Shot
by Nichelle

The song “Slave Driver” by Bob Marley was playing in my head after I received an email from my boss at four that afternoon. It was marked urgent, so I knew it wasn’t good. She wanted me to redo the PowerPoint presentation for tomorrow’s meeting with a new client before I left for the day. Damn! It was Monday, and I had spent the whole day working on another big project and was finally feeling a sense of accomplishment.

Violet, Scarlet, Crimson
by Michele Zipp

Violet was the color of her bruise, staining her pale skin; it was almost vulgar, yet inflicted in the midst of such heat and fire, it’s fitting really. They say the closest thing to love is hate, so is the closest thing to pleasure, pain? Was this type of hurt, although most pleasurable, the one thing that reminded them of how wrong it all was?

You Know You Want It
by Tsaurah Litzky

I was sitting on the subway trying to review my lecture notes for the class on Writing about Doing it –Portraying The Dynamics Of Sex that I’m en route to teach, but I can’t concentrate; all I want is a spanking. I would look down at the words in front of me but what I could see was myself bending over the arm of a plump sofa, with my Levis and panties down around my ankles and my big bouncy bottom stuck up in the air. A construction worker wearing only his helmet, his work boots, a wife beater tee shirt and a loaded tool belt is standing over me. He takes out his big screwdriver and spanks me not at all gently with the wooden end. When my butt is all rosy and stinging and sweetly throbbing, he flips me over, inserts his huge master tool deep into me and fixes me right up. When we are done, he turns me over and spanks me again. When I get to my stop, I still haven’t reviewed my notes, but my nipples are hard little jujubes and my pantyhose is wet.

Allison mid-strip


ps_DSC3025
Originally uploaded by brianvan.
While I was at Barrage, Allison was taking her clothes off. Brian Van documented it all.

Letter to the editor about my rape fantasies column

It's been a while since there was a letter to the editor published in The Village Voice about my column. This is not the forum for me to respond, but needless to say, I disagree, and also think that context is crucial. Here's one that's in this week's paper:

Dangerous invitation

Rachel Kramer Bussel should be told that there are some things that just can't be printed ["What's Behind Rape Fantasies?," Lusty Lady, December 7–13], even if they are someone else's words: "Delfino tells me, 'I think it's innate for every woman to have an internal need to be wanted so badly that a man would take sex from her.' " Maybe the editor should have stopped Bussel from printing such an absolute lie. It puts all women in danger for some stupid bitch to say that it's innate for women to want to be raped. That's not true, so stop printing such bullshit.

Angel Rowan

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Come hear smut and drink tonight at IN THE FLESH!

I made it into Manhattan quite easily, actually, through the kindness of strangers, and even chose to walk rather than take the PATH. It feels good to get out of Brooklyn even though things are stressful. Cheryl B. cannot make it tonight. But if you can, come hear us read spanking smut, as a prep for a book that hopefully will someday get published (in all likelihood, February, but who knows?) and drink drink drink!


Click through and scroll down for Table of Contents.

In The Flesh Erotic Reading Series
Wednesday, December 21st, 8 pm
Happy Ending Lounge, 302 Broome Street, NYC (http://www.happyendinglounge.com)
Admission: Free

Join In The Flesh host Rachel Kramer Bussel for a reading from and book party for her latest anthology, Naughty Spanking Stories from A to Z 2, along with local contributors Tsaurah Litzky, Nichelle, Bette Taylor and Michele Zipp. They will all read short selections from their work, and refreshments will be served! Spankings are optional. You'll be able to pre-order the book, which will be out in early 2006.

In the Flesh is a new monthly reading series hosted at the appropriately named Happy Ending Lounge, and features the city's best erotic writers sharing stories to get you hot and bothered, hosted and curated by Village Voice sex columnist and acclaimed erotic writer and editor Rachel Kramer Bussel. From erotic poetry to down and dirty smut, these authors get naked on the page and will make you lust after them and their words. Future themed nights include travel tales, fetishes, true confessions and erotic memoirs.

Rachel Kramer Bussel is a New York City-based author and editor. She is Senior Editor at Penthouse Variations and a Contributing Editor and columnist for Penthouse and writes the Lusty Lady column for The Village Voice. Her erotic stories have appeared in over 50 anthologies, including Best American Erotica 2004, and she’s edited her own collections, including Naughty Spanking Stories from A to Z 1 and 2. Rachel has also written for AVN, Bust, Metro, New York Post, Punk Planet, Time Out New York and Velvetpark. www.rachelkramerbussel.com

Tsaurah Litzky believes in bustiers , fishnets, hedging her bets, no regrets and the beneficial effects of a good spanking. Her erotica has appeared in many publications including Best American Erotica, Penthouse, The Blacklisted Journalist, Politically Inspired, Wicked Women 7 and she is particularly delighted to have a story in volume 1 of Naughty Spanking Stories from A to Z. Her erotic novella, The Motion of the Ocean is included in Three the Hard Way, a series of erotic novellas published by Simon & Schuster. She has also published eight books of poetry and is currently at work on an erotic novel. Tsaurah teaches erotic writing at the New School and erotic poetry at the Bowery Poetry Club. http://tsaurahlitzky.com

Nichelle is a Southern girl who loves New York City. For laughs, she produces "Chicks and Giggles," an all-girl stand-up comedy show. She writes on her blog, Nichelle Newsletter (http://nichellenewsletter.typepad.com) and she is a co-blogger on Cupcakes Take The Cake blog (http://cupcakestakethecake.blogspot.com). Nichelle has read her work all over New York City at Atomic Reading Series, Reading Series at Barbes, Sunday Salon and WYSIWYG at PS 122. Her work has appeared online at The Black Table, Gothamist, New York Cool and The Simon.

Bette Taylor grew up in rural Oregon. Now 29 and a lawyer in New York City, she thinks up dirty stories during her lunch breaks. Buy her a drink sometime.

Michele Zipp has been called a “softly panting GOP sex tigress” by some circles of the media, but she’s really just an old fashioned girl who loves chocolate and secrets. As the ex-editor-in-chief of a certain dick mag, Michele is now freelancing and on certain nights can be found dancing atop tables in bars in her hometown of NYC looking for some bipartisan inspiration. Her writings have appeared in Heat Wave, Juicy Erotica, Best Bondage Erotica, Naughty Stories From A To Z 3, and of course Naughty Spanking Stories From A To Z I.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

grouchy and lazy

Between the strike, my general laziness, and annoying publishing issues, I'm in a grouchy mood. Thankfully I had some personal days I hadn't taken so stayed home today and didn't stress about getting into the city, though tomorrow I need to for work and to do In The Flesh, which at this point I don't even care about. I am definitely sticking with my staying in during January plan, because I have to try to earn some money from writing. If I had another skill, I'd try to ply that, cause I hate being in debt, but I don't, so writing it shall be. That's about it. Last night I sadly missed the blogger/comedian stripping action, but did discover my new favorite bar - Barrage. With the cutest gay boy and straight boy around, who regaled me with tales of their worst dates as we listened to Tiffany and Debbie Gibson. And they invited me to New Hampshire for New Year's, and I just may go.

Yes, I really am grouchy today, but since I'm clearly not going anywhere anytime soon, I'm just gonna chill and try to kick my own ass into getting some work done. I very rarely long to live in Manhattan. I did it once, for three crappy years thanks to NYU Law School, and it sucked, cause I was crazy broke, failing my classes, and just generally knew nothing. I probably still know very little, but at least more than I did at 20/21/22. But right now I would love to live anywhere in Manhattan and be able to get around easily. It's okay though; I'm going to try to make the best of it and be productive instead of frittering away the time.

Another Gothamist interview

Blah blah blah, I know. But Dan Allen is cool and a funny guy so check out the interview.

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Monday, December 19, 2005

the beret really clinches it


the beret really clinches it
Originally uploaded by rkb2.
Am I right or am I right? Heather DOES look like Monica. And yes, she's legal to drink, just barely.

how the almost orgy got started


how the almost orgy got started
Originally uploaded by rkb2.

hot bloggers in fishnets


hot bloggers in fishnets
Originally uploaded by rkb2.
Yes, I have so many photos I had to make a 2nd flickr account. Saturday night photos are going up now.

I need your smut

I'm editing 5 anthologies right now and need stories! There are 3 calls for submissions here, on bondage, feet/shoes, and underwear/lingerie, and even though it says I only need gay/lesbian/bi stories, I will also consider some straight stories.

If you've already had some erotica published and/or I know you and you're super into writing erotic stories, email me at rachelkb at gmail.com and I can give you the info about the other 2 - they're a lot of fun I'm just not putting those calls all over the place. And if you know anyone who wants to write some smut and get published, send them to me. All the anthologies pay $50 for first-time rights (unpublished stories only) and 2 copies of the book in question. Thanks!

Blogmukkah photos galore

Courtesy of Brian Van

My photos are coming soon. And for the record, Heather is HOTTER than Monica Lewinsky imo! I know I'm not the only one who sees the resemblance.

Miranda July hates the cover of her DVD

So she designed a funny place-holder and blogged about it

Join us Wednesday for In The Flesh!


Click through and scroll down for Table of Contents.

In The Flesh Erotic Reading Series
Wednesday, December 21st, 8 pm
Happy Ending Lounge, 302 Broome Street, NYC (http://www.happyendinglounge.com)
Admission: Free

Join In The Flesh host Rachel Kramer Bussel for a reading from and book party for her latest anthology, Naughty Spanking Stories from A to Z 2, along with local contributors Cheryl B., Tsaurah Litzky, Nichelle, Bette Taylor and Michele Zipp. They will all read short selections from their work, and refreshments will be served! Spankings are optional. You'll be able to pre-order the book, which will be out in early 2006.

In the Flesh is a new monthly reading series hosted at the appropriately named Happy Ending Lounge, and features the city's best erotic writers sharing stories to get you hot and bothered, hosted and curated by Village Voice sex columnist and acclaimed erotic writer and editor Rachel Kramer Bussel. From erotic poetry to down and dirty smut, these authors get naked on the page and will make you lust after them and their words. Future themed nights include travel tales, fetishes, true confessions and erotic memoirs.

Rachel Kramer Bussel is a New York City-based author and editor. She is Senior Editor at Penthouse Variations and a Contributing Editor and columnist for Penthouse and writes the Lusty Lady column for The Village Voice. Her erotic stories have appeared in over 50 anthologies, including Best American Erotica 2004, and she’s edited her own collections, including Naughty Spanking Stories from A to Z 1 and 2. Rachel has also written for AVN, Bust, Metro, New York Post, Punk Planet, Time Out New York and Velvetpark. www.rachelkramerbussel.com

Cheryl B. is a poet and essayist. Her work appears in over two dozen anthologies and literary magazines including; BLOOM, Pills, Thrills, Chills and Heartache: Adventures in the First Person (Alyson) and Best Lesbian Erotica 2005 (Cleis Press) among many others. She is the recipient of a 2003 poetry fellowship from the New York Foundation for the Arts and a writer’s residency from the Virginia Center for the Creative Arts. A native New Yorker, she lives in Brooklyn and online at www.cherylb.com

Tsaurah Litzky believes in bustiers , fishnets, hedging her bets, no regrets and the beneficial effects of a good spanking. Her erotica has appeared in many publications including Best American Erotica, Penthouse, The Blacklisted Journalist, Politically Inspired, Wicked Women 7 and she is particularly delighted to have a story in volume 1 of Naughty Spanking Stories from A to Z. Her erotic novella, The Motion of the Ocean is included in Three the Hard Way, a series of erotic novellas published by Simon & Schuster. She has also published eight books of poetry and is currently at work on an erotic novel. Tsaurah teaches erotic writing at the New School and erotic poetry at the Bowery Poetry Club. http://tsaurahlitzky.com

Nichelle is a Southern girl who loves New York City. For laughs, she produces "Chicks and Giggles," an all-girl stand-up comedy show. She writes on her blog, Nichelle Newsletter (http://nichellenewsletter.typepad.com) and she is a co-blogger on Cupcakes Take The Cake blog (http://cupcakestakethecake.blogspot.com). Nichelle has read her work all over New York City at Atomic Reading Series, Reading Series at Barbes, Sunday Salon and WYSIWYG at PS 122. Her work has appeared online at The Black Table, Gothamist, New York Cool and The Simon.

Bette Taylor grew up in rural Oregon. Now 29 and a lawyer in New York City, she thinks up dirty stories during her lunch breaks. Buy her a drink sometime.

Michele Zipp has been called a “softly panting GOP sex tigress” by some circles of the media, but she’s really just an old fashioned girl who loves chocolate and secrets. As the ex-editor-in-chief of a certain dick mag, Michele is now freelancing and on certain nights can be found dancing atop tables in bars in her hometown of NYC looking for some bipartisan inspiration. Her writings have appeared in Heat Wave, Juicy Erotica, Best Bondage Erotica, Naughty Stories From A To Z 3, and of course Naughty Spanking Stories From A To Z I.

Lisa Whiteman interview at Gothamist

I interviewed photographer Lisa Whiteman today at Gothamist - she has exhibits coming up at The Museum of The City of New York and M Shanghai Den, and has taken lots of awesome photos


Photo by Jena Cumbo


After you read the interview, you should totally visit Lisa's website and check out her awesome photos.

Sunday, December 18, 2005

Pamela Paul on blogging books

Pamela Paul, author of Pornified, looks at author reactions to having their books discussed on blogs. She linked to Icerocket and Feedster, which I'd seen via some hits here, but hadn't used before, and now am going to be suitable addicted. I know I shouldn't really care or even look at what people are saying about me, but it's impossible for me to stay away. I'm trying to spend less time online, though it doesn't always work, but I'm trying to force myself to be a little more pro-active about getting stuff done so I'm not so stressed all the time. I'm sure I have better things to do than haunt Technorati all the time, but so far it's still pretty irresistible.

sugar sweet lemon


lemon
Originally uploaded by roboppy.
Roboppy and I clearly have similar taste. There are some very prettily decorated cupcakes in the case here now but there always are so that's not so new. sugar Sweet sunshine

Another take on the 2 Boots reading

Discofeminist was at the crazy 2 Boots reading and gives the whole rundown on the madness.

Last night was...

So crazy all I can really say is that I walked into my apartment at 7:05. A.M. And had to buy a $2 metrocard cause mine had expired and I didn't have a credit card on me. I have photos, but seem to have lost the cord to plug into my camera and have more important things to do today than look for it. Luckily, my brunch and dinner plans got cancelled so I can slowly recover from the madness, involving a hot Monica Lewinsky-lookalike, umpteen bloggers, an almost orgy, and me on the dance floor (which happens about once a year). I actually really missed wearing my usual cleavagey attire, but I did rock my inherited "I'm a Christmas miracle" t-shirt, to much amusement.

Also:

I'm SO gonna be part of one of Girlspoke's drunkcasts soon

Yes, I'm totally lost any "street cred" I may have had (and Alexis thought I'd have to wait till I was married with kids, but apparently permanently single does the trick just as well). I'm kidding, really, cause honestly, I just don't care. My life is totally boring and I'm fine with it. That's why my columns are mostly about other people who actually have sex lives. Someday I'll have something interesting to say, or maybe I'll just keep that to myself. Or just use my imagination and keep writing smut. I definitely feel like turning 30 has made me a little more mature, wanting to slightly pull back, save some things for myself, my friends, and just sortof ponder things a little more. Who knows, though? I have no idea what will happen, I'm just taking everything one day at a time and trying to get my life in order as much as I can. Hopefully I can still write interesting columns, and if not, well, then I won't have those gigs anymore, I guess.

I love working at sugar Sweet sunshine. It'll go from quiet and mellow to totally crowded, there's lots of little kids getting frosting all over their faces, and it's toasty, warm, and smells like sugar. Now I just have to get to the "working" part of the day.

Reading my dishwashing erotica story


img_6834
Originally uploaded by semyon.
It's called, funnily enough, "Doing the Dishes."

I think my answer was "the baby's dead"


img_6823
Originally uploaded by semyon.
But I've forgotten the question. I hadn't realized how much I miss the rush of trivia until last week. So fun!

from The Jenny Vaudeville Show


img_6971
Originally uploaded by semyon.



Smile by me, makeup by BET

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Ana Marie Cox January 5th at B&N Astor Place

I was at Barnes & Noble Astor Place yesterday buying some holiday gifts and when I checked out saw that Ana Marie Cox is reading from Dog Days on January 5th. I read it a while ago but will probably go hear her read, though at this point I can barely plan a few hours in advance with so much to do.

Latest Lusty Lady, "Home for the Holidays"

Lusty Lady
"Home for the Holidays"
'Tis the Season for Sneaking Around at Mom and Dad's

Friday, December 16, 2005

Orhan Pamuk trial

When we were in Istanbul in September, his books were everywhere, and I still have one, his latest book, a memoir called Istanbul, that I need to read. Every guidebook emphasized how modern Turkey was trying to be, but censorship in the name of patriotism showcases just the opposite. I'd heard rumblings about this before, and it's not just scary, it's sad to see Turkey trying to deny its past. Every country (probably, I don't know for sure but I would venture to guess) has atrocities in its past, many that linger on and permeate how modern citizens view those perceived as "other," and ignoring them won't make it go away. It's the height of hypocrisy for Turkey to claim Pamuk as a national literary hero and simultaneously try to censor him. As many problems as this country has, I think the freedom of speech we're guaranteed by the First Amendment is one of our most precious, powerful rights. Prosecutors have charged him with insulting the Turkish Republic and ''Turkishness,'' a charge that requires Justice Ministry approval. What's highly ironic is that Pamuk, in the few pages of Istanbul I did read, emphasizes his love for his country, albeit complicated by many factors.

from today's NYT article on Pamuk trial

In a brief statement to the press, Pamuk said ''it is not good for Turkey, for our democracy, for such freedom of expression cases to be prolonged.''

He faces up to three years in prison for telling a Swiss newspaper in February that Turkey is unwilling to deal with painful episodes in its treatment of the country's Armenian minority or its continuing problems with its 12 million Kurdish citizens.

The deep emotions that the case has stirred were obvious at the trial Friday.

As Pamuk left the courthouse, a group of several dozen nationalists shouted: ''Traitor!''; ''Turkey is ashamed of you!''; ''Shame on you!''; and pelted his car with eggs. Pamuk was escorted by riot police, who used shields to push the crowd back.

Tell me how you feel about penis (size)

I'm doing a Village Voice column on cock size - does it matter? (Really.) I especially want to hear from guys - tell me your age, sexual orientation, relationship status, anything else you think is important. Email me at rachelkb at gmail.com with "size" in the subject line.

Do you/have you measured your penis?

Are you happy with the size of your penis? Has your opinion on cock size (your own and/or generally) changed as you've gotten older?

How important do you think cock size is to good sex?

Have women/men ever told you your dick is too big/too small (or just right)? Have you ever tried to enlarge your penis?

Do you mentally compare your cock size to other guys', whether in porn or the locker room?

How does your cock size relate (or not) to the rest of your appearance - is your cock what someone might "expect" to find? However you want to take this - I know people have all sorts of assumptions, from the big feet = big cock thing to ideas about race and cock size to other ones.

And any good stories, opinions, etc. on the topic would be great. Basically it's pretty open-ended, I want to hear about penis size assumptions, realities, fantasies, etc. Obviously I only have my usual 1100 words but I'll do my best.

Women, if you have something to say on the topic, that's great too but I mostly want to hear what guys think about it. For once, I am trying to do my Voice columns a bit early so it's not such a mad dash.

sun!

It's so sunny and beautiful out I'm almost hot in just a sweater. I slept in, had breakfast with my awesome friend Ellen and am trying to enjoy the sun, get some reading and writing done, send holiday cards and run errands. Before I head off into errand land though I'm just gonna enjoy this rare bit of warmth. I had to skip all the crazy parties last night cause I was just so laden with bags and exhausted from the madness of the week. Just trying to relax, catch up on old projects, start/conceive new ones and figure out all the social gatherings happening in the next few days.

In some happy news, Lippy Imp gave my story "Trepidation" a very nice plug over at Janesguide:

“Trepidation” by Rachel Kramer Bussel smolders, reading like the screenplay to your favorite dirty dream.

That's about it for now, aside from throwing out and sorting stuff in my crazy messy apartment and just trying to enjoy this gorgeous day.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Books go behind the velvet rope

First there was Lauren Weisberger's barely readable Everyone Worth Knowing - for the record, I did read it but was totally bored by pretty much all the characters and really just found nothing redeeming about it.

But I did think it was interesting to see these forthcoming titles (all gleaned from Amazon.com, book covers where available):

Confessions from the Velvet Ropes: The Glamorous, Grueling Life of Thomas Onorato, New York's Top Club Doorman by Glenn Belverio, Thomas Onorato (St. Martins Griffin, July 11)

Tabloid Love: Chasing Hot Prospects on Deadline by Bridget Harrison (Perseus Book Group, June 30)

From the catalog description, it sounds like they're going for a Carrie Bradshaw type of story, playing up her personal drama against the backdrop of her job at The New York Post. And OF COURSE I want to read it, both for curiosity's sake and for the same gossipy, entertainment value I want to read any book like this, say, The Washingtonienne. I'm happy to read chick lit, light, fun, girlie, for lack of a better word, books, as long as I'm getting something out of it. Carrie Bradshaw as a character bored me to tears (even though I loved SATC) because she just seemed so clueless and morose and not real. I'd rather read about someone crazy and outrageous and fun than her any day.

But Enough About Me: How a Suburban Jersey Girl Got Behind the Velvet Rope Through Shameless Flattery, Disturbingly Meticulous Research, and a Few Other Tricks by Jancee Dunn (Harpercollins, June 1)

But Enough About Me was previously titled Like a Complete Unknown and has got to be vying for one of the longest book titles, though maybe that's a trend, too - Jen Lancaster's funny sorority girl-turned-blogger story is called Bitter is the New Black : Confessions of a Condescending, Egomaniacal, Self-Centered Smartass, Or, Why You Should Never Carry A Prada Bag to the Unemployment Office and yes, they've squeezed all of that onto the cover.

4% Famous by Deborah Schoeneman (Shaye Areheart Books, May 9)
4% Famous

4% Famous



The Velvet Rope Diaries by Daniella Brodsky (Berkley Trade, April 4)
The Velvet Rope Diaries

The Velvet Rope Diaries



This one clearly looks like nothing more than ripoff of Weisberger's book, which is pretty funny because that's not something I'd want to brag about. Also, is throwing "Diaries" into your book title the new "Confessions Of..." or what?

Semi-related:

The Last Days of Dead Celebrities by Mitchell Fink (Miramax-Weinstein, May 17)

Teen People: Celebrity Style Guide by Editors of Teen People Magazine (Teen People, June 20)

50 Things Every Guy Should Know How to Do: Celebrity and Expert Advice on Living Large by Daniel Kline, Jason Tomaszewski (Plume, April 25)

Is it me, or is their definition of celebrity, well, stretching it? See for yourself:

50 Things Every Guy Should Know How to Do

50 Things Every Guy Should Know How to Do



Amazon description:

The guy’s guide to 50 essential skills—by the guys (and gals) who know best

From picking the right beer to running for elected office, this is an indispensable guide to the skills that every well-rounded male should master. Daniel Kline and Jason Tomaszewski go straight to the experts, obtaining advice from:

• Amarillo Slim, poker legend, on No-Limit Texas Hold ’Em
• Carson Kressley, cohost of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy on dressing for a date
• Gene Upshaw, director of the NFLPA, on making a business deal
• Senator Joe Lieberman, on running for office
• Kevin O’Connor, host of This Old House, on home improvement
• Tera Patrick, adult film star, on turning a woman on

For every guy who’s ever wondered how to start a business, get a job in sports, survive in prison—or cook the perfect steak—50 Things Every Guy Should Know How to Do is the one irreplaceable source for all the answers.

Lang is...

a Dirty Old Prom Queen. Check out her hilarious new blog! Because, you know, you can't be friends with me unless you're a blogger (KIDDING!). She's also part of The Wiener Philharmonic who are very funny and have a new show coming in January.

truce

The thing is, I don't have to be best friends with everyone, much as I'd sometimes like to be. I've learned the hard way that I can't see the good in everyone, and sometimes have to excise people from my life, sadly, because of circumstances that make it more painful to be friends than not. But, on the whole, I'd like to think I'm pretty fair. I'm fine with people disagreeing with me or critiquing me-certainly, I do that all the time and won't say I like something or someone if I don't. But I'm not out to make enemies or get into feuds, and I know conventional wisdom is to just let things go, it's not so much a matter of my feelings being hurt as people misinterpreting things. The point being, eebmore wrote to me, and all is well. The end.

ps. Not trying to say I'm perfect or I'm always nice or I'm not opinionated or bitchy sometimes, but OVERALL, I think I'm a pretty nice and fair person and just as nerdy and insecure and whatever as anyone else. Not all the time but enough of the time that hopefully I can try to understand where someone's coming from, and all I ask is that people do the same, and you know what? Most of them do.

I heart The Jenny Vaudeville Show

Last night's Jenny Vaudeville Show at Pete's Candy Store was SO fun. Perhaps the most fun I've had while performing, because I got to share the lineup with hilarious people like Carolyn Castiglia, The Rob and Mark Show, and The Dartmouth Cords. It was really priceless to watch all my blogger friends crack up over Rob and Mark's blog song ("We don't want to read your blog"). Check out some photos, including Rob shirtless, and Jen in her Wonder Woman underwear. Fuller recap later. You can also go stalk flirt with cute Dartmouth boys. Also, there was trivia! Cupcakes Take the Cake competed against each other, and I wound up winning . . . the 2nd season of Too Close for Comfort on DVD. Guess I know what I'll be doing on my day off! What else? Jessica stole me extra olives from the bar, we peeked at this boy's doodles, discussed the whole "lady in the street/freak in the bed" phenomenon and much more. It was a delight to meander home at 2 am. Not so much getting up in the morning, but still. Also be sure to check out The Re-Gifting Comedy Show on December 30th.

Deepak Chopra to rewrite Kama Sutra

From Hindustan Times

Spiritual guru to stars like Elizabeth Taylor, Michael Jackson and many royals, Deepak Chopra has been reportedly commissioned to rewrite Vatsayana's Kama Sutra, the world famous book on sex tantra and erotic enjoyment. According to a report Virgin has paid Chopra a six- figure sum to pen his interpretation of the Kama Sutra.

The deal has been described as bringing together two of India's well-known and established brands. The book might be called Deepak Chopra's
Kama Sutra: Timeless Erotica for the Virgin Mind.

 

Because Jonathan Ames never gets laid, right?

I do think it's interesting to get other perspectives on why there are so many more women writing about sex than men, but there are at least some men doing it (Kevin Keck, Jonathan Ames, Grant Stoddard, Ian Kerner, Neal Medlyn, etc.). But I'm an imbecile, so what do I know? Mars, Explained"

4. This is the humdinger most important reason that men do not write frankly about sex on the internet. If word got out that a man was writing specific, graphic details about his sex life, said man WOULD NEVER EVER GET LAID AGAIN, for the rest of his life. Ever. We can write to our hearts content about not having sex, we can write about our love of pornography. We can even, with careful wordage, tell what exactly it is that we are doing while we are loving that pornography. But we cannot, under any circumstances, publish about our coital victories and ever hope to again be graced with an intimate familiarity of the genitalia of the fairer sex.

Also, I don't know if I actually said the quote in question. There were some questions that Amy Sohn emailed us after the discussion, and this was my full response to her, which may result in the same thing as that tiny quote, but was part of a broader answer:

Why aren't there any straight male sex columnists?

That is a very tough question. My friend Will Leitch once wrote: “If most of these women (and, of course, they’re always women; a guy’s columns about sex would always have the same predictable, abrupt end, and they’d all run about 150 words) had sex as often as they claimed, I don’t know how they’d even have time to write their columns.”

I don’t know, but I think it stems from straight guys not being as comfortable talking about sex in general. Girls, no matter their sexual orientation, often will be laying down their romantic/sexual life drama within five minutes of meeting another girl, it just seems to come naturally, at least to me. Perhaps it’s because sex is less laden for guys; it’s simpler physically
and emotionally, at least, that’s what I hear from almost every male source – that it’s just not as fraught with drama and tension, although I do hear from plenty of guys about my columns.


I never pretend to have all the answers, and I think it was actually Amy who brought up the question of why there aren't more male sex columnists - drunk as I may have been, I don't recall looking around the table and actually posing the question that way, though there are tapes and transcripts, so maybe I did. But regardless, there are undeniably some men who write about sex who seem to have an abundance of women to choose from. Ahem, case in point (Ames, not me, obviously. I'm pretty much now the sex columnist who doesn't have sex, and that's fine, I'm gonna try for some sort of immaculate conception and just write about other people's sex lives).

some smut

This isn't really a sex blog per se, except that most of my writing is about sex in some way, so I don't really mind that I'm way, way behind in the Gridskipper urban sex blog poll. That's fine. I have no agenda for this blog. But I figured since it is the holiday season, and, well, just because, I could share some smut with you. This is the first paragraph of probably the dirtiest story I've ever written, "Gloss." Read the whole thing here.

Standing in front of the mirror, I apply the gooey liquid over my lips until they shine like glass, not gooey but slick and hard, almost icy. I'm keeping in mind my friend Alice's advice that "lip gloss should look like you've just given someone a blowjob." Whether or not they approximate this maxim, I know my lips will be the main attraction tonight, which is precisely the idea. They are slick and shiny, like a red race car, boldly drawing attention to themselves, whether the viewer wants to look or not. The rest of my ensemble works, too -- clingy black top and short tight black PVC skirt. But I want people's eyes firmly on my lips.